Feedback on my fanfiction

[Zenomew]

Hi guys I have been working on this fanfic for a while now and I would appreciate some feedback on it

Isekai Quartet Magic Research Club

Ainz has created a club at his magical academy, but this isn’t just any regular school activity—This is the magic research club Between new spells, experiments , school life ,evil beings trying to invade their world and Explosions the great supreme being really has his hands full

www.scribblehub.com

 

[CharlesEBrown]

The first chapter is sorely in need of a firm editor. Too many little issues to point out without copying and "redlining" half the document. Really could use a few more commas at a minimum.
Also, as you say this is fanfiction - which character(s) should be known to the target audience?

 

[Zenomew]

The first chapter is sorely in need of a firm editor. Too many little issues to point out without copying and "redlining" half the document. Really could use a few more commas at a minimum.
Also, as you say this is fanfiction - which character(s) should be known to the target audience?

Subaru (re zero) Kazuma (knonsuba),Tanya(Yojo senkai),Ainz(Overlord)

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Subaru (re zero) Kazuma (knonsuba),Tanya(Yojo senkai),Ainz(Overlord)

Wow, have only heard of one (re Zero) and not seen any so ... definitely not part of the target audience then!

 

[Zenomew]

Wow, have only heard of one (re Zero) and not seen any so ... definitely not part of the target audience then!

You should really watch the other series and their collective crossover series

 

[Aijikan]

Hi guys I have been working on this fanfic for a while now and I would appreciate some feedback on it

Isekai Quartet Magic Research Club

Ainz has created a club at his magical academy, but this isn’t just any regular school activity—This is the magic research club Between new spells, experiments , school life ,evil beings trying to invade their world and Explosions the great supreme being really has his hands full

www.scribblehub.com

I gave a 1 star rating again coz no one gave 1 star..... I'm really unique?

 

[Zenomew]

I gave a 1 star rating again coz no one gave 1 star..... I'm really unique?

serioulsly the same stratagy again

 

[Aijikan]

serioulsly the same stratagy again

Seriously the same spelling mistake again?

 

[Zenomew]

Seriously the same spelling mistake again?

you serioulsy hate fanfictions don't you
or
you just like messing around playing 4d chess