Just posted a new chapter on my work please rate it from 1 to 10

[friesXD]

The forgotten Nation

Long after the world burned and the gods turned their gaze away, a forgotten nation stirs once more—bearing powers that defy the heavens themselves. Among the ruins walks Leonard, a man whispered to have slain a god, and Aira, a mortal caught in the echo of his past. As...

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[K_Nishi]

I think it would be better to start with three lines depicting the tragic suffering of people dying from a nuclear explosion.


In other words, I believe the opening needs a stronger hook.


You might be losing many readers at that point.

 

[friesXD]

I think it would be better to start with three lines depicting the tragic suffering of people dying from a nuclear explosion.


In other words, I believe the opening needs a stronger hook.


You might be losing many readers at that point.

true that is my mistake i would try to do better in the following chapters or should i just recreate the prolouge well any way thank you for giving me such vital suggestion

 

[Worthy39]

true that is my mistake i would try to do better in the following chapters or should i just recreate the prolouge well any way thank you for giving me such vital suggestion

Personally I'd redo it. Most writers improve as they write, obviously, but the problem isn't just finishing a story, it's starting one. If I'm not hooked early in a story, I'm not likely to read much.

 

[K_Nishi]

true that is my mistake i would try to do better in the following chapters or should i just recreate the prolouge well any way thank you for giving me such vital suggestion

If it were me, I would rewrite it as well.
I recommend creating an abnormal state in the reader’s mind—making them think, “What just happened? This story isn’t normal,”—and pulling them in that way.