Depends on what you consider to be my first attempt at writing. Do you mean the very first book I ever tried to write when I was seven years old? It was called
Terry Traxter and the Secret of the Dragon's Nose. I was obsessed with Harry Potter, but my parents were firmly in the "Harry Potter is satanic" camp back then (ironic, since now my mom's obsessed with it) so the only exposure I had to it were the movie commercials that came on TV. It was just me trying to make my own Harry Potter since it was all anyone at school was talking about, except it wouldn't have any of the stuff that my parents said made Harry Potter evil. They still did magic, but they weren't wizards and witches, they were magicians. Terry went to a
magician school called Smog Smorts (no, I'm not kidding). He had a star-shaped scar on his forehead for absolutely no reason. One day his friend told him a story about an evil dragon with an all powerful wand stuck in its nose who killed people with star-shaped scars (again, for no reason) so Terry naturally decided to set out and find the dragon. He went into the forbidden forest and immediately fought a rock troll. Then he joined entered a tournament, straight up murdered a dude, and won a magic sword. Then a giant snake came out of nowhere, I realized writing a book was really hard, and stopped.
It was absolutely terrible, but am I embarrassed by it? No. I was seven years old, and seven year olds are stupid. Now I'm just a stupid guy in his thirties.
If you mean the first book I ever seriously wrote and finished, that would be
North Pole: Chosen One. It was a story about an orphan teenager who gets
kidnapped adopted by Santa Claus and taken to the North Pole, where they find out he's the Chosen One destined to pull a magic sword out of a stone and defeat the Winter Warlock and his goblin army. I think I was sixteen when I wrote that, so I was right in the middle of my edgy teenage phase, which meant that this was a Christmas story with violence, gore, and angst, angst, angst. It was the first book I ever finished, and I even tried to submit it to a literary agent. I got a rejection that same exact day.
Am I embarrassed by that one? Not really. The fact that I've grown up and
would never write something like that today is good enough for me.