Looking for Feedback on My Dark Reincarnation Novel – “Formless Vessel: Bound to Death”

[PAINBOT]

Hey fellow readers and writers,


I've just begun releasing my new novel "Formless Vessel: Bound to Death" – a dark, psychological reincarnation story with a twist-heavy, emotionally loaded plot. It's inspired by works like Reverend Insanity, Solo Leveling, and Made in Abyss, but I’ve worked hard to make the world and systems unique, brutal, and mysterious.

A nameless protagonist dies every year, only to reincarnate into a different species in a new world each time. Hunted by a faceless entity and cast away by the cosmic Warden, he's trapped in an eternal loop, all while trying to return to the one person he once failed—his paralyzed mother on Earth.
The story blends existential horror, mystical systems, and psychological suffering with world-hopping fantasy.


> World 1 (currently releasing):
A Western-fantasy world ruled by a Mana Vein caste system, where forbidden Blood Mana corrupts the land. The MC is born into a village of exiled nobles—but tragedy, bandit wars, and ancient powers lead to his death... and rebirth.

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I'm looking for:

• Honest feedback on writing, pacing, and atmosphere
• How immersive the world/system feels
• Emotional depth and horror effectiveness
• Any confusing or underdeveloped elements

If you're into dark isekai, cosmic mystery, and characters shaped by suffering, please give it a read and let me know your thoughts. I’m constantly improving and would really appreciate input.


Here’s the link: https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1640449/formless-vessel-bound-to-death/


Thanks in advance, and I’ll gladly return feedback on your works too!

 

[CharlesEBrown]

The character being nameless and the villain faceless may work against you but does make it sound, at least, ambitious.

 

[PAINBOT]

The character being nameless and the villain faceless may work against you but does make it sound, at least, ambitious.

Thanks for the feedback — I really appreciate you pointing that out.

The choice to keep the protagonist nameless and the villain faceless is definitely intentional and symbolic. I wanted to reflect the theme of identity loss and existential erasure that runs through the entire story. The MC has no name because he’s been stripped of self, thrown into a cycle where he doesn’t belong — a “formless vessel” trying to reclaim meaning in worlds that forget him. The faceless villain represents that same void — an unknowable force that hunts him, maybe even reflects parts of him.

That said, I agree it’s risky — and I’m keeping a close eye on how it affects reader immersion. But I’m glad it came off as ambitious rather than confusing. Appreciate the honesty, and thanks for reading!