Is This Good Humour?

[PageTurner]

I'm writing a series of funny short stories.
That said, I'm not totally sure if my sense of humor works for most people or if it's too niche.
So here's a short piece I wrote, it's about 700 words. I'd love for you to read it and tell me honestly: did I overdo the jokes?

- Ragemoore (1) | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

 

[RedMuffin]

I'm writing a series of funny short stories.
That said, I'm not totally sure if my sense of humor works for most people or if it's too niche.
So here's a short piece I wrote, it's about 700 words. I'd love for you to read it and tell me honestly: did I overdo the jokes?

- Ragemoore (1) | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

Ask this from yourself, "Is this something I would show to my therapist?" if the answer is yes, you're good to go, otherwise you're doing something wrong.

 

[PageTurner]

Ask this from yourself, "Is this something I would show to my therapist?" if the answer is yes, you're good to go, otherwise you're doing something wrong.

Wait a minute, what? Why would I consult a therapist for this?

 

[WhiteFeather]

I laughed, don't know about the others.

 

[RedMuffin]

Wait a minute, what? Why would I consult a therapist for this?

I'm just saying, if you're confident enough to share your humor with a therapist, that means it's funny. Don't question the logic behind this, believe in it and you shall reap the rewards.

 

[WhiteFeather]

I'm just saying, if you're confident enough to share your humor with a therapist, that means it's funny. Don't question the logic behind this, believe in it and you shall reap the rewards.

Such... Such words! I have come to believe! All praise the RedMuffin! There's only one true god who could utter such wisdom!

 

[RedMuffin]

Such... Such words! I have come to believe! All praise the RedMuffin! There's only one true god who could utter such wisdom!

Here’s some more wisdom from me to a fellow Daoist:

 

[Hans.Trondheim]

I'm writing a series of funny short stories.
That said, I'm not totally sure if my sense of humor works for most people or if it's too niche.
So here's a short piece I wrote, it's about 700 words. I'd love for you to read it and tell me honestly: did I overdo the jokes?

- Ragemoore (1) | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

Tis nice. A good change of pace, really. Although, of course, I'm speaking from an adult's view.

Spoiler

Also, I liked the 'human middle finger' one.

 

[PageTurner]

It good enough I laighted at some but at some point it became not funny who cares I laughed?

Well, it was like 700 words, tried not to overdo it and end it before it becomes unfunny. But anyways.

 

[PageTurner]

Yeah, I got a one star but didn't know who it was, but yeah, if that person is intentionally rating all stories one stars for no reason then he/she is... well you can fill in the blanks.

 

[Scribersub]

One joke landed for me and it was a clever rhetoric for a classic "your mom" joke

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Well, Good Humour is a brand of ice cream products so ...

 

[StoneInky]

I'm writing a series of funny short stories.
That said, I'm not totally sure if my sense of humor works for most people or if it's too niche.
So here's a short piece I wrote, it's about 700 words. I'd love for you to read it and tell me honestly: did I overdo the jokes?

- Ragemoore (1) | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

I was completely confused. I thought this was 'The First Page', and I was reviewing that novel at the same time, so I got the pages mixed up and...whatever. Let's just start, lmao.

First Impression:

If your novel is a comedy, you have to make it sound like it. I know this may sound difficult, but I urge you to put your all into your synopsis, and at least attempt to make it sound as funny as you can. Just throw us the general plot. Even the first few lines of your first chapter will do it. Just do something, instead of giving up.

For a cover, get a bunch of boxing champions throwing hands or something. Or you know, a cover that looks funny. Again, try to draw readers in the story and do not give up.


Thoughts on the Story:

The pacing is off. The opening is clean, but it shifts in the fight too fast. Maybe if we had a short scene creating tension in between the two, it'll layer more humor in. For example, a call Grit takes from his mom who actually moved away and hell knows where she is now.

The jokes are repetitive. You have quantity over quality. Right now they feel like middle school jokes, more about the shock value than the clever wit. Just being vulgar does not make it automatically funny. You want your jokes to...have more layers? If that makes sense? And put some unexpected twists in em. I'm not a jokster, but Grit calmly saying, 'Dad, if you're going to be arrested again, can you please not involve my sister? She's only 7, you know.' or, 'My mom likes men who don't act like they're 13-year-old edgelords.' Anyway, you get the feeling.

Grit loses his calm too easily. You called him undefeated, so I expected him to at least not let his anger show. But he immediately raged, telling Vance how 'calm people end wars'. It went against his initial setting and description. Maybe edit that part to feel less stupid and middle school-ey, so that the win feels earned, and not cheap.

I liked how you ended with a joke. It was mentioned too abruptly, so it wasn't that funny, but I like how it attempted to be funny. It tied everything together and made your story loyal to its core. Just remember that it would have been smarter to set it up earlier, then it would actually hit well.

Conclusion: A comedy story trying very, very hard to be a comedy. Hopefully it succeeds at being a comedy. Good luck at being a comedy.

 

[WhiteFeather]

I was completely confused. I thought this was 'The First Page', and I was reviewing that novel at the same time, so I got the pages mixed up and...whatever. Let's just start, lmao.

First Impression:

If your novel is a comedy, you have to make it sound like it. I know this may sound difficult, but I urge you to put your all into your synopsis, and at least attempt to make it sound as funny as you can. Just throw us the general plot. Even the first few lines of your first chapter will do it. Just do something, instead of giving up.

For a cover, get a bunch of boxing champions throwing hands or something. Or you know, a cover that looks funny. Again, try to draw readers in the story and do not give up.


Thoughts on the Story:

The pacing is off. The opening is clean, but it shifts in the fight too fast. Maybe if we had a short scene creating tension in between the two, it'll layer more humor in. For example, a call Grit takes from his mom who actually moved away and hell knows where she is now.

The jokes are repetitive. You have quantity over quality. Right now they feel like middle school jokes, more about the shock value than the clever wit. Just being vulgar does not make it automatically funny. You want your jokes to...have more layers? If that makes sense? And put some unexpected twists in em. I'm not a jokster, but Grit calmly saying, 'Dad, if you're going to be arrested again, at least don't involve my sister. She's only 7, you know.' or, 'My mom likes men who don't act like they're 13.' Anyway, you get the feeling.

Grit loses his calm too easily. You called him undefeated, so I expected him to at least not let his anger show. But he immediately raged, telling Vance how 'calm people end wars'. It went against his initial setting and description. Maybe edit that part to feel less stupid and middle school-ey, so that the win feels earned, and not cheap.

I liked how you ended with a joke. It was mentioned too abruptly, so it wasn't that funny, but I like how it attempted to be funny. It tied everything together and made your story loyal to its core. Just remember that it would have been smarter to set it up earlier, then it would actually hit well.

Conclusion: A comedy story trying very, very hard to be a comedy. Hopefully it succeeds at being a comedy. Good luck at being a comedy.

Wow, this is too deep for some shit written for gags and laughs.
Not every one of his jokes landed on me, but I did laugh at like three or so lines. So it was funny.
You are analysing this too deep like this is some high fantasy novel lmao.

 

[StoneInky]

Wow, this is too deep for some shit written for gags and laughs.
Not every one of his jokes landed on me, but I did laugh at like three or so lines. So it was funny.
You are analysing this too deep like this is some high fantasy novel lmao.

...Yep, I rechecked, and I was supposed to review 'The First Page', and only lightly view this one. But I mixed things up, cuz of course I did. Damnit.

Dunno what to do now. I don't want to delete it, tho.

 

[WhiteFeather]

...Yep, I rechecked, and I was supposed to review 'The First Page', and only lightly view this one. But I mixed things up, cuz of course I did. Damnit.

Dunno what to do now. I don't want to delete it, tho.

Yeah just leave it here.
After a few years you might come back at laugh at yourself while reading this. You are literally analysing "Yo Mama" jokes like it's some Robert Frost Poetry.
Nostalgia.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

Yeah just leave it here.
After a few years you might come back at laugh at yourself while reading this. You are literally analysing "Yo Mama" jokes like it's some Robert Frost Poetry.
Nostalgia.

Let's do a deep analysis of Scary Movie to decide if the plot works or not. Then let's also cringe at the jokes that are no longer relevant because the movie was made with the pop culture of the time in mind.

 

[StoneInky]

@PageTurner, I'll also add this. I'm better at dry, dark wit, and I don't really like absurd humor. But I still think it would work better in this scenario, or at least a more absurd dialogue. Right now it feels like middle schoolers talking.

So what would be funny is if an announcer just suddenly yelled that out loud and made the readers aware that they're talking like a bunch of edgy middle schoolers.

Or we suddenly get his mom beamed onto the stage, in a large screen projection, no, both their moms get beamed up. ...And then, I dunno, as I said, I'm bad at absurd stuff. But keep it interesting and make it funny.

Powerups can be funny too. Made a d*ck joke? His d*ck suddenly shoots lazers. Made a funeral joke? Rise from the dead. Dunno, just make it as absurd and crazy as possible. People love that for some reason.

More ideas. An absurd prize. Eh, I'm trying to imagine what people want, and I imagine a harem of pretty ladies... but older ladies, maybe? Cuz we need more older lady appreciation in this world. And a trophy, and a tropical island shaped like a large vulgar... thing. Cuz why not.

And the contenstants. Make em funny too. Add a rich dude who has an entire helicopter brought in with his parents and literal gunshots. A GPA of 3.9? FIRE THE MATH TUTOR! Who goes flyinggggg. Is it against the rules? It's ok cuz he has helicopter parents. :)

Okay, bad joke, lmao. Just a suggestion, but I just think it'll work better to make the structure of the entire thing funnier? Right now it feels rigid and generic.

Yes, I'm deeply analyzing a Jo Mama joke novel. And proud.

 

[PageTurner]

@PageTurner, I'll also add this. I'm better at dry, dark wit, but I still think absurd humor would work better in this scenario. Or at least a more absurd dialogue. Right now it feels like middle schoolers talking.

So what would be funny is if an announcer just suddenly yelled that out loud and made the readers aware that they're talking like a bunch of edgy middle schoolers.

Or we suddenly get his mom just beamed onto the stage, in a large screen projection, no, both their moms get beamed up. ...And then, I dunno, as I said, I'm bad at absurd stuff. But keep it interesting and make it funny.

Powerups can be funny too. Made a d*ck joke? His d*ck suddenly shoots lazers. Made a funeral joke? Rise from the dead. Dunno, just make it as absurd and crazy as possible. People love that for some reason.

More ideas. An absurd prize. Eh, I'm trying to imagine what people want, and I imagine a harem of pretty ladies... but older ladies, maybe? Cuz we need more older lady appreciation in this world. And a trophy, and a tropical island shaped like a large vulgar... thing. Cuz why not.

And the contenstants. Make em funny too. Add a rich dude who has an entire helicopter brought in with his parents and literal gunshots. A GPA of 3.9? FIRE THE MATH TUTOR! Who goes flyinggggg. Is it against the rules? It's ok cuz he has helicopter parents. :)

Okay, bad joke, lmao. Just a suggestion, but I just think it'll work better to make the structure of the entire thing funnier? Right now it feels rigid and generic.

Yes, I'm deeply analyzing a Jo Mama joke novel. And proud.

"Made a d*ck joke? His d*ck suddenly shoots lazers."
I am not letting you regret this sentence and remove it out. I announce to everyone that stoneinky wrote this sentence guys!
Your imagination is WILD ?

 

[CharlesEBrown]

A few years ago, the Fox network had a cartoon called "The Tick" based on the comic books by Ben Edlund. In one episode, The Tick and his sidekick Arthur are listening to a wrestling match
"Wait, what is that?"
"[wrestler name I don't remember] has just pulled a scale model of the Eiffel Tower out of his trunks!"
"Yeah, where are the refs? That is definitely a foreign object! Ohh! That had to hurt!"