I need some advice to write the first Act of a story

[Sylver]

I could use some advice ^^ my current story is nearing its end of Act 2, but so far I'm receiving mixed/negative feedbacks from a few friends reading act 1. I understand their complaints, but it's a lot of feedback x) I plan on going back and rewriting Act 1 to improve on it. There's a sharp decline of views so perhaps changing it can benefit the flow of the story and attract readers to continue following the story, if they enjoy it ^^

Do you guys have any advice on how to write the first Act of a story?

 

[Macha]

Just don't do narrative betrayals and drugs. Smoking weed is okay.

 

[Eldoria]

I could use some advice ^^ my current story is nearing its end of Act 2, but so far I'm receiving mixed/negative feedbacks from a few friends reading act 1. I understand their complaints, but it's a lot of feedback x) I plan on going back and rewriting Act 1 to improve on it. There's a sharp decline of views so perhaps changing it can benefit the flow of the story and attract readers to continue following the story, if they enjoy it ^^

Do you guys have any advice on how to write the first Act of a story?

I don't have any good advice to satisfy your answer. But I would say don't let readers influence your story. Yes, readers are important, but readers don't determine the narrative; the author determines where the narrative will go.

I understand the complaints about reduced views (because I also experienced it). However, I have no intention of changing my narrative just to satisfy readers.

Readers to me are just guests, and I will welcome them graciously as a good host. However, I will not allow guests to change the decor of my house or influence my household policies.

Let interested guests stay and visit again... and let guests who complain leave amicably. I am only an author... not a god who can satisfy everyone's desires.

 

[Sylver]

Just don't do narrative betrayals and drugs. Smoking weed is okay.

Oooh, narrative betrayals like what?
Act 2 involves a reveal that puts the MC's adorable personality in a grim light when looking back.

 

[Macha]

Oooh, narrative betrayals like what?
Act 2 involves a reveal that puts the MC's adorable personality in a grim light when looking back.

Like you start with something wholesome but then everything suddenly become dark and depressing in the end.

Basically the premise become the opposite of what's in the synopsis.

 

[Eldoria]

Oooh, narrative betrayals like what?

Narrative betrayal occurs when you betray your fictional premise. For example, your synopsis promises an epic adventure exploring a spectacular fantasy world, but the narrative simply consists of the protagonist amassing a harem without ever touching on the epic adventure itself. This is narrative betrayal.

 

[Sylver]

I don't have any good advice to satisfy your answer. But I would say don't let readers influence your story. Yes, readers are important, but readers don't determine the narrative; the author determines where the narrative will go.

I understand the complaints about reduced views (because I also experienced it). However, I have no intention of changing my narrative just to satisfy readers.

Readers to me are just guests, and I will welcome them graciously as a good host. However, I will not allow guests to change the decor of my house or influence my household policies.

Let interested guests stay and visit again... and let guests who complain leave amicably. I am only an author... not a god who can satisfy everyone's desires.

You are incredibly wise, miss (or mister)

It's not just readers that influence it, some of them are friends. They enjoyed the story before when I first wrote it, but this second version isn't going well for them. In my attempt to add more events to Act 1, I guess it made them more critical to the content. I can see some of their points, but I told them to pause for now until I change act 1. It got stressful, admittedly

 

[pangmida]

Hmm, this is pretty vague. I can't say I'll be too helpful as I've just started reading your story (sorry for being slow btw lol). Do you know around when you observed a sharp decline of views? And do you perhaps feel comfortable to share a few bits and pieces of their feedback? If not, that's okay!

Truly, your stats don't look bad at all, unless you're comparing yourself to other stories with higher stats. I understand the impulsion of focusing on numbers, though. I've heard there's been a decline in online reader engagement in general recently, but correct me if I'm wrong.

Maybe you started off like a full on smut/erotica story but then turns out the plot gets a lot deeper and more complex than expected? Some smut readers tend to get impatient when there's more to a story than ??? (just going off assumptions here lol don't take it too seriously)

 

[Sylver]

Like you start with something wholesome but then everything suddenly become dark and depressing in the end.

Basically the premise become the opposite of what's in the synopsis.

Oh, well maybe?
Act 1 is more light-hearted and character driven. It's 64 chapters.

Act 2 is when the plot shifts to something more serious. Not like Berserker serious, but it's a change in tone compared to Act 1. But I make sure to give breaks so that the characters shine though. Too much serious or bleak can be stressful to read.

Does that count as a narrative betrayal? Act 2 is foreshadowed with a lot of moments in Act 1.

 

[Eldoria]

You are incredibly wise, miss (or mister)

It's not just readers that influence it, some of them are friends. They enjoyed the story before when I first wrote it, but this second version isn't going well for them. In my attempt to add more events to Act 1, I guess it made them more critical to the content. I can see some of their points, but I told them to pause for now until I change act 1. It got stressful, admittedly

You should ignore these complaints. You know... there's nothing more exhausting than responding to every complaint and trying to satisfy everyone's needs. Criticism can be good only as long as it's helpful.

For example, your friend might criticise a plot hole in Act 1. This is a good criticism. You can fix that plot hole.

However, if someone forces you to change the plot just because it doesn't suit their preferences, then they're actually trying to sabotage your fiction. These kinds of complaints are best ignored.

 

[Sylver]

You should ignore these complaints. You know... there's nothing more exhausting than responding to every complaint and trying to satisfy everyone's needs. Criticism can be good only as long as it's helpful.

For example, your friend might criticise a plot hole in Act 1. This is a good criticism. You can fix that plot hole.

However, if someone forces you to change the plot just because it doesn't suit their preferences, then they're actually trying to sabotage your fiction. These kinds of complaints are best ignored.

Most of their complaints is with the small details, like how i write my pose and how I describe the scene or setting or character actions.

They ask some stuff about the plot and writing, like today they asked me if the chapter explaining magic is necessary to the plot. But ahem, yea you have a good point.

 

[Macha]

Does that count as a narrative betrayal? Act 2 is foreshadowed with a lot of moments in Act 1.

That's just you building a natural progression for the story. A narrative betrayal is when you breaks the expectations for your story by making a drastic change to the story's direction without explanation.

 

[Sylver]

That's just you building a natural progression for the story. A narrative betrayal is when you breaks the expectations for your story by making a drastic change to the story's direction without explanation.

Ohh okay I see. Thanks, I learned something new today

 

[Rhaps]

Narrative betrayal occurs when you betray your fictional premise. For example, your synopsis promises an epic adventure exploring a spectacular fantasy world, but the narrative simply consists of the protagonist amassing a harem without ever touching on the epic adventure itself. This is narrative betrayal.

Can narrative betrayal be taken literally? There is a character in my story that can affect the narrative directly, like Adam from Lotm.

 

[Eldoria]

Can narrative betrayal be taken literally? There is a character in my story that can affect the narrative directly, like Adam from Lotm.

It doesn't matter if it affects the plot; every complexly written character (not just a plot device) should have the ability to influence the plot. However, the emphasis of narrative betrayal is more towards betraying the spirit of the story (the fictional premise).

Of course, this is debatable, because even extreme changes in narrative direction may be liked by readers. However, readers who truly follow the fiction from the promise of its premise will definitely be disappointed. Who wouldn't be disappointed if the chef served salad when you actually ordered steak on the menu?

And for me, one of the narrative betrayals that left a lasting impression was the ending of AoT, which initially promised the premise of freedom against oppression, but the ending was changed to a fatalistic and nihilistic narrative of fate simply because the author feared the consequences of his narrative freedom.

 

[Sylver]

Do you know around when you observed a sharp decline of views?

Not specifically, just a gradual decline through the first 64 chapters

Maybe you started off like a full on smut/erotica story but then turns out the plot gets a lot deeper and more complex than expected?

That is my story x) maybe not too smart though, I'm not the brightest haha. Act 1 has a lot of intimacy in the first 30 chapters, it slowly declines as the story progresses to a more serious focus. But I make sure to keep those romance and smut scenes when it feels natural and not forced. Act 2 has fewer love scenes but they are there.

And do you perhaps feel comfortable to share a few bits and pieces of their feedback?

Biggest one is that I fail to see the bigger picture, I spend too many words writing details and actions that don't contribute to the story. Examples are me writing out the setting, a characters actions, and some chapters being down to earth based around character interactions without much going on. And lots and lots of feedback about my prose and writing, loooots of feedback on that and most of it was critical, a bit forward and sometimes harsh? About 3 weeks ago I asked upfront for a rating and they gave me a 3/10 "overall it lacks direction, structure, and polish. A lot of things seem to happen. There is no causal or thematic connection between events. A lot of material can be trimmed. This is 153 words of story so far. It is not 100,000 words."

I told them to stop reading the story for now until I change up some stuff for Act 1, but not going to lie their criticisms make it hard for me to push forward and write my next chapter it's the main reason I wrote this post.

 

[pangmida]

Not specifically, just a gradual decline through the first 64 chapters

Ahh, I haven't gotten that far yet, so I can't say for certain why, but my immediate thought is—chapter titles. Many times, chapter titles themselves are like a form of advertisement. I randomly went through your Act 1 chapters, saw the title "Chapter 28: A Night of Intimacy," and immediately knew that chapter is gonna see a spike in views. And what do you know? It had 1.3k views, a huge spike between ch. 27 and 29. Then I saw "Chapter 32: A Cat teaching the Wolf how to taste her Prey" and also knew it would see a jump in views. I was right again. Smut readers and their smut-ridden brains, smh...

That is my story x) maybe not too smart though, I'm not the brightest haha. Act 1 has a lot of intimacy in the first 30 chapters, it slowly declines as the story progresses to a more serious focus. But I make sure to keep those romance and smut scenes when it feels natural and not forced. Act 2 has fewer love scenes but they are there.

Yeah, that's what I assumed. Many readers who see the tags "smut" and "harem" probably had their monkey brain activated and are there for the 18+ scenes haha. I know it's likely very discouraging to see that they might be less interested in the plot, but I really hope you don't let that convince you to write smut for the sake of views. In my humble opinion that holds no weight, dumping in smut just for smut just reads like slop or ?. Of course, you are fully within your own right to write anything you'd like. R18 material sells, after all. Just don't feel forced to write it; you can often tell when it's passionless smut written by a passionless author.

As for your friends' feedback... yeesh. So unnecessarily harsh. This is why I personally don't like giving feedback. I'd feel too bad. The only thing I had in mind was maybe separate the large, chunky paragraphs into smaller ones. Can't say much about the direction and etc. But you were writing slice of life, no? Slice of life sometimes don't need a big, active plot direction. Again, I have yet to read too much so I can't give good advice (nor do I think I'm qualified to, lol). But based on my personal experience, having just finished my own Act 1, I started off pretty slowly for some gradual worldbuilding, character introduction, and illustrating what the normal life was like before introducing a conflict.

I don't really give too much feedback when reading since I'm solely there to have fun and make silly comments, but it looks like you really want some feedback, so if you'd like, I can do my best to jot down some notes as I read?

 

[Eldoria]

Most of their complaints is with the small details, like how i write my pose and how I describe the scene or setting or character actions.

They ask some stuff about the plot and writing, like today they asked me if the chapter explaining magic is necessary to the plot. But ahem, yea you have a good point.

Hmmm... perhaps your friends find your descriptions too heavy. They might want a flowing action narrative instead of a descriptive narrative. Perhaps you should shift your narrative to a cinematic action narrative, rather than a descriptive one.

A cinematic scene is one that is action-packed, like an action movie; the sensory effects blend with the action, and it's easy to visualise in the reader's imagination. For example:

Descriptive scene:

The boy had black hair. Dark, dim eyes. His glasses were loose. His lips were pale. His name was Harry. He raised his wand. The wand glowed brightly and emitted a fireball...

Change it into a cinematic scene:

Harry raised his wand. His glasses glinted in the wandlight. He threw the fireball forward with all his might. The ball exploded, the explosion sending his black hair flying.

This narrative writing style makes the pacing faster and more fluid. The writing also becomes neater, shorter, and more effective because it combines descriptions with action and eliminates long-winded exposition that slows down the pacing. The result is a scene that is immersive, dynamic and easy for the reader to imagine.

You can compromise without sacrificing story depth by using cinematic action narrative.

 

[Sylver]

Many times, chapter titles themselves are like a form of advertisement. I randomly went through your Act 1 chapters, saw the title "Chapter 28: A Night of Intimacy," and immediately knew that chapter is gonna see a spike in views. And what do you know? It had 1.3k views, a huge spike between ch. 27 and 29. Then I saw "Chapter 32: A Cat teaching the Wolf how to taste her Prey" and also knew it would see a jump in views. I was right again. Smut readers and their smut-ridden brains, smh...

Ah x) the titles. I will keep that in mind, I feel silly for not making that connection haha

The only thing I had in mind was maybe separate the large, chunky paragraphs into smaller ones. Can't say much about the direction and etc. But you were writing slice of life, no? Slice of life sometimes don't need a big, active plot direction.

Ohh I heard that before, thanks for the reminder! I need to break up the paragraphs to make it easier to read without too much text x)
Thank you for your comment and also for giving my story a read yea Act 1 is more slice of life hehe

I don't really give too much feedback when reading since I'm solely there to have fun and make silly comments, but it looks like you really want some feedback, so if you'd like, I can do my best to jot down some notes as I read?

No no, don't do it if you feel like you have to. I really enjoy the comments you leave on my story they bring in some humor and a lot of enjoyment. Honestly your comments have been some of my favorite in a while

Hmmm... perhaps your friends find your descriptions too heavy. They might want a flowing action narrative instead of a descriptive narrative. Perhaps you should shift your narrative to a cinematic action narrative, rather than a descriptive one.

A cinematic scene is one that is action-packed, like an action movie; the sensory effects blend with the action, and it's easy to visualise in the reader's imagination. For example:

Descriptive scene:


Change it into a cinematic scene:


This narrative writing style makes the pacing faster and more fluid. The writing also becomes neater, shorter, and more effective because it combines descriptions with action and eliminates long-winded exposition that slows down the pacing. The result is a scene that is immersive, dynamic and easy for the reader to imagine.

You can compromise without sacrificing story depth by using cinematic action narrative.

This helps, I think this might be the case. Hmm, yea I'll definitely look into it. My Act 2 follows the cinematic description like the example you shared, but maybe Act 1 feels a bit sluggish because of the descriptive scenes thanks!