New Book, Viking Online [LitRPG] - need feedbacks and reviews.

[Enlor]

I'm a big fan of LitRPG novels and recently, started a novel called Viking Online. I want some of you to please review it and let me know a few things like:
1. Should I focus more in the game element?
2. How much should I develop the Viking World? Like, do I strictly stick to lore and history? Or can I be flexible with adding different races and magical elements?
3. are the first 4 chapters good and interesting enough?

Thank you. Have a blessed day ahead.

Viking Online

 

[LoneQuack]

Haven't read it yet, but number 2 is a major flag for me. What do you mean how much you should develop the Viking World? Might as well ask for the reader to write it for you, you get where I'm going with this? You decide that, not the reader. What do YOU want to write? How flexible do YOU want to be? These are the things that (usually) keeps/motivate you to write. As long as it makes sense in the confines of the story you can write whatever you want elves, dwarfs, dragons, hell even Jesus Christ can descend inside your novel (again, as long as it makes sense). I'm sorry if I sound rude with this. It is not my intent. I'm just trying to give you advice to write what you yourself want to write, have a great rest of the day

 

[Lloyd]

Based on what you said, it sounded interesting, but the writing is of inferior quality.

 

[Enlor]

Based on what you said, it sounded interesting, but the writing is of inferior quality.

Enlighten me on what you mean by inferior quality?

Haven't read it yet, but number 2 is a major flag for me. What do you mean how much you should develop the Viking World? Might as well ask for the reader to write it for you, you get where I'm going with this? You decide that, not the reader. What do YOU want to write? How flexible do YOU want to be? These are the things that (usually) keeps/motivate you to write. As long as it makes sense in the confines of the story you can write whatever you want elves, dwarfs, dragons, hell even Jesus Christ can descend inside your novel (again, as long as it makes sense). I'm sorry if I sound rude with this. It is not my intent. I'm just trying to give you advice to write what you yourself want to write, have a great rest of the day

Yea, it sounded rude afk at the start, but after u mentioned that it isn't your intent, I understood what you meant. But again, my question isn't answered. 'Write for yourself. You decide what you write' - bro, I know that I will decide what to write. I'm the author after all. My question is 'How much' should I develop. I could write all I want but if there is no one to read, obviously I wouldn't want to continue lol. I need to know if ppl actually like delving into Vikings and their stories more or if I should limit it to some random litrpg which also works a lot of time.

 

[Lloyd]

Enlighten me on what you mean by inferior quality?

It sucks

 

[Enlor]

It sucks

k

 

[Lloyd]

k

Honestly, this shit looks like a non-native english speaker wrote it. At least learn a little bit about how to write before you ask for critique. ?

 

[Enlor]

Honestly, this shit looks like a non-native english speaker wrote it. At least learn a little bit about how to write before you ask for critique. ?

Lol, what I've written isn't good enough but I've asked for critique, not outright discouragement mate. There's a good way to put it. Seems like you need to learn more than I do. [I don't use chatgpt like someone] and yeah, I'm not a native speaker. There's that.

 

[LoneQuack]

Yea, it sounded rude afk at the start, but after u mentioned that it isn't your intent, I understood what you meant. But again, my question isn't answered. 'Write for yourself. You decide what you write' - bro, I know that I will decide what to write. I'm the author after all. My question is 'How much' should I develop. I could write all I want but if there is no one to read, obviously I wouldn't want to continue lol. I need to know if ppl actually like delving into Vikings and their stories more or if I should limit it to some random litrpg which also works a lot of time.

Reading this makes me believe you don't have a clear image on your story. A big mistake that almost everyone does at the beginning of their career is that they haven't really thought of the story properly, and by that, I don't mean the random moment you've already envisioned the MC in or the abilities/buffs whatever you want to give them. Most often than not, the answer lies with the ending, which for most stories nowadays, are almost non-existent (so many good stories with premises only to flop at the end, but I'm getting off topic here)

How the story will conclude is a good way to figure out what kind of story you want to tell. You're probably going to say once again that "this doesn't answer the question" but I beg to differ. It does because once you have a clear image on your story, you naturally know what type of information you want to give and in what volumes. To put it simply, you can always ask the question "does this move the story forward- yes or no? If yes it stays- if not, remove it.

And for the how much, it really doesn't matter. It's your job to make it interesting. Where is it given? Why is it given? How is it given? Does it offer something now, or later? If it's for later then how can it fit with the current events to attract the readers interest? I can keep this for hours, but you get the point.

Welp, hope this helps out, if not feel free to ask out, have a nice rest of your day


P.S. Was this rude? No, seriously, I've been told the same by a close friend of mine and now I'm self conscious about it xd.

 

[Enlor]

Reading this makes me believe you don't have a clear image on your story. A big mistake that almost everyone does at the beginning of their career is that they haven't really thought of the story properly, and by that, I don't mean the random moment you've already envisioned the MC in or the abilities/buffs whatever you want to give them. Most often than not, the answer lies with the ending, which for most stories nowadays, are almost non-existent (so many good stories with premises only to flop at the end, but I'm getting off topic here)

How the story will conclude is a good way to figure out what kind of story you want to tell. You're probably going to say once again that "this doesn't answer the question" but I beg to differ. It does because once you have a clear image on your story, you naturally know what type of information you want to give and in what volumes. To put it simply, you can always ask the question "does this move the story forward- yes or no? If yes it stays- if not, remove it.

And for the how much, it really doesn't matter. It's your job to make it interesting. Where is it given? Why is it given? How is it given? Does it offer something now, or later? If it's for later then how can it fit with the current events to attract the readers interest? I can keep this for hours, but you get the point.

Welp, hope this helps out, if not feel free to ask out, have a nice rest of your day


P.S. Was this rude? No, seriously, I've been told the same by a close friend of mine and now I'm self conscious about it xd.

yep this is much better reply. Thx for ur reply. Nope, this didnt sound rude lol.