Here's the link
A Naruto fanfic where Mc create his own fighting techniques from scratch, not by using plot armor but by using logic. If you hate a logical story, then please skip it. --------- One moment, he was just another guy from Earth. The next, he wakes up in Konoha as a...
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Hmm, a fan-fiction.
So before I write a review, I'm going to explain about the problems about fan-fiction first. You need to accept the harsh reality about it.
You see, fan-fictions, only works very well on fiction that have short stories, and it also works very well if your story is short, too.
Unfortunately, Naruto falls into the long story category.
If that's the case, what's so bad about long stories?
Because the original author gave what fans want and does not want to read.
In simpler words, everything about the characters, story building, development, progress, and such, was completely covered. It means the longer the story, the lesser the story you were able to develop.
And fans would constantly compare your story to the original one, and have this issue to dislike your fan-fic right from the start.
Usually, fan-fiction would be fun to read if it focuses on-- Side characters.
Side characters that they were interested to see their development.
Such as:
1. Shipping Sai & Ino
2. Shipping Shikamaru & Temari
3. Heck, you could even write about a story about the daily life of a random gate guarding NPC of the Hidden leaf village, if it's interesting.
Once again, unfortunately, your character isn't even a character from Naruto, which leads to another problem-- no one would be interested in it, because it's not even about Naruto.
What's more, there's the existence of Boruto. Many already dropped this shit, including me.
So, let's begin the review.
Firstly, the title: Naruto – The God of Shinobi
There's no problem.
Synopsis:
Okay, you gave information to your readers what to expect from a fan-fiction. But, there's no connection to your title.
Synopsis + Title:
Here's the problem about your title when I first read it.
I thought this was about Naruto ascending to Godhood. Heck, it's not even about him.
Maybe you could change to-- I reincarnated into Naruto's World!
You don't necessary have to change, but, at least it's not confusing.
Now, the contents:
Chapter 1: The MC died because of a wet dream.
Congratulations, I died right from the start.
1. Smart and consistent MC
I was expecting something else, but, wet dream? Really? Out of all of that you have to choose wet dream? Even getting hit by truck-kun wouldn't make me that annoyed right from the start. You even need to mention it again in Chapter 3, wow.
No idea what you've been through, but I would suggest you to scrap the method of death and start over with a new one.
But no worries, I gave a speed read for the remaining chapters.
After giving it a read, I was like, hmm, yes, your MC is just like how your synopsis describes.
But, it's not interesting at all. The problem lies in that you've chosen Naruto.
If there's a choice, readers would choose to read over Naruto's story instead of yours.
No one will be interested to see how a cheat who knew the entire story about Naruto transmigrated into Naruto's world.
Because there's no emotion in your story.
At least, Naruto was shunned, protected by his sensei, and he strived to become stronger by meeting everyone else.
Plus, you had info-dumps, which is unnecessary because for those who had read Naruto already knew everything. Literally EVERYTHING.
You even had an exam. At least the others had their own method to cheat. But you don't. You are answering the question honestly, which is a pain.
Your story is like a straight line. It's too peaceful. Too simple. Only an MC training diligently. It even occurs in a timeline where everyone was familiar, which would only cause more setbacks that presents your lack of ideas.
Lastly, your author's note.
Please, at least put it in a legit author's note.
Somehow, I had a feeling that you were starting to lose some motivation upon reading it.
No one to replying to your work really sucks huh, yes, it does. It happens to those who wanted one.
I had to apologize in advance first. But unfortunately, your fan-fic would die soon, very soon. Especially when one uses an old plot.
I could understand your passion and love about Naruto, but unfortunately, it's best to let Naruto remain as Naruto, as a legend.
Let's hope you wouldn't be discouraged.
Below this line is just a suggestion, whether to heed the advice or not is entirely up to you. But take note, your work is as good as dead. It's already dead right from the start.
...Drop this work. (Harsh, isn't it?)
If not, not the hidden leaf village. There are other villages, how about your try them.
If not, not the transmigration. Any character would do fine in Naruto as long as it's a shinobi.
If not, not that timeline. Can't you go way before hidden leaf village was founded? If not, life on the moon?
If not, don't write fan-fiction for Naruto.
