I need the most brutally honest feedback.

[MsChange]

It’s a free planet so feel free to be brutal critics for my first book Stained. If you enjoy the story, add it to your library and follow to stay updated! Your support is my fuel. Just knowing that my book put a smile on your face gives me purpose :)

 

[Tempokai]

First, writing down that it's based on your real life makes any feedback about storytelling an attack on you. Second, you either asked The ButlerGPT to fix your sentences or used him to generate the words and then you edited it. Declarative short sentences, usual ebb and flow of efficient sentencing, usual LLM word usage patterns breaks your credibility without even touching what's inside of the stories. I don't know why you're asking for a feedback if you're writing something deeply personal to you, there's a diary or therapy or ChatGPT box for that. Meh.

 

[MsChange]

First, writing down that it's based on your real life makes any feedback about storytelling an attack on you. Second, you either asked The ButlerGPT to fix your sentences or used him to generate the words and then you edited it. Declarative short sentences, usual ebb and flow of efficient sentencing, usual LLM word usage patterns breaks your credibility without even touching what's inside of the stories. I don't know why you're asking for a feedback if you're writing something deeply personal to you, there's a diary or therapy or ChatGPT box for that. Meh.

I really appreciate your feedback! What I do is I write the whole chapter myself then ask chatGPT to fix my grammar and spelling since I’m no professional in that. It’s like free Grammarly haha! I’m sharing my personal story because what I’ve been through might be something others experienced too. Only people who experience are the ones who truly feel, so if my book makes anyone feel less alone, if it gets a laugh out of someone, then I would be thrilled that I fulfilled my purpose. I’ll take your words into account, thanks for lending some time to share your thoughts :)

 

[LeilaniOtter]

I really appreciate your feedback! What I do is I write the whole chapter myself then ask chatGPT to fix my grammar and spelling since I’m no professional in that. It’s like free Grammarly haha! I’m sharing my personal story because what I’ve been through might be something others experienced too. Only people who experience are the ones who truly feel, so if my book makes anyone feel less alone, if it gets a laugh out of someone, then I would be thrilled that I fulfilled my purpose. I’ll take your words into account, thanks for lending some time to share your thoughts :)

Actually, Grammarly is very effective and doesn't re-write and add a lot of useless drivel like AI would do. *^^* If you're a serious writer, get Grammarly. It's cheap, effective, and a must-have tool.

I took a look at your work so far. I'm not really a fan of broken up sentences like this, BUT, since the character is six years old, it makes a lot of sense that you would write this way - except for one small problem: if the character is six years old, the vocabulary seems quite advanced for six, do you agree? Or is there an adult inside this six year old's body...? ?

 

[MsChange]

Actually, Grammarly is very effective and doesn't re-write and add a lot of useless drivel like AI would do. *^^* If you're a serious writer, get Grammarly. It's cheap, effective, and a must-have tool.

I took a look at your work so far. I'm not really a fan of broken up sentences like this, BUT, since the character is six years old, it makes a lot of sense that you would write this way - except for one small problem: if the character is six years old, the vocabulary seems quite advanced for six, do you agree? Or is there an adult inside this six year old's body...? ?

Haha you have a point with the six year old part! I wanted the irony between her age and tone. It’s just a humorous twist. I’ll consider Grammarly. Thank you so much for your feedback!

 

[LeilaniOtter]

Haha you have a point with the six year old part! I wanted the irony between her age and tone. It’s just a humorous twist. I’ll consider Grammarly. Thank you so much for your feedback!

I mean, it's 100% fine if you want to go that route, I'm just saying a six year old would have a very limited vocabulary. If your child doesn't, that;s fine, and it does add some humor. A bit like Stewie from Family Guy, for example. ?

 

[melchi]

So many em-dashes.....

Inconsistent tense.

It jumps from present and past.

To quote my favorite reviewer: "Back to basics."

 

[MsChange]

So many em-dashes.....

Inconsistent tense.

It jumps from present and past.

To quote my favorite reviewer: "Back to basics."

I didn’t even notice the tense part! Thank you so much for pointing that out :)

 

[Eldoria]

The title is too abstract. The synopsis makes my head spin. The cover is too monotonous.

You need to fix these three things first: create a catchy title that readers can immediately imagine.

Then, create a synopsis that intrigues readers with the "premise" of your novel—usually something unique your novel offers readers.

The cover should feature a visually pleasing (not sexual) protagonist, usually in the form of a 2D anime character (waifu). You can use ChatGPT to help create an elegant cover.

 

[MsChange]

The title is too abstract. The synopsis makes my head spin. The cover is too monotonous.

You need to fix these three things first: create a catchy title that readers can immediately imagine.

Then, create a synopsis that intrigues readers with the "premise" of your novel—usually something unique your novel offers readers.

The cover should feature a visually pleasing (not sexual) protagonist, usually in the form of a 2D anime character (waifu). You can use ChatGPT to help create an elegant cover.

I really appreciate your feedback! I’ll take it into account.