I am looking for feedback. All the necessary details are mentioned in the title.
Link:
https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1548013/the-last-page/
Accidently reviewed the other novel instead of this one. Sighhhh. I'll just review both. Remember to thank me. /jk
First Impressions:
A very short synopsis! I do like how it tells me many important things; the protagonist, simple info on the background, the atmosphere, etc. But you still shrink too much into two sentences! Especially the last sentence. I would like it better if you give it it's own paragraph, and tell us more about where the story will go on, and what it will be about, since you kinda missed telling us that.
Thoughts on the Story:
A cozy little thing. We start off slow, with lots of descriptions easing us into the story. I like how that works. The part where she drops off her things and starts walking drags, though, so maybe summarize it all in a sentence instead of multiple.
Then we get the dialogue. It's very long and tiring to read all of it, so I suggest you break it up with dialogue tags and small actions that also help describe the situation. Not just how they laugh and gasp or tilt their head, but also how they stand, flit their eyes around, walk around, etc. It is awkward to imagine people just standing there and having long conversations.
The pacing was too fast. The scenes kept switching abruptly, and I wasn't getting enough time to fully understand everything. Clara got a novel, read it all at home, and came back to discuss it with August, and it was too much all at once. I think it'll help to slow down, dive deeper into each scene, and divide this one big chapter into two.
Lastly, the biggest problem in your novel is that I still do not know what it is about? Is it a novel trying to delve into the meaning and types of literature, or is it just about a laid back life in Clara's hometown? If it's the former, you should concentrate more on the literature aspect, and explore it even deeper. If it's the latter, you should include different aspects of Clara's new life, instead of only focusing on the book part. It feels like you're doing neither right now, and even the synopsis does not clarify, so it is confusing.
In conclusion: a novel that reminded me very much of Sofie's World. But instead of philosophy, we have literature, or so I think? I'm too tired to write too long rn, lmao, but if you make your synopsis clearer and focus more on a certain theme, I think you will have more readers. Good luck in your novel. And good nightttt.
