Rant on Dialogue

[Juia_Darkcrest]

I don't mind when only two people are in a conversation, but I must say, when there are 3 or more people part of a discussion, I HATE WRITING IT.

ARGH!

okay, I've vented, please return to your regularly scheduled shenanigans

 

[FRWriter]

Why, though?

 

[RepresentingWrath]

It happens.

 

[Talon88.1]

Its useful though for improving your writing.

 

[Representing_Tromba]

Just give the 3rd character ADHD so that when a conversation happens in their presence, they wander off, get distracted with something else(preference relevant to to moving the plot further), or only pipes in to correct the other two characters flawed dialogue. If two people are talking to one person then make one the dominant speaker with more dialogue while the other speaks to add additional necessary details to the others words.

 

[Juia_Darkcrest]

Why, though?

Just making sure that you know who is speaking.

I know it is simple as using their name instead of he or she.

The other is the flow of the conversation, making sure it makes sense, and not forgetting that one of the characters is part of the discussion.

I am not just talking about two people talking while others are present, but five people in this case, all who have different input on the topic, all necessary for the story to progress. I find it exhausting to write and have it read well.

Its useful though for improving your writing.

Agreed

Just give the 3rd character ADHD so that when a conversation happens in their presence, they wander off, get distracted with something else(preference relevant to to moving the plot further), or only pipes in to correct the other two characters flawed dialogue. If two people are talking to one person then make one the dominant speaker with more dialogue while the other speaks to add additional necessary details to the others words.

useful in many situations, just not this particular one

 

[Representing_Tromba]

useful in many situations, just not this particular one

I see. What is the situation?

 

[Juia_Darkcrest]

Here;

there is swearing incase anyone cares... I just dropped it, but I probably have some errors Ill have to go back and fix

Spoiler: excerpt from DEN 39

A few minutes later they were all in the office, sitting around Brod's table. Galba and Brod on one side, the three of them on the other, Kururu sitting between John and Nanaella. The pile of papers Kururu brought on the table between them.

After a quick round of introductions, she explained everything she discovered, the odd transactions in their accounts, the late night meetings, people entering buildings but not exiting them. Galba flipped though her notes as she explained things, nodding along. Brod was sitting back, listening to her story, an impassive expression on his face.

When she finished, she sighed, a weight visibly coming off her shoulders. Nanaella had held her hand throughout the explanation, supporting the older woman in front of two powerful men. Both of them noticed this, but betrayed nothing in their expressions.

After a moment, Galba spoke up "Your investigation has unearthed a few things I haven't been able to discover yet. This... this is enough Brod. I want to confirm a few things first, but with this we can move on him now and the church won't be able to object."

"As long as you are sure, I approve. This trafficking ring has be a stain on this city for too long." Brod said, then turned to Kururu. "Miss, we will be moving on them shortly. Do you have somewhere safe to be for a few days? Coming here has likely put a target on your back."

"Well... John said I could stay here." She replied, the nervousness in her voice returning.

"Did he now." He said, looking at him. "And why would you offer that?"

John looked at him, some of his anger returning "Seriously? She is handing the slavers of both the residents of the slums and some adventurers to us on a silver platter, and you won't offer her a room and protection for the time being?"

"Its not just the time being John. Think about it. She just betrayed the head of the Healers Guild here in Meritoni and exposed the criminals in the underground, people who make a living enslaving people I might add. Yeah, we will probably get a lot of them, but there are bound to be a few people that will slip our grasp. They will be looking for revenge, and who better than the lone woman who aided in the arrest of their leaders." He said, making John now question his choices.

Fuck he is right...Fuck! I need to get stronger!

John was still trying to piece together a coherent reply, but Nanaella, still holding Kururu's hand, came to his rescue. "Well, we need a new receptionist don't we? If she is willing, I can train her in my old job."

"What?" Kururu said, still shaking from Brod's statement.

"Nothing needs to be decided today Kururu. Let's get you a room for now, and once the operation is over, we can look at your options then." John offered, glancing meaningfully at Brod.

"Right. Miss Kururu, you are welcome to stay here for as long as needed. Please, show her around Nanaella. John stay back a minute please." Brod said, back pedaling a bit, his tone changing probably due to Nanaella glaring at him.

I see. What is the situation?

see above

Here;

there is swearing incase anyone care... I just dropped it, but I probably have some errors Ill have to go back and fix

Spoiler: excerpt from DEN 39

A few minutes later they were all in the office, sitting around Brod's table. Galba and Brod on one side, the three of them on the other, Kururu sitting between John and Nanaella. The pile of papers Kururu brought on the table between them.

After a quick round of introductions, she explained everything she discovered, the odd transactions in their accounts, the late night meetings, people entering buildings but not exiting them. Galba flipped though her notes as she explained things, nodding along. Brod was sitting back, listening to her story, an impassive expression on his face.

When she finished, she sighed, a weight visibly coming off her shoulders. Nanaella had held her hand throughout the explanation, supporting the older woman in front of two powerful men. Both of them noticed this, but betrayed nothing in their expressions.

After a moment, Galba spoke up "Your investigation has unearthed a few things I haven't been able to discover yet. This... this is enough Brod. I want to confirm a few things first, but with this we can move on him now and the church won't be able to object."

"As long as you are sure, I approve. This trafficking ring has be a stain on this city for too long." Brod said, then turned to Kururu. "Miss, we will be moving on them shortly. Do you have somewhere safe to be for a few days? Coming here has likely put a target on your back."

"Well... John said I could stay here." She replied, the nervousness in her voice returning.

"Did he now." He said, looking at him. "And why would you offer that?"

John looked at him, some of his anger returning "Seriously? She is handing the slavers of both the residents of the slums and some adventurers to us on a silver platter, and you won't offer her a room and protection for the time being?"

"Its not just the time being John. Think about it. She just betrayed the head of the Healers Guild here in Meritoni and exposed the criminals in the underground, people who make a living enslaving people I might add. Yeah, we will probably get a lot of them, but there are bound to be a few people that will slip our grasp. They will be looking for revenge, and who better than the lone woman who aided in the arrest of their leaders." He said, making John now question his choices.

Fuck he is right...Fuck! I need to get stronger!

John was still trying to piece together a coherent reply, but Nanaella, still holding Kururu's hand, came to his rescue. "Well, we need a new receptionist don't we? If she is willing, I can train her in my old job."

"What?" Kururu said, still shaking from Brod's statement.

"Nothing needs to be decided today Kururu. Let's get you a room for now, and once the operation is over, we can look at your options then." John offered, glancing meaningfully at Brod.

"Right. Miss Kururu, you are welcome to stay here for as long as needed. Please, show her around Nanaella. John stay back a minute please." Brod said, back pedaling a bit, his tone changing probably due to Nanaella glaring at him.

see above

Brod = Guildmaster
Galba = Vice-Guildmaster
John = MC
Nanaella = Adventurer, John's fiancée
Kururu = Receptionist for a different guild

 

[Hoshino]

Make the third person really introverted or give them a unique speech pattern like... Desu ne or something-nya.

 

[Talon88.1]

Give them mannerisims.
One smokes, another drums his fingers.
One is bored and leaning on his arm, stuff like that to break up and differentiate them.

 

[JayMark]

Think about your character personalities: what would they say, their common phrasing and preffered automated responses, catchphrases, what they would refrain from saying, mannerisms as mentioned above, and how they would say it. Sometimes I find if my characters are different enough, I can challenge myself to remove tags and still know whose speaking from the dialogue itself.

 

[ShrimpShady]

I once wrote a chapter that was entirely dialogue between 2 characters, and when I was done, I remembered a third character was present. So I just tacked on some lines for them, and it straight up sounded like one of those videos where people insert their OCs into existing cartoon scenes

 

[Juia_Darkcrest]

I once wrote a chapter that was entirely dialogue between 2 characters, and when I was done, I remembered a third character was present. So I just tacked on some lines for them, and it straight up sounded like one of those videos where people insert their OCs into existing cartoon scenes

this was my issue here.

i actually wanted to expand on the dialogue more, but refrained due to that effect.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Hmm...

A few minutes later they were all in the office, sitting around Brod's table. Galba and Brod on one side, the three of them on the other, Kururu sitting between John and Nanaella. The pile of papers Kururu brought on the table between them.

After a quick round of introductions, she explained everything she discovered, the odd transactions in their accounts, the late night meetings, people entering buildings but not exiting them. Galba flipped though her notes as she explained things, nodding along. Brod was sitting back, listening to her story, an impassive expression on his face.

When she finished, she sighed, a weight visibly coming off her shoulders. Nanaella had held her hand throughout the explanation, supporting the older woman in front of two powerful men. Both of them noticed this, but betrayed nothing in their expressions.

After a moment, Galba spoke up "Your investigation has unearthed a few things I haven't been able to discover yet. This... this is enough Brod. I want to confirm a few things first, but with this we can move on him now and the church won't be able to object."

"As long as you are sure, I approve. This trafficking ring has be a stain on this city for too long." Brod said, then turned to Kururu. "Miss, we will be moving on them shortly. Do you have somewhere safe to be for a few days? Coming here has likely put a target on your back."

"Well... John said I could stay here." She replied, the nervousness in her voice returning.

Good and clear until this point.

"Did he now." He said, looking at him. "And why would you offer that?"

If I understand this correctly, it should be:

"Did he now?" Brod asked, and then turned to give John a quizzical look. "And why would you offer that?"

If I DON'T understand it correctly, it needs to be rewritten for clarity.

John looked at him, some of his anger returning "Seriously? She is handing the slavers of both the residents of the slums and some adventurers to us on a silver platter, and you won't offer her a room and protection for the time being?"

This is is a bit awkward but it seems to fit the character's anger and is clear, and can probably stay like this.

"Its not just the time being John. Think about it. She just betrayed the head of the Healers Guild here in Meritoni and exposed the criminals in the underground, people who make a living enslaving people I might add. Yeah, we will probably get a lot of them, but there are bound to be a few people that will slip our grasp. They will be looking for revenge, and who better than the lone woman who aided in the arrest of their leaders." He said, making John now question his choices.

Fuck he is right...Fuck! I need to get stronger!

For the part in bold, I would suggest prefacing the speech with:

Brody cut him off and replied: [what he said, ending at the quotation mark.]

Followed by a new paragraph with:

John suddenly found himself questioning his choices, and thinking [part in italics]

And then this is fine except for a few too many uses of "said":

While John was trying to piece together a coherent reply, Nanaella - still holding Kururu's hand - came to his rescue: "Well, we need a new receptionist, don't we? If she is willing, I can train her in my old job."

"What?" Kururu said, still shaking from Brod's statement.

"Nothing needs to be decided today Kururu. Let's get you a room for now, and once the operation is over, we can look at your options then." John offered, glancing meaningfully at Brod.

"Right. Miss Kururu, you are welcome to stay here for as long as needed. Please, show her around, Nanaella. John stay back a minute please." Brod said, back pedaling a bit, his tone changing probably due to Nanaella glaring at him.

Would suggest "Kururu nervously replied," and ending with:

Brod paused before replying, and then, his tone likely changing due to Nanaella's persistent glare, stated: [listed quote]

 

[LightHikari]

I've gotten much better at it, but I felt that. Also, is it even called dialogue with three people? Shouldn't it be a trialogue? I learned something wild the other day that I can't forget. A duel with 3 people is a truel.

 

[LuoirM]

I deal with this by making them do something that warrants a narration before they chimes in, it's not good but it works at times.

Spoiler: one snippet

Before Marc could answer, we heard faint snarkling from behind, only then did I noticed that Rina had been walking behind us the entire time, eavesdropping… Though not really eavesdropping since it was a public conversation.


"You two are so cute together." She said, two indexes pointing at the two of us.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

I've gotten much better at it, but I felt that. Also, is it even called dialogue with three people? Shouldn't it be a trialogue? I learned something wild the other day that I can't forget. A duel with 3 people is a truel.

I am 80% certain that any conversation with multiple participants is a dialogue - with only one it is a monologue. Never heard of a "truel" before (and neither has my spell checker); I've always heard one person = practice. Two = duel. More than two = melee.

 

[LightHikari]

I am 80% certain that any conversation with multiple participants is a dialogue - with only one it is a monologue. Never heard of a "truel" before (and neither has my spell checker); I've always heard one person = practice. Two = duel. More than two = melee.

A truel is real. Not sure about trialogue. I just found it to be funny.