When you get the perfect excuse not to clean up your apartment on a Saturday

[Deleted member 68927]

My horoscope for today (yes, I know it is drivel, but I just can't stop checking it.) went something like this:

Today you will be in tune with your real desires, which will help you reach long-term goals (which is ok, I guess, since I did already went through my notes for the test on Monday.)

But then:

Use your free time to play and do things which make you feel young again, play games, do things which make you feel alive.

(Dora computing... ERROR!)

What Dora understood:

1. You already did the laundry, leave the cleaning for tomorrow.

2. Buy yourself new jeans, since you were a lazy bum the whole week, and left the laundry for Saturday. (I have just one clean pair of pants, and I am wearing it. Funnily enough, I have enough T-shirts to last me a week. Shopping priorities, am I right?)

3. Play Don't Get Angry 3 while listening to a podcast. Or maybe to a standing comedy show on YouTube. (I already know what to pick.)

4. Take a walk, greet the turtles in the park.

5. WRITE! =)

6. Buy yourself a cappuccino and chat with the nice barista lady while you drink it.

Yesterday was a horrible day, but today the sun is shining, and I will make the most of it.

How are you today?

 

[TheEldritchGod]

Virgo: Go see a movie today. It’s a great escape! Especially from all this pollution and dangerous UV radiation! Say, is that mole new?

Libra: Your dreams will be filled with prophetic visions. Write them down. Hopefully, there are some lottery numbers or sports scores in there!

Scorpio: Curse you. Curse your family! Curse your children! And your children’s children! Vile, vile Scorpio.

Sagittarius: Eat well today! You’ve earned it! And by “it,” I mean “massive food allergies”! And by “earned,” I mean “acquired”. I should proof this stuff before I write it out. Let’s try that again. “You’ve acquired massive food allergies!” Yes, much cleaner. Eat well!

Capricorn: Those were not contact lenses you put in this morning. Best not think about this again…

Aquarius: The white ball will be under the middle shell. Trust the stars. Invest all your money in this lucrative street game.

Pisces: YOU’VE WON A BRAND NEW CAR!

Aries: You will feel a haunting sadness about times gone by. Today’s smell is wheat grass and toast.

Taurus: Today is your annual Crime Day. All Tauruses are exempt from laws today.

Gemini: You will meet someone today who will have no effect on your life, and who you will immediately forget. Retain hope for a possible future.

Cancer: “I’ve gotta pay my phone bill, and also get some more milk.” That wasn’t me talking. That is what the stars say today. Interpret it as you will.

Leo: It’s better that I don’t read this aloud. Better that you not know. Tell your family that you love them.

 

[Deleted member 68927]

Virgo: Go see a movie today. It’s a great escape! Especially from all this pollution and dangerous UV radiation! Say, is that mole new?

Libra: Your dreams will be filled with prophetic visions. Write them down. Hopefully, there are some lottery numbers or sports scores in there!

Scorpio: Curse you. Curse your family! Curse your children! And your children’s children! Vile, vile Scorpio.

Sagittarius: Eat well today! You’ve earned it! And by “it,” I mean “massive food allergies”! And by “earned,” I mean “acquired”. I should proof this stuff before I write it out. Let’s try that again. “You’ve acquired massive food allergies!” Yes, much cleaner. Eat well!

Capricorn: Those were not contact lenses you put in this morning. Best not think about this again…

Aquarius: The white ball will be under the middle shell. Trust the stars. Invest all your money in this lucrative street game.

Pisces: YOU’VE WON A BRAND NEW CAR!

Aries: You will feel a haunting sadness about times gone by. Today’s smell is wheat grass and toast.

Taurus: Today is your annual Crime Day. All Tauruses are exempt from laws today.

Gemini: You will meet someone today who will have no effect on your life, and who you will immediately forget. Retain hope for a possible future.

Cancer: “I’ve gotta pay my phone bill, and also get some more milk.” That wasn’t me talking. That is what the stars say today. Interpret it as you will.

Leo: It’s better that I don’t read this aloud. Better that you not know. Tell your family that you love them.

I am a Scorpio... and I thought we were friends.

 

[SsemouyOnan]

Taurus: Today is your annual Crime Day. All Tauruses are exempt from laws today.

brb gonna do my taxes

 

[NotaNuffian]

I ate 2 mcspicy.

I have migraine before and after eating.

 

[MasFaqih]

Virgo: Go see a movie today. It’s a great escape! Especially from all this pollution and dangerous UV radiation! Say, is that mole new?

Libra: Your dreams will be filled with prophetic visions. Write them down. Hopefully, there are some lottery numbers or sports scores in there!

Scorpio: Curse you. Curse your family! Curse your children! And your children’s children! Vile, vile Scorpio.

Sagittarius: Eat well today! You’ve earned it! And by “it,” I mean “massive food allergies”! And by “earned,” I mean “acquired”. I should proof this stuff before I write it out. Let’s try that again. “You’ve acquired massive food allergies!” Yes, much cleaner. Eat well!

Capricorn: Those were not contact lenses you put in this morning. Best not think about this again…

Aquarius: The white ball will be under the middle shell. Trust the stars. Invest all your money in this lucrative street game.

Pisces: YOU’VE WON A BRAND NEW CAR!

Aries: You will feel a haunting sadness about times gone by. Today’s smell is wheat grass and toast.

Taurus: Today is your annual Crime Day. All Tauruses are exempt from laws today.

Gemini: You will meet someone today who will have no effect on your life, and who you will immediately forget. Retain hope for a possible future.

Cancer: “I’ve gotta pay my phone bill, and also get some more milk.” That wasn’t me talking. That is what the stars say today. Interpret it as you will.

Leo: It’s better that I don’t read this aloud. Better that you not know. Tell your family that you love them.

Why do I feel like, my knowledge about zodiac is useless here.

 

[TheEldritchGod]

I am a Scorpio... and I thought we were friends.

Different Scorpio.

 

[Deleted member 68927]

Different Scorpio.

I will have you know that not all Scorpios are the same. For example, about the whole sexed up stuff, that doesn't work for me. I am asexual. And, also, in all of the sites it is said that Scorpios are mean. If someone pisses me off, I ignore them, I don't yell at them. And I have about as much confidence as a lamb survival chances on Easter.

But I wish you a good day. Because that is a thing I do.

 

[Conqueror_Quack]

Why do I feel like, my knowledge about zodiac is useless here.

Must be a different regional zodiac thing then.

 

[Nevafrost]

I can't decide on which my zodiac sign is. Bruh
I was born on 22nd August. But, it was 11:30 at night or so. So, it became 23rd August. Now, I don't know my zodiac.

 

[Representing_Tromba]

I have work today. Been up since 5 AM

 

[Deleted member 68927]

I did end up cleaning the apartment yesterday.