Writing Get your story read! How to write a good blurb: Lessons with Dr Shoemilk (Will help you with blurb)

[Shoemilk]

Osu!
Good morning, class! It’s time for a lesson with your favorite teacher, shoemilk-sensei*†!
*Who?
†no longer a real sensei, just a salaryman.

We’re going to learn how to recognize one of the hardest things to do when writing a book: Number three, The Blurb.

What is a blurb?
It’s a 100~200-word SALES PITCH for your book.​

I know some of you might have missed it as I only bolded, italicised‡, underlined, and capitalized‡ it, so it gets lost in there, but a blurb is a sales pitch.
‡Did you just…use both a British spelling and American spelling in the same sentence?
Oh! You’re observant! I bet you noticed „sales pitch”! This is going to be easy!

A blurb is important because it gets people to read your book! Think of it this way. Your cover is the flashy lure bobbing in the sea, waiting for that big yellow tail reader to snap on. But that yellow tail is cautious. Wait for it…wait for it…Oh! We got a bite! And… damn, it got away because your blurb was a synopsis. There was no hook, and now that Yellow Tail is off reading some story by some rando. That story’s probably not as good as yours, but I bet the author of that one likes him some nice yellow tail sashimi. Pass the shoyu. Domo!

So, you’re telling me a blurb isn’t a synopsis?
NO! It’s not a synopsis!

What’s the difference?
A synopsis synopsisizes your story. It’s what you send to publishers and the Cliff Notes§ of your story. We want people to read your story, not cheat on their high school English paper for it.
§Are Cliff Notes still a thing? Is this something else AI is going to kill? First it comes for my writing job, then John Connor, now Cliff Notes? WHEN DOES IT END?!

So, if a synopsis synopsisizes your story, a blurb is a sales pitch for it. I know some of you reading this might say, “Shoemilk-sensei, we know that! You already said that!” And I say, 「It bears (bares?) repeating.」

Now that we’ve covered what a blurb is and isn’t, let's get into the weeds, find a tick, and get Lyme disease and discuss some things that should be left on the cutting room floor.
The first thing that needs to go is any world-specific terms. DO NOT USE THEM! They belong in your synopsis. World-specific terms are as sharp as something dull. You choose the funniest dull thing for me and substitute it in your mind. Done laughing? Good. Carrying on.

Shoemilk-sensei! I’ve got this really cool thing in my story called the Microtetonic Molectacistic Ventroniator! Do I get to put that in my blurb?
Hey! I didn’t call on you! And no. You can put it in your story, but if that is anywhere near your blurb, well, so long and thanks for all the fish.

Oi! I just clicked on that link, and you’re full of it! You’ve got a world-specific term in there!
It names an antagonist. If, instead of using a Greek-American composer and pianist known for his instrumental, contemporary new-age music, as the name and say I used a long-haired American saxophonist famous for his smooth jazz style, it’s still just a name.

But what about my Microtetonic Molectacistic Ventroniator?!
Yanni and Kenny G ate it, sorry.

So, those of you who clicked the link to my that rando’s story, did you notice me them going on about country this, country that? No. There’s the MC’s name, the name of the school he goes to, and the composer of Santorini (less an “n”).

How about magical system this or magical system that? Nope. (Objectively, the most famous “magic” in popular culture is the Force. Go watch the trailer for A New Hope from 1977. The only mention of the Force is: “May the Force be with you.”)

Why are world-specific terms bad?
They’re like golf courses and cemeteries, the biggest waste of real estate space. And I should know, I just bought land next to the Great Wall of China, on the GOOD side. Scroll back up to the top. A little bit more… now, find the bolded, italicised, underlined, and capitalized word and look at the compound modifier before it. What does that say? Yeah, it says 100~200 words. You don’t want to waste precious words explaining some term that nobody cares about. You may care, but let me promise you, Joe Bob don’t.

Okay, let’s recap. A blurb is a sales pitch. 100~200 words. No world-specific terms. We green?

Next, let’s look at a marketing term. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ huh? Sorry, bored myself to sleep there. Where was I? Oh, yeah. A “call-to-action”. This is an absolute MUST for your blurb. This is the barb on your fishhook. Without a call-to-action, your blurb is just a bent needle. It can be stabby, but lots of fish are going to wind up over here, and there’s only two gender-neutral dudes who are going to be happy then (me some rando and the dude clicking on the link, reading that great story).

What is a call-to-action?
It’s something that piques the interest of the person reading it.​

It’s one of those things that make you go hmmm…Robi-Rob, break it down. Robi-Rob? Hello? Oh, guess he’s not here.

Now, the most common mistake people make in a call-to-action is the binary fallacy.
Is this the end for our intrepid hero and his plucky group of underdogs?
Yes. Alas, poor intrepid hero, for we knew you well.

Yes/no questions are NOT call-to-action!

But shoe-sensei, *ahem*, shoemilk-sensei, why not?
Because they are not engaging. The reader doesn’t have to think deeply about it. They can just poor-yorick your MC and move on. Call-to-action is open-ended! Learn these six “W” words:
Who
What
When
Why
Where
How

You might have heard of them before; they’re called “the seven holy words of getting paid. Ka-ching.” If your call-to-action doesn’t have one of those words in it, you don’t have a call-to-action, you’ve got a call-to-oh! Look over there!

• sales pitch.
• 100~200 words.
• No world-specific terms.
• Call-to-action

Now that we’ve got the musts out of the way, let's get further into this. Let’s go looking for billionaire bits on the bottom of the ocean and the finer details of how to write a blurb.

Sales pitches are hard. There’s a reason Don Draper makes the big bucks. Lots of practice and studying can only get you so far, and when you give up, you can just go write a poorly disguised ad for your story as an advice post on how to write a blurb.

So, what works for me is I boil my story down to its simplest element. I’m talking even simpler than that light novel title for that LN you’re reading, but too ashamed to admit.

What makes your story special? ​

That’s what you need to get to the heart of.

The working title for my story was “I’m a foreign exchange teacher who was sent to work at a school that routinely kills its students. What is the hell hole?” I mean, that’s what that rando told me his working title was. (or her, randos can be either. They even. Anyone can be a rando.)

Once you have the single-sentence heart of your story, you are ready to fluff some pillows and expand it out. Did anyone read The Expanse? Good stuff. Kind of indie. I think they only made a TV series based on it. Movie or nothing, am I right?

When expanding, there are three elements that you need to use. The primary colors of expanding, if you will. Since writing is an art, we’re going with the traditional three:

Red: Red is the color of love and passion. That’s your MC. You need to give details about your MC. Give the reader a reason to care about them. If it’s something that could be the answer to a 90s chatroom three-letter question: A/S/L, that’s not going to make people care. You know that whole “show don’t tell” advice for writing? Yeah, still happens here. And you get to do it in a succinct 100 words! Yay!

Blue: Like the sky. A location. You need to give some sort of idea of the world without getting overly specific. Just a bit of flavoring. You know? A setting. That way, you don’t get people asking where the horses are when your story is set in space (that’s a Notting Hill reference, y’all. Best romcom ever made. Proven facts).

Yellow (okay, fine or green): Green like the plot of land. But blue is location, so delete the land, and that leaves us with plot. You gotta tease with the plot. Strip it down and show it off. Don’t be afraid of a nip-slip. A little spoiler here or there won’t ruin it for anyone. It’s kind of hard to spoil something that never gets read.

The hardest one of these is the red one. Sometimes, you can go infrared, and no one can see who the character is. You gotta be sure to bring them up to the visible spectrum. Spend the most time on this. The least important is blue, and you should spend the least amount of time on it.

I think that’s about all the time we have for class today. So, to recap, here are Shoemilk’s Guidelines to Good Blurbs:

• sales pitch.
• 100~200 words.
• No world-specific terms.
• Call-to-action
• Red, Blue, Green

Shoemilk-sensei! I have a question! You don’t say anything about a tagline.
That’s not a question, and I didn’t say anything about it because, while they can be a nice addition to a sales pitch, they aren’t required for it. They’re like a nice fluffy bonus. If you do your call-to-action correctly, taglines become superfluous.

Okay, last, I’ll go into a breakdown of my favoritest blurb:

It's a tale as old as time: Boy meets girl, girl meets boy. Girl kills boy. Then girl kills boy again, and again, and again. For Ivan, the VRMMO "Alphablade" is just a game, but for the NPC Cara Vacher, it's her harsh reality. Where her mortality is absolute, Ivan's revival is relentless (just like his persistence). Invasive players have turned in-game characters like Cara into second-class citizens. Her world is their guilt and consequence-free playground. She would have hated Ivan even if she'd never met him.

Cara doesn't care about whatever quest he has that involves her. She just wants to be left alone. So how could the personification of everything she hates in her world come to be the only shining light in it?


> It's a tale as old as time: Boy meets girl, girl meets boy. Girl kills boy. Then girl kills boy again, and again, and again.

You could call this my tag line, but it’s a blend of red and yellow. It sets the genre and plot (romance) while giving insights into the FL (she doesn’t like the ML). Female Lead and Male Lead for those of you who don’t read romantasy manhwa.

> For Ivan, the VRMMO "Alphablade" is just a game, but for the NPC Cara Vacher, it's her harsh reality.

Aaaaaand, we’re done with blue. This one line introduces the ML, the FL, and the setting location.

> Where her mortality is absolute, Ivan's revival is relentless (just like his persistence).

This gives insight into the opening line about killing him over and over for plot reveals. It also provides an opportunity for additional characterization. (I tell you he’s persistent, but what I’m also showing you is that he annoys her, so she keeps killing him)

> Invasive players have turned in-game characters like Cara into second-class citizens.

Again, I try to use a plot detail to show about the FML’s character. She’s a downtrodden NPC.

> Her world is their guilt and consequence-free playground.

Expanding on that plot point

> She would have hated Ivan even if she'd never met him.

OMG! Enemies to Lovers! My FAVORITE romance trope.

> Cara doesn't care about whatever quest he has that involves her.

Heavy focus on Cara shows that she is the MC. This story will be told through her PoV mainly. She doesn’t care about the plot point.

> She just wants to be left alone.

A bit more about Cara, setting up the final call-to-action

> So how could the personification of everything she hates in her world come to be the only shining light in it?

I invite the reader of this blurb to think about the two Leads and what could happen that would cause them to go from enemies to lovers.


Each and every word of your blurb needs to count. Wishy-washy things like “however” or “on the other hand” are water in your coffee. Get them gone!


Thanks for following and favoriting me!

As a reward, I will be testing the first 15 people who dump their homework on me. I’ll grade you and pull out my mighty red pen and see how your blurb does!

 

[Arch_WRATHFUL]

So could you check this out? it's more of a synopsis than a blurb but seems to work meh decent for me but I still want to geet more readers so TEACH ME SENSEI!

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Technically, unless the definition has shifted since I read about them in the 90s, a blurb is a comment made by an alleged authority used IN the sales pitch - both on marketing materials and the book jacket or back cover, and some books also have pages of them before the credits page.

Some of my favorites are on the back cover of Monty Python's Cocurricular Mediaeval Reenactment Programme

• from Terry Gilliam "Will you please stop asking me for a blurb for the back cover of a role-playing game?"
• John Cleese: "How much are we getting paid for this?"
• Michael Palin: "Paid for what? This blurb?"
• Eric Idle "He means this book. Or game. Or whatever this is. It better be a lot."
• Another from Gilliam "What's a lot?"
• Another from Palin: "He's just having a Spamalot moment."
• and posthumous blurbs from both Graham Chapman and Terry Jones: "Groan"

Don't remember if it was Leonard Elmore who wrote the same blurb every time he was asked to (whether he read the book or not!), or if he was the one someone else did this to and was "caught" but there was an (in)famous story about him and blurbs back then.

 

[LiteraryWho]

Osu!
Good morning, class! It’s time for a lesson with your favorite teacher, shoemilk-sensei*†!
*Who?
†no longer a real sensei, just a salaryman.

We’re going to learn how to recognize one of the hardest things to do when writing a book: Number three, The Blurb.

What is a blurb?
It’s a 100~200-word SALES PITCH for your book.​

I know some of you might have missed it as I only bolded, italicised‡, underlined, and capitalized‡ it, so it gets lost in there, but a blurb is a sales pitch.
‡Did you just…use both a British spelling and American spelling in the same sentence?
Oh! You’re observant! I bet you noticed „sales pitch”! This is going to be easy!

A blurb is important because it gets people to read your book! Think of it this way. Your cover is the flashy lure bobbing in the sea, waiting for that big yellow tail reader to snap on. But that yellow tail is cautious. Wait for it…wait for it…Oh! We got a bite! And… damn, it got away because your blurb was a synopsis. There was no hook, and now that Yellow Tail is off reading some story by some rando. That story’s probably not as good as yours, but I bet the author of that one likes him some nice yellow tail sashimi. Pass the shoyu. Domo!

So, you’re telling me a blurb isn’t a synopsis?
NO! It’s not a synopsis!

What’s the difference?
A synopsis synopsisizes your story. It’s what you send to publishers and the Cliff Notes§ of your story. We want people to read your story, not cheat on their high school English paper for it.
§Are Cliff Notes still a thing? Is this something else AI is going to kill? First it comes for my writing job, then John Connor, now Cliff Notes? WHEN DOES IT END?!

So, if a synopsis synopsisizes your story, a blurb is a sales pitch for it. I know some of you reading this might say, “Shoemilk-sensei, we know that! You already said that!” And I say, 「It bears (bares?) repeating.」

Now that we’ve covered what a blurb is and isn’t, let's get into the weeds, find a tick, and get Lyme disease and discuss some things that should be left on the cutting room floor.
The first thing that needs to go is any world-specific terms. DO NOT USE THEM! They belong in your synopsis. World-specific terms are as sharp as something dull. You choose the funniest dull thing for me and substitute it in your mind. Done laughing? Good. Carrying on.

Shoemilk-sensei! I’ve got this really cool thing in my story called the Microtetonic Molectacistic Ventroniator! Do I get to put that in my blurb?
Hey! I didn’t call on you! And no. You can put it in your story, but if that is anywhere near your blurb, well, so long and thanks for all the fish.

Oi! I just clicked on that link, and you’re full of it! You’ve got a world-specific term in there!
It names an antagonist. If, instead of using a Greek-American composer and pianist known for his instrumental, contemporary new-age music, as the name and say I used a long-haired American saxophonist famous for his smooth jazz style, it’s still just a name.

But what about my Microtetonic Molectacistic Ventroniator?!
Yanni and Kenny G ate it, sorry.

So, those of you who clicked the link to my that rando’s story, did you notice me them going on about country this, country that? No. There’s the MC’s name, the name of the school he goes to, and the composer of Santorini (less an “n”).

How about magical system this or magical system that? Nope. (Objectively, the most famous “magic” in popular culture is the Force. Go watch the trailer for A New Hope from 1977. The only mention of the Force is: “May the Force be with you.”)

Why are world-specific terms bad?
They’re like golf courses and cemeteries, the biggest waste of real estate space. And I should know, I just bought land next to the Great Wall of China, on the GOOD side. Scroll back up to the top. A little bit more… now, find the bolded, italicised, underlined, and capitalized word and look at the compound modifier before it. What does that say? Yeah, it says 100~200 words. You don’t want to waste precious words explaining some term that nobody cares about. You may care, but let me promise you, Joe Bob don’t.

Okay, let’s recap. A blurb is a sales pitch. 100~200 words. No world-specific terms. We green?

Next, let’s look at a marketing term. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ huh? Sorry, bored myself to sleep there. Where was I? Oh, yeah. A “call-to-action”. This is an absolute MUST for your blurb. This is the barb on your fishhook. Without a call-to-action, your blurb is just a bent needle. It can be stabby, but lots of fish are going to wind up over here, and there’s only two gender-neutral dudes who are going to be happy then (me some rando and the dude clicking on the link, reading that great story).

What is a call-to-action?
It’s something that piques the interest of the person reading it.​

It’s one of those things that make you go hmmm…Robi-Rob, break it down. Robi-Rob? Hello? Oh, guess he’s not here.

Now, the most common mistake people make in a call-to-action is the binary fallacy.
Is this the end for our intrepid hero and his plucky group of underdogs?
Yes. Alas, poor intrepid hero, for we knew you well.

Yes/no questions are NOT call-to-action!

But shoe-sensei, *ahem*, shoemilk-sensei, why not?
Because they are not engaging. The reader doesn’t have to think deeply about it. They can just poor-yorick your MC and move on. Call-to-action is open-ended! Learn these six “W” words:
Who
What
When
Why
Where
How

You might have heard of them before; they’re called “the seven holy words of getting paid. Ka-ching.” If your call-to-action doesn’t have one of those words in it, you don’t have a call-to-action, you’ve got a call-to-oh! Look over there!

• sales pitch.
• 100~200 words.
• No world-specific terms.
• Call-to-action

Now that we’ve got the musts out of the way, let's get further into this. Let’s go looking for billionaire bits on the bottom of the ocean and the finer details of how to write a blurb.

Sales pitches are hard. There’s a reason Don Draper makes the big bucks. Lots of practice and studying can only get you so far, and when you give up, you can just go write a poorly disguised ad for your story as an advice post on how to write a blurb.

So, what works for me is I boil my story down to its simplest element. I’m talking even simpler than that light novel title for that LN you’re reading, but too ashamed to admit.

What makes your story special? ​

That’s what you need to get to the heart of.

The working title for my story was “I’m a foreign exchange teacher who was sent to work at a school that routinely kills its students. What is the hell hole?” I mean, that’s what that rando told me his working title was. (or her, randos can be either. They even. Anyone can be a rando.)

Once you have the single-sentence heart of your story, you are ready to fluff some pillows and expand it out. Did anyone read The Expanse? Good stuff. Kind of indie. I think they only made a TV series based on it. Movie or nothing, am I right?

When expanding, there are three elements that you need to use. The primary colors of expanding, if you will. Since writing is an art, we’re going with the traditional three:

Red: Red is the color of love and passion. That’s your MC. You need to give details about your MC. Give the reader a reason to care about them. If it’s something that could be the answer to a 90s chatroom three-letter question: A/S/L, that’s not going to make people care. You know that whole “show don’t tell” advice for writing? Yeah, still happens here. And you get to do it in a succinct 100 words! Yay!

Blue: Like the sky. A location. You need to give some sort of idea of the world without getting overly specific. Just a bit of flavoring. You know? A setting. That way, you don’t get people asking where the horses are when your story is set in space (that’s a Notting Hill reference, y’all. Best romcom ever made. Proven facts).

Yellow (okay, fine or green): Green like the plot of land. But blue is location, so delete the land, and that leaves us with plot. You gotta tease with the plot. Strip it down and show it off. Don’t be afraid of a nip-slip. A little spoiler here or there won’t ruin it for anyone. It’s kind of hard to spoil something that never gets read.

The hardest one of these is the red one. Sometimes, you can go infrared, and no one can see who the character is. You gotta be sure to bring them up to the visible spectrum. Spend the most time on this. The least important is blue, and you should spend the least amount of time on it.

I think that’s about all the time we have for class today. So, to recap, here are Shoemilk’s Guidelines to Good Blurbs:

• sales pitch.
• 100~200 words.
• No world-specific terms.
• Call-to-action
• Red, Blue, Green

Shoemilk-sensei! I have a question! You don’t say anything about a tagline.
That’s not a question, and I didn’t say anything about it because, while they can be a nice addition to a sales pitch, they aren’t required for it. They’re like a nice fluffy bonus. If you do your call-to-action correctly, taglines become superfluous.

Okay, last, I’ll go into a breakdown of my favoritest blurb:



Cara doesn't care about whatever quest he has that involves her. She just wants to be left alone. So how could the personification of everything she hates in her world come to be the only shining light in it?


> It's a tale as old as time: Boy meets girl, girl meets boy. Girl kills boy. Then girl kills boy again, and again, and again.

You could call this my tag line, but it’s a blend of red and yellow. It sets the genre and plot (romance) while giving insights into the FL (she doesn’t like the ML). Female Lead and Male Lead for those of you who don’t read romantasy manhwa.

> For Ivan, the VRMMO "Alphablade" is just a game, but for the NPC Cara Vacher, it's her harsh reality.

Aaaaaand, we’re done with blue. This one line introduces the ML, the FL, and the setting location.

> Where her mortality is absolute, Ivan's revival is relentless (just like his persistence).

This gives insight into the opening line about killing him over and over for plot reveals. It also provides an opportunity for additional characterization. (I tell you he’s persistent, but what I’m also showing you is that he annoys her, so she keeps killing him)

> Invasive players have turned in-game characters like Cara into second-class citizens.

Again, I try to use a plot detail to show about the FML’s character. She’s a downtrodden NPC.

> Her world is their guilt and consequence-free playground.

Expanding on that plot point

> She would have hated Ivan even if she'd never met him.

OMG! Enemies to Lovers! My FAVORITE romance trope.

> Cara doesn't care about whatever quest he has that involves her.

Heavy focus on Cara shows that she is the MC. This story will be told through her PoV mainly. She doesn’t care about the plot point.

> She just wants to be left alone.

A bit more about Cara, setting up the final call-to-action

> So how could the personification of everything she hates in her world come to be the only shining light in it?

I invite the reader of this blurb to think about the two Leads and what could happen that would cause them to go from enemies to lovers.


Each and every word of your blurb needs to count. Wishy-washy things like “however” or “on the other hand” are water in your coffee. Get them gone!


Thanks for following and favoriting me!

As a reward, I will be testing the first 15 people who dump their homework on me. I’ll grade you and pull out my mighty red pen and see how your blurb does!

Bookmarking this page. This is either great advice, or I'm hopelessly stupid (or both!)

 

[UndyingFire]

Great advice that I'll probably wont use ?

 

[Shoemilk]

So could you check this out? it's more of a synopsis than a blurb but seems to work meh decent for me but I still want to geet more readers so TEACH ME SENSEI!

He thought he got lucky.

A mysterious god tells him he’s been "chosen by karma" and asks him to go to any universe he chooses to go to Marvel Universe with a system and the god grants him a powerful Third Eye, and a front-row seat to Iron Man’s origin.

What he doesn't know?
It wasn’t karma. It was a lie.
And he’s not a hero.
He’s a cosmic glitch.

The enemy can’t see him.
The gods can’t control him.
Now he just wants to enjoy the ride…

Too bad the multiverse is collapsing.

What will the Cosmic Glitch / Hero with Karma do?

• sales pitch. ?
• 100~200 words.
• No world-specific terms. ?
• Call-to-action?
• Red ?
• Blue
• Green

Overall grade: B-

(in the Japanese school system ?means partial points. You're not completely right, but you're not completely wrong)

Your blurb is pretty good. I think it would hit any Marvel fan pretty well (which is why you get the ?score there. For fanfics, world-specific terms are kind of a must).

Sales Pitch
You get partial points for the sales pitch as "A mysterious god tells him he’s been "chosen by karma" and asks him to go to any universe he chooses to go to Marvel Universe with a system and the god grants him a powerful Third Eye, and a front-row seat to Iron Man’s origin." is waaaay too long of a sentence for a blurb. Sales pitches are short sentences. Pop! Pop! Pop! with the occasional long one later to change the pace.

I'd recommend a rewrite of that sentence.

The enemy can’t see him.
The gods can’t control him.
Now he just wants to enjoy the ride…

That is fire.

Call-to-Action

What will the Cosmic Glitch / Hero with Karma do?

I might just not know enough about Marvel, but this doesn't lead me enough, it's too open ended. Do about what? THe collapse? Not being seen? Being a glitch? Being lied to? THere's too many possibilites and it doesn't hook.

Red
Okay, so I'm assuming it's just a "he" because "he" doesn't have a previous name or something, but it just feels awkward. there's no personality there (esp with your CTA. We have no hope of answering it because we don't know diddly about him). If he doesn't have a name, rewrite to be almost subjectless:

A command from a mysterious god, "As you have been chosen by Karma, so shall you choose your universe."
Everyone loves Marvel right? Add a splash of LitRPG? A powerful Third Eye? FORNT-ROW SEAT TO THE BIRTH OF IRON MAN?!
Vince McMahon has fallen from his chair

Technically, unless the definition has shifted since I read about them in the 90s, a blurb is a comment made by an alleged authority used IN the sales pitch - both on marketing materials and the book jacket or back cover, and some books also have pages of them before the credits page.

Some of my favorites are on the back cover of Monty Python's Cocurricular Mediaeval Reenactment Programme

• from Terry Gilliam "Will you please stop asking me for a blurb for the back cover of a role-playing game?"
• John Cleese: "How much are we getting paid for this?"
• Michael Palin: "Paid for what? This blurb?"
• Eric Idle "He means this book. Or game. Or whatever this is. It better be a lot."
• Another from Gilliam "What's a lot?"
• Another from Palin: "He's just having a Spamalot moment."
• and posthumous blurbs from both Graham Chapman and Terry Jones: "Groan"

Don't remember if it was Leonard Elmore who wrote the same blurb every time he was asked to (whether he read the book or not!), or if he was the one someone else did this to and was "caught" but there was an (in)famous story about him and blurbs back then.

blurb

1. a short description of a book, film, etc., written by the people who have…

dictionary.cambridge.org

a short description of a book, film, etc., written by the people who have produced it, and intended to make people want to buy it or see it:

While it can be quotes from famous people, in modern sense it means what I wrote (just google "what's a blurb")

Example result:

What’s the difference between a book blurb and a synopsis?​

A book blurb serves you on the consumer marketing front, giving a glimpse into your story with just enough information to entice, holding back enough to avoid spoilers. It’s a teaser of your book, not a summary.

A synopsis will be part of your press kit and applications for things like reviews, interviews, literary agents, editors, and publishers. A synopsis summarizes the twists, turns, and conclusion of your story.

It’s essentially a condensed version of your book.

source: https://self-publishingschool.com/synopsis-book-blurb/

 

[Forcalor]

Man, I wish I wanted to sell anyone anything. My only concern is with writing a story, and that's it. Being read is optional

 

[ChubbyLiv]

Could you grade me too, please? I already failed the 100-200 word limit.

Name: The Villainess's Wicked Charm​

In the grand gardens of House Rochefort, where golden sunlight bathed the world in warmth, Lucian's own world turned to ice.

With a single, cruel scoff, she cast him aside, condemning him as nothing more than a foolish peasant who had dared to dream too high.

For Celine Rochefort, men were her game, and their ruin, her victory.

A story of obsession, betrayal, and the devastating cost of loving a villainess.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

blurb

1. a short description of a book, film, etc., written by the people who have…

dictionary.cambridge.org

While it can be quotes from famous people, in modern sense it means what I wrote (just google "what's a blurb")

Example result:

source: https://self-publishingschool.com/synopsis-book-blurb/

So the meaning has shifted in the last 30 years. Fair enough.

 

[Shoemilk]

Could you grade me too, please? I already failed the 100-200 word limit.

Name: The Villainess's Wicked Charm​

In the grand gardens of House Rochefort, where golden sunlight bathed the world in warmth, Lucian's own world turned to ice.

With a single, cruel scoff, she cast him aside, condemning him as nothing more than a foolish peasant who had dared to dream too high.

For Celine Rochefort, men were her game, and their ruin, her victory.

A story of obsession, betrayal, and the devastating cost of loving a villainess.

sales pitch. ?
100~200 words. ?
No world-specific terms.
Call-to-action
Red,
Blue,
Green

Grade B+/A- With a CtA at the end, you could have me as a reader

sales pitch. ?

You’ve got good punch. With such word economy, you still manage to create a vivid picture. The contrast in the first sentence is beautiful. The second characterizes Celine so nicely. The next sells the title.

It could be tightened a tad. Lose “own” in the first sentence. Celine’s line could be clearer and poppier with some punctuation changes:

For Celine Rochefort, men were her game. Their ruin? Her victory.

100~200 words. ?

It’s better to be under than over. It means you could show us a bit more. As it stands, I have no idea where the endgame is going or who the main MC is. Is it Lucian or Celine?

Call-to-action

A final call to action can be your hint at the endgame (cause seriously all of these are still in play):

What will Celine do when Lucian returns and flips the board?
But who can Celine turn to when she charms the wrong man?
How can Lucian once again bask in her attention? More importantly, how can he stop himself from wanting to?
Now that he's got Celine tied up in his basement, how can Lucian make her understand he's the only one for her?

Something like that would clarify who the reader will be following mostly or who we should be rooting for in the end.

Red,

Lucian is spurned. Celine is a step-on-me-mommy

Blue,

Gardens and nobility in succinct fashion

Green

Toy with boys

 

[ChubbyLiv]

sales pitch. ?
100~200 words. ?
No world-specific terms.
Call-to-action
Red,
Blue,
Green

Grade B+/A- With a CtA at the end, you could have me as a reader

sales pitch. ?

You’ve got good punch. With such word economy, you still manage to create a vivid picture. The contrast in the first sentence is beautiful. The second characterizes Celine so nicely. The next sells the title.

It could be tightened a tad. Lose “own” in the first sentence. Celine’s line could be clearer and poppier with some punctuation changes:



100~200 words. ?

It’s better to be under than over. It means you could show us a bit more. As it stands, I have no idea where the endgame is going or who the main MC is. Is it Lucian or Celine?

Call-to-action

A final call to action can be your hint at the endgame (cause seriously all of these are still in play):

What will Celine do when Lucian returns and flips the board?
But who can Celine turn to when she charms the wrong man?
How can Lucian once again bask in her attention? More importantly, how can he stop himself from wanting to?
Now that he's got Celine tied up in his basement, how can Lucian make her understand he's the only one for her?

Something like that would clarify who the reader will be following mostly or who we should be rooting for in the end.

Red,

Lucian is spurned. Celine is a step-on-me-mommy

Blue,

Gardens and nobility in succinct fashion

Green

Toy with boys

Oh my god! Thank you so much, this helped so much! I will definitely incorporate your tips! ???

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

Why does this feel like chatbots talking to each other?

 

[Shoemilk]

Why does this feel like chatbots talking to each other?

Shoemilk is at capacity right now. We'll continue working on your answer. Please check back soon
*spinny circle*

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

Shoemilk is at capacity right now. We'll continue working on your answer. Please check back soon
*spinny circle*

I see, spinny, spinny~. Then I will throw my synopsis at you~.

Schwarz -‖- Der Wille zur Macht


Villainess, noble girl, princess.


Reincarnation is a fickle matter, unpredictable and capricious, uncaring and unforgiving in nature.


Stranded in unknown lands, in a different time and age by the mysterious forces of magic, Aurora is reborn as the sole heiress of the ancient noble House von Schwarz, destined to enter the game of kings and queens, armed with pride, deceit, and an adorable doll.

 

[Shoemilk]

I see, spinny, spinny~. Then I will throw my synopsis at you~.

Schwarz -‖- Der Wille zur Macht


Villainess, noble girl, princess.


Reincarnation is a fickle matter, unpredictable and capricious, uncaring and unforgiving in nature.


Stranded in unknown lands, in a different time and age by the mysterious forces of magic, Aurora is reborn as the sole heiress of the ancient noble House von Schwarz, destined to enter the game of kings and queens, armed with pride, deceit, and an adorable doll.

sales pitch.
100~200 words.
No world-specific terms.
Call-to-action
Red, ?
Blue,
Green

Grade B

sales pitch.

You’ve only got 64 words, and you made them all count. I don’t even know what the story is about, and you have me interested. You know your audience and what keywords will hit for them. Probably the best sales pitch I’ve seen in any of the forums I’m doing this in.

100~200 words.

You’re short at the expense of the plot. With those 40 extra words giving us a bit more insight into Aurora and the plot, you’ve got a solid A+ blurb here.

Call-to-action

It feels like you’ve got three great tagline-esque paragraphs, but none of them call to me to go read the story. The “and an adorable doll” does make me dog-tilt my head, wanting to know more, but it’s not quite enough to get me to move my mouse down and click on the link in your profile.

Red, ?

I kinda know who she is now, sorta, but no idea of who she was before, and why reincarnation would be capricious to her.

Blue,

Noble court

Green

Too many possibilities could exist from her trying to find her way home to a “rehabilitating” the villainess story. There’s no clue given as to why being reincarnated matters.

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

sales pitch.
100~200 words.
No world-specific terms.
Call-to-action
Red, ?
Blue,
Green

Grade B

sales pitch.

You’ve only got 64 words, and you made them all count. I don’t even know what the story is about, and you have me interested. You know your audience and what keywords will hit for them. Probably the best sales pitch I’ve seen in any of the forums I’m doing this in.

100~200 words.

You’re short at the expense of the plot. With those 40 extra words giving us a bit more insight into Aurora and the plot, you’ve got a solid A+ blurb here.

Call-to-action

It feels like you’ve got three great tagline-esque paragraphs, but none of them call to me to go read the story. The “and an adorable doll” does make me dog-tilt my head, wanting to know more, but it’s not quite enough to get me to move my mouse down and click on the link in your profile.

Red, ?

I kinda know who she is now, sorta, but no idea of who she was before, and why reincarnation would be capricious to her.

Blue,

Noble court

Green

Too many possibilities could exist from her trying to find her way home to a “rehabilitating” the villainess story. There’s no clue given as to why being reincarnated matters.

Hmm, a meow to action. What do you suggest~?

 

[Shoemilk]

Villainess, noble girl, princess.

Reincarnation is a fickle matter, unpredictable and capricious, uncaring and unforgiving in nature. [Insert something about before dying MC]

Stranded in unknown lands, in a different time and age by the mysterious forces of magic, Aurora is reborn as the sole heiress of the ancient noble House von Schwarz, destined to enter the game of kings and queens, armed with pride, deceit, and an adorable doll.
[Insert what she is trying to do here]

[Base CtA on her goals]

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

Villainess, noble girl, princess.

Reincarnation is a fickle matter, unpredictable and capricious, uncaring and unforgiving in nature. [Insert something about before dying MC]

Stranded in unknown lands, in a different time and age by the mysterious forces of magic, Aurora is reborn as the sole heiress of the ancient noble House von Schwarz, destined to enter the game of kings and queens, armed with pride, deceit, and an adorable doll.
[Insert what she is trying to do here]

[Base CtA on her goals]

Instructions: Provide examples for previous CtA suggested. Or just CtA in general.

 

[Shoemilk]

Instructions: Provide examples for previous CtA suggested. Or just CtA in general.

Hi,

so, a Call-to-Action is a marketing term that usually prompts someone to do a desired thing, like "Buy Now!" or "Like and Subscribe!". In blurb writing, it's come to mean a leading sentence that causes the reader to desire to know more. "...And now, the fate of the world rests in their hands!"

In general, you want it to be the last thing the potential reader sees as it'll be the freshest thing in their mind. So, it should be the culminating point of the blurb. Like in the one I made up "...And now, the fate of the world rests in his hands!" there would have been several things leading up to it:
"born as the chosen hero, Hero McHeroface has claimed the McGuffin required to defeat the sexy dark lord. ...And now, the fate of the world rests in their hands!"

There's no hard or set rule that a CtA must be a question, it's just that questions are more effective as people have a natural inclination to think of their answer and thus are better suited as CtA in a blurb.

So, comparing:
"...And now, the fate of the world rests in their hands!"
to
"...And now, what will he do with the fate of the world in their hands?"

The statement version has a higher chance that someone will just say, "Good on them!" where the second might lead someone to say, "didn't you say the dark lord was sexy? I can fix them. Let's see if McHeroface fixes them"

so, in the blurb sample I deconstructed:
> So how could the personification of everything she hates in her world come to be the only shining light in it?

is the CtA. I'm calling upon the reader to wonder how this dramatic switch could possibly happen. The lines building up to it set the stage: Cara has it rough and it's because of people like Ivan. Hopefully with enough there to make people care about Cara, then they'll want to see what prompts the switch.

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

Hi,

so, a Call-to-Action is a marketing term that usually prompts someone to do a desired thing, like "Buy Now!" or "Like and Subscribe!". In blurb writing, it's come to mean a leading sentence that causes the reader to desire to know more. "...And now, the fate of the world rests in their hands!"

In general, you want it to be the last thing the potential reader sees as it'll be the freshest thing in their mind. So, it should be the culminating point of the blurb. Like in the one I made up "...And now, the fate of the world rests in his hands!" there would have been several things leading up to it:
"born as the chosen hero, Hero McHeroface has claimed the McGuffin required to defeat the sexy dark lord. ...And now, the fate of the world rests in their hands!"

There's no hard or set rule that a CtA must be a question, it's just that questions are more effective as people have a natural inclination to think of their answer and thus are better suited as CtA in a blurb.

So, comparing:
"...And now, the fate of the world rests in their hands!"
to
"...And now, what will he do with the fate of the world in their hands?"

The statement version has a higher chance that someone will just say, "Good on them!" where the second might lead someone to say, "didn't you say the dark lord was sexy? I can fix them. Let's see if McHeroface fixes them"

so, in the blurb sample I deconstructed:
> So how could the personification of everything she hates in her world come to be the only shining light in it?

is the CtA. I'm calling upon the reader to wonder how this dramatic switch could possibly happen. The lines building up to it set the stage: Cara has it rough and it's because of people like Ivan. Hopefully with enough there to make people care about Cara, then they'll want to see what prompts the switch.

Thx, will try to implement this