First of all, and as has been said, the first chapter has the start and finish in Spanish. And, as a Spanish speaker, I can also point is a poorly written Spanish. No many gramatical errors, I guess because the text editor corrected them, but in the senses it looks like: a poorly translated text from English to Spanish, or maybe the text of someone that uses to read in English more that in Spanish, or even someone for which Spanish and English are at the same level.
Beside that, the story is... And I'm sorry for being so direct, very cliché. Car accident? ?
Most of the first chapter could be totally forgotten, with some details added in the rest of It, or in the second. For example, the thing about learning to dice. You could just said It when he was already drowning, like he tried to rememeber his lessons, but in the panic he couldn't, etc.
Also, the order to notice things while he is rescues is... Odd. The narration is first person, so he notices how he feels, but then he doesn't notices his body doesn't feels or looks the same. Alse, It takes him a lot to notice the man that saved him is an orc. Unless he got his eyes closed the entire time, he must have seen the guy is green, at the very least. Then, he notices the ocean and the port before his own body, or the nearest beach where he is. If I could say how to change this part, I would say: He notices his body feels fine, still with salty water in his eyes, but also different. Lighter, maybe, without the heavyness of a sedentary underfeeded 30 yo body he had. he's confused, too, rememebering he died, and yet he's there. Then, when he can open his eyes, notices two things simultaneosly (think about how you would see your own body in that circunstance). First, his body is, in fact, different. Two, he's caried bride style by a green man. An orc, which makes his heart spike with fear for a seconds, until the orc looks at him with confusión and asks him if he's fine. Then, with the orc still nearing the end of the water, the narrator looks around. First notices the nearest beach, thats unifamiliar. And then, notices the rest. The forest, the bell tower, and the port. A medieval port, by all the looks. With the bluest sky he has ever seen. And the realization hits him. There's no tech. Forget smartphones, because I don't think he's so near to see that. There's a lot of things that reveal modern world in a port in a place like USA. There are no motor boats, no jetskies, no music coming out from some phone or speaker, no light posts, no pubs, not a guy with a surf table... The people in the port is there to work, not some tourists looking for the best place for a selfie. (Also, they are all humans? Only orcs? Do they work together, or are orcs the parallel of Black slaves in your world? Use this to talk about the world).
Then, when the Butler comes... I think there is too much anime and very little book in this. For starters, how did they know. Was there someone with the orc that got the word to the manor? Or someone in the port saw what happened? (If so, and the Young Lord was drowning, wouldn't the people be more worried for that?)
Then, the attitude of the main characters is... Strange. He didn't act too snoby with the orc, but when the butler who though he drowned caried on him, he was annoyed because he was getting him dirt. He's still wet, so not only his attitude doesn't make sense, also is the fact that he can get much dirtier, really. He maybe confused, or even annoyed because he doesn't know what to do with someone crying on him, but unless he rememeber the person he's now is snoby, I things is a little out of place. And like I said, the fact that the butler doesn't even use some napkin or something to clean himself is just... Too anime.
Then, the narrator changes completely without explanation. Until then the main characters talked in first person, telling us the story like he was our friend. And the it just... Follows the orc. Without pause, without a change of scene... I would recommend that part to be a third chapter. And use it not only to tell is the orc gets wasted (sigh, again a cliché), but also about the world. It's an orc bar? A mixed race bar? Is It in the orc side of town (apartheid style) or the bussinesses can mix? Do the population use to go there after world, or only the orc? Etc. Let us know a little about the racial and socioeconomic situation of the world.
Ok... i'm sorry if all of this is a bit rude. I can't talk too much about the story, because when are only two chapter in, but I think no matter how good the story is from now on, if you can't tell it correctly and in the best way possible, it won't matter.
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