I can give an opinion, but do know it reads fairly harsh. I hope you use it to improve. Please note it is only an opinion, someone else may very well like your style of writing, as I have read writing styles/prose similar to yours before.
An opinion, which on the internet means really nothing:
-------------Tried to read it, very flowery and wordy. You are doing a lot of telling and explaining with practically no showing. The the sentences do not flow and seem disjointed. As a reader I have no clue what is going on from the prologue through the first chapter on, except in vague terms. There is a realm lots of flowery convoluted explanation, an island in the realm flowery description of words; it is a Prison island lots of disjointed (To me) wordy wordiness. It is protected from stuff, except something can break it (just one line there but not a who). That sentence is: "But for one person, a simple breath of magic could erase everything in existence." , unsure if I got what it means correctly. A Guard walks around delivers a message and he/it disappears. A Character is in the prison and is going to graduate (release/promoted?) from the prison and the other inmates are happy for them.-----------------
It feels as if you have a concept where everything is, but are not explaining it or showing it to me in a way I can understand until I have read far enough into the next section and sometimes not even then. It is a bit of a slog for me to go through it and try and immerse myself in the world you are creating.
Damnit, is that a challenge to me the harsh reviewer (F) Gordom Ramsey of SHF !? (to the point i even received 1 drama fight and near calling others : idiot sandwitches)
Jokes aside, Kenjac-san is right.
Some people can be impatient.
Wrong. 2024 readers impatient. And the gen.
= It worsen.
(even a chinese author of mine ranted about this / even saying some OLD chinese novel masterpieces in their culture would flop if published rn)
"tldr" becoming a famous mainstream known slang is also a big indicator.
Please help me judge my work. I don't know how I can edit my work. My sanity is already low.
Here is my story:
Nebula: Villainess of Never-ending Beyond
Just bad luck, unfortunately your story ended up being seen first by toxic elements. Keep writing, don’t give up. In the long run, persistence pays off, and you’ll balance out the negative votes. You’ll definitely find people of value who will appreciate your work.
I advise you not to focus on that number; it doesn't represent the true value of your story.
THAT
+ Konjo
-----------------
To OP:
I must point out something from chinese novel industry :
The GOLDEN 3 CHAPTERS
=
The readers will pick a book and try the first 3 chaps.
The FIRST 3 Chaps must catch the interest of readers as they won't bother giving more time/potential/patience to it.
That is why authors put LOT. AND LOT. of efforts for this 3 first chaps. (a lot even worsening horribly in quality after 3 or after 50th as they daily output)
Analogy :
Like a blind date, or a shop giving free tasting.
If we ignore the bad people that are hiding behind make-up or scammers, but a blind date must itself very pretty at first glance.
Also the idiom
"its the interior that count" is entirely BS. Bc humans are VISUAL ANIMALS (Quote from my TOP2 fav CN : History strongest husband[NU])
But in fact, people have flaws, but for this "flaws" to be bore by their closed ones, that means they FIRST and FOREMOST be close beforehand.
Its like marriage. (And its also reason of divorce / Dropping a book)
------And
like bread baguette. If you eat 3 bites and find it its not to your taste, the person wont continue. That simple.
Also reason SHF doesnt lot of readers with starting series,
is bc too many too often
authors drop/axe their series and why readers often wait a series got 50+ chaps before starting a try.
And don't forget, we are in 2024.
The toxicity lvl are offthecharts. (Heck look at KICK livestream website, they got bullies and crimes there. So many dipshits, but somehow they get famous/popular for it [even though a big part of viewers are hate watching to see streamer getting punished])
CONCLUSION/tldr : Get better, and dont give up. (that and other factors) (lot of good creators were bad amateur before their success)
Please help me judge my work. I don't know how I can edit my work. My sanity is already low.
Here is my story:
Nebula: Villainess of Never-ending Beyond
The smaller the sample size, the greater the variation in statistical terms. Aka, you are too small to already give accurate picture. So don't worry yet.
