yeah sounds fun. Sorry for the short reply too I’m just in my phone here.
https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1543202/cameron-to-candy/
(Just a heads up. This is all first-thought feedback. I just finished reading the first three chapters of your story. I hope it's helpful! I'm also happy to write a review, but I'd probably want to take a bit more time to write that in a more structured way.)
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First up, the world feels big and lived-in right away. The poetic, fable-tone is lovely, and something I also like to employ in my own writing. I especially like the little details, like new names for months of the year—Snowsash—and lots of establishing of social order through organisations like the Ministry of Male Virtue and the Women’s Tattoo Guild, and the Courts of Gender and Discipline. It helped ground the world, and made me curious to read on and discover what each thing was.
I wasn't sure if the technology presented in story was entirely magic-dependent, or if this was a technologically enlightened medievalism—heated benches, compliance collars, and glowing tablets. As I kept reading, I felt more like this was less a medieval setting, and more just a pre-industrial setting with magic technology? Not sure if you have an exact historical parallel timeline you're working off, but the way the society is described and the architecture, education and clothing was giving more of an 18th or 19th century vibe. Though, it could probably still fit into late-stage medievalism.
"No one really knew why the laws were so strict, so detailed, but then, no one dared question them either. At least, not out loud." — interesting... ?
I found it interesting that the court got to decide his new name? 'Candy' is pretty arbitrary, just because it sounds sort of similar to Cameron? But Cameron is a unisex name anyway. Do unisex names not exist in this world, or are naming conventions different?
The pronouns were a little confusing, especially by chapter two. I understand other people would start using "she/her" to refer to him, but his own sense of self wouldn't flip so quickly? Or is this supposed to be a hint that his gender identity might not have been entirely CIS before now, either? I would certainly be resistent to any inclinations toward trans-ing my gender if I knew for sure it'd come with oppressive new rules and a loss of personal freedom. I'll keep using he/him pronouns for your MC for now, just for consistency.
Interesting how there was no wedding, just
boom! husband acquired.
The segment about bras was interesting. Even as a girl, I find bras annoying and ultimately unnecessary a lot of the time. When I met a friend who was a size H cup, it was illuminating to learn it's definitely not optional for some people. Back pain is so fr. That said, you mention in the next chapter (chapter three) that corsets are also worn? Corsets are often more comfortable than bras, unless they're made for tight-lacing or waist-training purposes. But if its really hot weather out, a bra would be better.
As he's lamenting the wardrobe changes, I'm at this point getting curious about whether or not this is a worldwide societal structuring? Are there less traditional countries/continents elsewhere? I'm curious about underground resistances or what queer men and women do? What about nonbinary folks, do they have a place in society?
Oh! Also, if it was a magical spell (or procedure?) that made his body look different, could he not also learn magic and try to undo it himself? Is magic a restricted tool? Is it only taught, or can it be intuitive?
Reading through the "Guide to Obedience" book excerpts throughout, I noticed a few potential areas for rebellion through 'malicious compliance'. A lot of the rules seem to be contingent on adherance in a manner that pleases the husband. So, there must be at least a bit of wiggle room depending on what that means per individual? It wouldn’t work for everything, but there seem to be a few areas where I think he could get away with things so long as Marcus said it was in line with his preferences. Like, hair length and some aspects of dress? Idk, feels like that's where my mind would go if it was me.
(if you'd prefer I respond privately, I can delete this and DM it to you instead)
I'm down for a review swap, too!
I'm a new author here, too.
My book is a grimdark tragedy set in a high fantasy world.
If you drop a link, I'm willing to check it out?
But I will say grimdark can be a bit too depressing for me, depending on how its played out. If I feel it's too much tragedy for me to continue, I'll let you know though.
EDIT: I don’t know why my replies to two different people were merged into one? I tried to fix it but it just happened again automatically. (T_T)
