I NEED feedback on my novel! Hard Sci-Fi

[Deleted member 156229]

Hey!

I'm a newbie writer, and I started working on my first novel! I need some feedback and sugestions from more seasoned writers!
Thank you for your time!

Link: https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1028921/mankind-diaspora-the-trappist-gambit/

 

[SsemouyOnan]

The cover alone has caught my eye. Are you perhaps a fan of children of a dead earth?

I'll check it out on the weekend.

 

[Deleted member 156229]

The cover alone has caught my eye. Are you perhaps a fan of children of a dead earth?

I'll check it out on the weekend.

YES! Sexy radiators FTW ?
I got a few "details" wrong, though. Some hard sci-fi folks have pointed out that the radiators are backward. The lower end should be towards the engine.

 

[Lloyd]

Too wordy of a start. I'd trim some fat and make it punchier.

 

[Deleted member 156229]

Too wordy of a start. I'd trim some fat and make it punchier.

I've received feedback from other people as well. I made an update and tried to make a better opening and add a bit more word-building to the chapter.