Relic power system Aid?

[LesserCodex]

So I'm trying to make a relic-based power system for a story I'm working on and I want to bounce these ideas to see if it has a good standing as in no issues about this power structure.

As the title says it's based on relics: Everyone reaching a certain age awakens their aura when their physical energy(body) and spiritual energy(soul) have matured awakening their aura.

During that, there is a chance to awaken a relic which is the addition of their mental energy (mind) into their aura manifesting an immortal item that when broken or destroyed can be remade and summoned once more.

Everyone awakens an Aura but not everyone awakens a relic. Now to the relics themselves. I'll bullet-point things.

[Aura/Relic wielders]

The power structure is broken into five ranks and to advance in each one must train themselves to master these requirements.

• [1: Strong Physique, Aura sense, Aura vision.]
• [2: Stone physicality, Aura haste, Aura slash.] [Most of the populations stop at this stage
• [3: Iron physique, Empower, Aura coat.]
• [4: Steel Physique, Embody Aura/Relic, Flow state.]
• [5: Titanium Physique, Aura domain, Spiritualisation.]

[Relic Ranks]

• They are divided into three ranks and at said rank a relic has a set amount of skills.
• Relic Ranks: Copper [2 skills], Silver: [3 skills], Gold: [5 skills]
• It's unknown how to advance a relic and as mentioned in the aura/wielders section people can embody their relic temporarily advancing their relic to the next rank allowing them to access their extra skill. Often used as a trump card.

[Relic types]

• Physical: These are relics that can do anything relating to the physical body, goggles that make you see in the dark, boots letting you run faster. A mechanical liver that makes you immune to poison. Simple stuff.
• Magical: These involve any range of supernatural abilities, a lantern that summons spirits, a set of playing cards that explode or a bell that brings objects to life.
• Elemental: These are purely anything to do with the basic elements, an example would be a flaming sword, a cape that turns you into a shadow, a ring that lets you fly.

[Relic examples]

• Double Lens [Bronze-Physical] Skills: Telescopic vision, Night vision.
• Magic Goggles [Bronze-Magics] Skills: Petrifying gaze, Future vision.
• Burn Monicle [Bronze-Elemental] Skills: Laser beam, Ice beam.

Now my story will involve a society while fighting against a threat relying on relic wielders, is advancing and creating pseudo relics which anyone can use making the purpose of relic useless, the relic examples above like the double lens and Burn Monicle can be replaced by advance enough technology (ignoring the ice beam one).

So does this system of power seem alright, is there anything that might make you question things like "Why is this like that and not like that?" I'd be happy to know.

 

[RepresentingPride]

That look like a lot of spirit oriented cultivation stories.
The power system seem alright by itself, and you can come with a lot of ideas to advance a relic, be it something like comprehension between the user and the relic, and you can go even further if you include something like a living persona inside the relic that may be awakened through advancement or by an other way.
You can use material for it to advance, that would make some arc in your story resolving around the search of said material.
It can be a lot of different thing, and that may interest the readers depending on wich way you will go with that.

 

[DismaiNaim]

You seem to have put a lot of thought into this.

Make sure you have a compelling story to put into this world. I made that mistake—built up a whole world and thought it was great, and no one liked my protagonist

 

[LesserCodex]

You seem to have put a lot of thought into this.

Make sure you have a compelling story to put into this world. I made that mistake—built up a whole world and thought it was great, and no one liked my protagonist

That's true and I've got the story outlined now I'm filling in the blanks about what, why when and who.

 

[Placeholder]

> if it has a good standing as in no issues about this power structure.

Note that literpg is the local hotness, but Tolkien, Zelazny, Brust, Glen Cook, and Steven Erickson write perfectly readable stories while obscuring most or all of their system mechanics from the reader. Or having a certification authority putting numbers on things.

And any good historical fiction is readable without having a system, or magic.

That Mistborn guy is nose-deep in system mechanics to the arguable detriment of telling an engaging story.

 

[Deleted member 192215]

You seem to have put a lot of thought into this.

Make sure you have a compelling story to put into this world. I made that mistake—built up a whole world and thought it was great, and no one liked my protagonist

Putting all the stats into world-building, but none stats to the character, and its development.

I love you said it, it was based off from maple.

 

[Alski]

The power structure is broken into five ranks and to advance in each one must train themselves to master these requirements.

• [1: Strong Physique,]
• [2: Stone physicality,]
• [3: Iron physique, ]
• [4: Steel Physique,]
• [5: Titanium Physique,]

While this wont really come in to play on an amature writing site, theme and consistancy with your naming is important at a higher level. Whats physicality doing in there, why is strong there. Iron and Titanium are elements, steel is an alloy (98-99% iron) and stone is just a collection of elements.

 

[Arch9CivilReactor]

Work on the limitations rather than the strengths is what a Brandon Sanderson says. Just make sure you don’t fall into the trap of presenting the story as “look, magic!” Or “I totally gave limitations okay?”

 

[7ydy]

Note that literpg is the local hotness, but Tolkien, Zelazny, Brust, Glen Cook, and Steven Erickson write perfectly readable stories while obscuring most or all of their system mechanics from the reader. Or having a certification authority putting numbers on things.

this is what i'd say to every litrpg writer. the more the mechanics are hidden from the reader, the more interested in the story it becomes. you can *have* ranks in the story, but make it so only nerds know their rank or something.

to OP: i'd challenge you to do something a little different and write the story so that *everyone* has relics, but some people have really shitty relics. maybe the villains are all about unlocking the potential of "weak" relics, but it makes them unstable.

 

[LesserCodex]

Work on the limitations rather than the strengths is what a Brandon Sanderson says. Just make sure you don’t fall into the trap of presenting the story as “look, magic!” Or “I totally gave limitations okay?”

Thanks for saying that I honestly forgot about the limitations behind the relics.

While this wont really come in to play on an amature writing site, theme and consistancy with your naming is important at a higher level. Whats physicality doing in there, why is strong there. Iron and Titanium are elements, steel is an alloy (98-99% iron) and stone is just a collection of elements.

As for physicality and physique thing, it was just a portrait of how enduring the body has to be at said stage I have simplified that.

this is what i'd say to every litrpg writer. the more the mechanics are hidden from the reader, the more interested in the story it becomes. you can *have* ranks in the story, but make it so only nerds know their rank or something.

to OP: i'd challenge you to do something a little different and write the story so that *everyone* has relics, but some people have really shitty relics. maybe the villains are all about unlocking the potential of "weak" relics, but it makes them unstable.

I'm intrigued by the idea of everyone having a relic giving a reason for pseudo-relics to exist with people higher up being dissatisfied.

Thank you so much for the response guys.