Does it make me a bad person if I ghost people a lot?

[ohko]

I've sort of been thinking about this lately, but I'm very bad with staying in touch with people.

It's very common for me to spend... uh... a month or so in one community, make a bunch of friends, and then poof all of a sudden.

Sometimes, it's because I'm busy — but other times, I often end up migrating to a different community. I end up losing contact with one set of friends, and sometimes I log back and then feel guilty because I ignored them for so long. In many cases, it feels easier to just lurk, not say anything (especially on NUF), and pretend to still be MIA. To be honest, I cant really explain why I don't say "hi" after being gone for a long absence.

In either case, this pattern just feels like a perpetual cycle for me. In many circumstances, I don't talk to friends for months a time, and then my interests rotate and I'm back on NUF versus elsewhere. I kind of flip around, I think.

Although I'm never quite sure how to handle friends who are upset when I've vanished for 4 months with no good reason.

(I mean, sometimes it's as mundane as I started playing a new game).

Do you go through things like this too? How do you handle this?

 

[RepresentingCaution]

If you haven't made any commitments, you have no obligation to stay. It is a courtesy to inform people you are leaving, though.

If you're really good friends with someone, it helps to find and connect with them on multiple platforms such as Twitter, Facebook, etc. When I got kicked off Wattpad, I reached out to as many people as I could to inform them of what happened. I'm sure some people will think I ghosted, but that's OK because we weren't really that close anyway. If they truly miss my story, they can always find it elsewhere.

 

[BenJepheneT]

look, my dude. it's the internet. it's harsh when you put it to words but people didn't exactly start mourning when you vanish into the mist round these parts. they'll just sometimes ask around in interest and give you a big welcome when you come back. other than that, don't feel bad. the people you ghosted don't feel anything either.

 

[Moctemma]

Can't help because I don't go back. But I do it a lot, irl too. I haven't had a friendship that lasted more than 2 years. But my sister experienced something like that and told me not to do it.

 

[ohko]

Can't help because I don't go back. But I do it a lot, irl too. I haven't had a friendship that lasted more than 2 years. But my sister experienced something like that and told me not to do it.

Yeah, I really relate to this.

I also avoid my IRL friends. Like you know that feeling when you spot someone you know at the supermarket, and your first reaction is (omg hide!).

...Yeah... I haven't really quite figured out why am this way.

 

[AliceShiki]

You're not a bad person, you're just someone whose interests hop from certain things to other things.

Like uhn... I do get hurt when I see somebody I was close to suddenly disappear, and then I found out they were still around, but just not making themselves visible, I mean... I cared for them, and I thought the feelings of closeness were mutual.

At the same time... I have done the same in the past, and it does feel kinda taxing to keep talking in certain places when you really don't feel like it. So giving yourself the freedom to come and go with the wind is pretty sweet~

So uhn... Rather than feeling guilty for avoiding them for too long, I think it makes more sense to be happy you got close to them again after a long absence? It's how I think of it at least~

 

[weakwithwords]

"... this is the END. I am going. I am leaving NOW. GOOD-BYE!" -Bilbo

Before Iooking this up on the net, as the book was something I borrowed from the school library many years ago, I had been misremembering this as simply "This is goodbye!"

Counterpoint: "You had me at hello."

A bad ghost would be pranking people. Spooky Boogie, such a catchy name, especially how the seiyuu were pronouncing it.

There are times when I meet some whose names I cannot recall and even the context of our acquaintanceships elude me. So, yeah, being shy or wanting to hide are perfectly normal and natural reactions.

It's even more confusing online where some change their usernames screen names as frequently as clothes.

Edit: Thanks, @AliceShiki, for noting my mistake and for being the first to give me a Like.

 

[AliceShiki]

"... this is the END. I am going. I am leaving NOW. GOOD-BYE!" -Bilbo

Before Iooking this up on the net, as the book was something I borrowed from the school library many years ago, I had been misremembering this as simply "This is goodbye!"

Counterpoint: "You had me at hello."

A bad ghost would be pranking people. Spooky Boogie, such a catchy name, especially how the seiyuu were pronouncing it.

There are times when I meet some whose names I cannot recall and even the context of our acquaintanceships elude me. So, yeah, being shy or wanting to hide are perfectly normal and natural reactions.

It's even more confusing online where some change their usernames as frequently as clothes.

Changing avatars is certainly common, but... Changing usernames?

Most sites have restrictions that stop that from happening in the first place...

 

[Discount_Blade]

Nah its fine. Like the BenJ dude said, more often then not, people just shrug and assume the void-like entities of the internet got a hold of you and your gone forever, devoured by evilness so terrible it leaves no witnesses, therefore, we still have no clue what it even looks like.

Trust me, we're not feeling bad. We're all just saying prayers and thank you's to the gods that it was you they devoured and not us.

Thank you for being devoured body and soul like a nice piece of steak so I can live for many decades more. I appreciate (not really) your sacrifice bud.