LuoirM
Voidiris' enthusiast feet enjoyer.
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2021
- Messages
- 1,436
- Points
- 153
I stopped reading at the synopsis because I don't understand what the word "Guttural" means, like, gut-churning? guts in an adjective? Also, I'd prefer the other word to be "through" than "throughout", a more vibrant and loud imageryHere’s an unfair request: a story I haven’t worked on for like half a year!
Divine Puppets - This Cult Lacks a Personality (1) | Scribble Hub
www.scribblehub.com
pros: mediocre grammar
Cons: makes as much sense as beatboxing paralysis demons
And...
Very... Interesting, cover
Idk, it seems like a mix of kink and elementary artI didn't click because of the word "Is" isn't capitalized.Guys, I think they might be better at giving feedback than I am.
Return to You Who is Lost [BL]
Yu De, a young man with a lost past who struggled to make ends meet, was transmigrated into a game world where he had to follow every mission assigned by the system. He was told that his fate was destined to die for world progression, with the promise that he...
I volunteer my work as tribute!
The only word in the title that you can excuse from capitalization is "Of" like "Chronicle of Time"
I digress and clicked anyways
Loved the cover, very cool
Then I stopped at the synopsis
1. The word "Synopsis" is already imprinted, why would you add naother "Story Summary"
2. Yu De is a weird name, even when Chinese-latinized name are weird, this one strikes me odd, I think it'll be pronounced Lữ Đế in Vietnamese which is very cool.
3. What is a "long past"
Sova ultimate voiceline echoed through my ears. Same with the word "to" not capitalized hereBeen rewriting my story and could use some feedback!
Here's the link:
Nowhere to Run
Nina is a young priestess who has just begun her journeys through the highlands, ancient home of the Clans. But unknown powers are scheming in the darkness, and everything falls apart when the barbaric Northmen suddenly come looking for her. Being too weak to fight, she will have to resort...
The synopsis also confused me
"Nina is a young priestess who just started her journey in the Highlands, in a faraway land."
So is it highlands or faraway land? If it's like a faraway highland, you should've done that, instead of "in a" and "in the" right next to each other
I read the entire synopsis and gotta say, I'd prefer it if we knew, even vaguely and barely; why is she being pursued.
Also, you should use more than 1 sentence in each paragraph, with 4 different paragraphs like that, it kinda makes your synopsis seems effortless even though it's grammartically correct. It's weird on the eye.
No AI is used but the synopsis kinda sound AI, prolly just me being stoopid tho hmic
What is up with y'all and not capitalizing your title?!!!Haven't even started writing this story beyond the premise, but I would like to hear your thoughts!
In Four Days, I will Die
When I was reincarnated into the world of an otome game as the villainess, I finally thought to myself,「it's my time to shine!」 Doomed engagement with the handsome Prince? Check. Heroine hates my guts and wishes me dead? Yup, check. Family willing to betray me at a moment's notice?...
I like the captivating title and cover
I do not, however, like the synopsis structure.
when you're using brackets, or even in this case, Japanese one. Please do not make them drop down halfway like this
It's be better if you add some filler word and make the whole phrase 「it's my time to shine!」drop to the second line.
The entire structure of the paragraph spacing feels odd on the eye,
Without reading further, I am turned off by:
1. The fact that the first paragraph ends at the start of the line.
2. The fact that the second paragraph has too much sentence stop and too much capitalization
3. The fact that the third paragraph uses an abundant amount of symbols :[()]?! and it's not consistent with the first paragraph.
