Thought on my story

[Romiz18]

I am wondering, where did I go wrong with my story? Is it the narrative? Or perhaps the story not really compelling?
Feel free to share your honest thoughts.

Trinity Soul

They will never forget that night. Starting from mere curiosity and mischief, it ironically changed the course of their lives. Dean, Diki, and Joseph, these three friends planned a bravery test at an abandoned mansion to fulfill their desires. However, little did they know, an Entity sent them...

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[Tempokai]

Premise is too vague. In short, there isn't any unique traits shown to entice me. Sure, "talent" is tangible thing, but how much? A little tease about the three MCs as I understand, be it personality or quirks would be good. Also, I read the first chapter and quality is good as far as webnovels is concerned. Fix the premise and maybe it will gain readers.

 

[Romiz18]

Premise is too vague.

Now that you had mentioned it, i realized the threat is somewhat much more later on. And not straight up in early phase.

In short, there isn't any unique traits shown to entice me. Sure, "talent" is tangible thing, but how much?

I couldn't say much about this because my stuff is common theme. I guess that's what would happened if you force someone with smooth brain and lack imagination writing a story.

Fix the premise

Well, i just want to keep my stuff simple, not something philosophical. But hey, if people like complex thing, then i will take it.

Thank you for your honest thought on my story. I appreciate it.