I’m ready to get rekt tbh
Fell from the Crow’s Nest is a grand Age of Sail adventure that follows the hodgepodge crew of the pirate ship Kalida as it sails across Thulathiun: a priest who tried to escape oppression only to be saved from certain death by becoming a pirate, a doctor seeking freedom...
www.scribblehub.com
NB: I don’t even use stuff like grammarly so no butlers in sight if it reads like that it’s just my writing being bad ?
To be fair, I don't know why you even wanted a roast. I hate blatant Western propaganda more than LLMs. At least LLMs are consistent and don't want to call anyone bigot, nazi, incel or [insert whatever leftist buzzword here] just by not supporting their political beliefs at least once. The synopsis is already says what I need to know, "don't read it unless you're exactly like me and support the institutional cathedral I'm aligned to". I read chapter 1 afterwards, and regretted it. Sheer, blatant focus on sexual identity=power, while not even trying to hide it behind the thematic or as a consequence of the plot makes it blatantly unpersuasive for those who are outside of the tribe, specifically designed to make the calls that only the tribe can understand. For example, "zir", "transmorph", and fixation on sexual characteristics, instead of, you know, showing how characters are interesting besides being what you, author chose them to be.
Propaganda fiction worldbuilding often works by first, creating a fictional “mirror world” where existing beliefs are taken to extremes and second, inviting the "tribe" and few fence sitters to feel morally superior for rejecting that world. Your synopsis has exactly that, a culture where gender and class are biologically determined, a government that brutally suppresses deviation, and a protagonist who is biologically, politically, and spiritually heretical. Gee, if only we could figure out what that might be a stand-in for right? It’s propaganda alright, by creating a world structured specifically to punish
the Other, you want readers not just to sympathize, but to morally commit to the MC’s cause.
That leads me to MC. That character has a blatant Martyrdom Syndrome, where everything happening to... "that" is just a propaganda classic. The classic is to reduce the pain the MC has to the purest form of injustice, so there’s no ambiguity, so the people need to follow the MC because "world bad". The worst you could accuse her of is “having too much faith in a broken world,” and frankly, even
Jesus Freaking Christ would find that trope a bit on the nose. Propaganda fiction loves this sort of protagonist. Not relatable, not dynamic, just
justified in their future actions. As Machiavelli before, and Marxists afterwards said, "the end justify the means", and in that chapter you justified the end by putting that character so perfectly martyred, so unjustly hurt by the world, so... blatantly obvious, that I applaud to that university professor #634 who gave you the propaganda lectures.
That leads to overall villains and allies, and they're propaganda-coded too. Villains are usual priests, institutional powers, imperials, boring. That's blatant leftist Western thought baddies. Hell, they're not that even badly evil, just
efficiently evil, and that's worse. It shows that the world as is is working, and even when they're
deliberately ignorant, and
systematically dehumanizing, their intentions are seen, to preserve the order of their society. The allies are misfits, not in power preaching equality pirates, and that's blatant "misunderstood anti-establishment utopia" theme modern Western propaganda loves to take. That’s basically propaganda kink those propagandist love, threaten domination first, see the MC being
EXACTLY THE SAME AS THEY ARE, then deliver liberation. First show "bad world", then "good world" by quartermaster, where everything is queer-coded (whatever that means, you people always change the definition of it), which is basically an aspirational archetype, make the MC choose new life, and voila, you have the basic propaganda plot.
And then, to further make it obviously propaganda, MC has two choices, be peaceful in monastery or go fight the Big Bad World, and you as an author give a choice that was already predetermined from the start, which is radicalization. Of course fighting, of course use pathos to create emotional momentum to propel the justification to make the Empire fall, of course.
That makes me believe that you wrote this out of anger, out of hatred, and out of consuming too much radical propaganda that you needed it to to funnel somewhere, and this was you choice, into words. Seeing that it wasn't updated for few months already, you either released that pent-up anger and then simply hadn't no energy to continue forward, or it went to a long shelf to planning, to maximize that propagandist value. Either way, you do you.
As I said, I don't know why you had written a post here, in my roasting thread. As far as I understand, if you people see someone disagreeing with you, you go with the blatant buzzword names, trying to slander and depose people from power. Even when that critique is actionable, you rather hide and try again instead of actually improving as actual people with empathy. I don't even live in West, and when I see that people like you writing stuff like these, I don't see those people as people, I see talking points disguised as people.
The most popular non-binary stories in this website at least don't shove this BS into your face. Those MCs, in their stories feel like real people, who don't know who they are and are making a new identity from what they have. It's personal for them, and it makes the experience better, because it's all about the things they want to know and understand, in their terms. What you have, is dividing, morally grandstanding, "join us or you are bigot" type of rhetoric. That rhetoric, compared to the "join me to see me become what I think I am" is radical and dishonest enough that I don't see the value, compared to those non-binary webnovels that are in trending.
That's why blatant propaganda is worse than LLMs. It is all about intent. LLMs don't have one, and if it makes propaganda, it just doesn't know it is making one. Your intent, however, as far as I can read into subtext with this webnovel, is to affirm allegiance with the tribe, and then try to collect outrage and affirmation in BlueSky, Mastodon, or whatever because some random bloke from Central Asia wrote mean stuff about you. Perfect outrage machine, if I ever saw one. If you don't like heat in this roast, don't answer, don't reply, and just move on. Don't write blatant propaganda.
