SHF High-school Fanfic

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Deleted member 84247

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DannyTheDaikon said:
Impress me, Your Majesty :blob_evil:
Click to expand...
I present to this thread a piece written by a subordinate titled How to Care for Humans on the Farm.

Before the court, let it be known that I am a Human Rights Activist.
Long since vampires have ruled over humans, there have been Countless atrocities. We vampires have slaughtered, turned, and purged many humans and their kingdoms. However, recently, our queen had been gracious enough to grant them salvation. Living on the Blood Farm means our need for sustenance is met, and their need for life is also met. There is but one issue.

This issue has prevailed even in these peaceful times. It is a concern of: How must one treat the humans on the farm? And that is what I am tackling today. Before mine seniors, I aim to provide a detailed response.

You see, in a way, our cattle are just like us. They must be treated with due respect, fitting their position as our sustenance. Humans require daily eating. Now, I know you all gasp, but listen! They also require daily drinking of water! This problem extends even further, as the eaten meals become thrice daily!

Yet, it's not enough! Now, I know it's preposterous for a lowly one such as me, but I aim to provide humans with more than simple necessities. They also need something called wi-fi! They need it to browse their "internet." It has come to my attention that, should we provide them with internet and free wi-fi, they will be loyal to us forever!

You might wonder whether that is really the case, but I swear it on my undead heart that it's true! Humans can even forgo food so long as they are entertained with 15 second clips of other humans and animals doing stupid things!!!

*The gasps echoed amongst the vampire council for the truth they all bore witness to. Humans spending hours of useless time on this so called "internet" and even reading long posts for no reason other than to sate their boredom.*

And so, my conclusion is that all humans should be fitted with high speed wi-fi!
 
D

Deleted member 146224

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RepresentingEnvy said:
I present to this thread a piece written by a subordinate titled How to Care for Humans on the Farm.

Before the court, let it be known that I am a Human Rights Activist.
Long since vampires have ruled over humans, there have been Countless atrocities. We vampires have slaughtered, turned, and purged many humans and their kingdoms. However, recently, our queen had been gracious enough to grant them salvation. Living on the Blood Farm means our need for sustenance is met, and their need for life is also met. There is but one issue.

This issue has prevailed even in these peaceful times. It is a concern of: How must one treat the humans on the farm? And that is what I am tackling today. Before mine seniors, I aim to provide a detailed response.

You see, in a way, our cattle are just like us. They must be treated with due respect, fitting their position as our sustenance. Humans require daily eating. Now, I know you all gasp, but listen! They also require daily drinking of water! This problem extends even further, as the eaten meals become thrice daily!

Yet, it's not enough! Now, I know it's preposterous for a lowly one such as me, but I aim to provide humans with more than simple necessities. They also need something called wi-fi! They need it to browse their "internet." It has come to my attention that, should we provide them with internet and free wi-fi, they will be loyal to us forever!

You might wonder whether that is really the case, but I swear it on my undead heart that it's true! Humans can even forgo food so long as they are entertained with 15 second clips of other humans and animals doing stupid things!!!

*The gasps echoed amongst the vampire council for the truth they all bore witness to. Humans spending hours of useless time on this so called "internet" and even reading long posts for no reason other than to sate their boredom.*

And so, my conclusion is that all humans should be fitted with high speed wi-fi!
Click to expand...
Have you seen the Wonderwall made by my Rootling and my dear Matcha-kun? Compared to them, 'tis but a garden fence not a wall.

This Daikon acknowledges, however, the importance of the subject that Your Majesty mentioned this short speech. The Eldritch family shall discuss changing the ways our humans are... cared for :blob_uwu: :blob_evil:
 
D

Deleted member 84247

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DannyTheDaikon said:
Have you seen the Wonderwall made by my Rootling and my dear Matcha-kun? Compared to them, 'tis but a garden fence not a wall.

This Daikon acknowledges, however, the importance of the subject that Your Majesty mentioned this short speech. The Eldritch family shall discuss changing the ways our humans are... cared for :blob_uwu: :blob_evil:
Click to expand...
I believe the humans call it: a subversion of expectations.
 
SsemouyOnan

SsemouyOnan

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RepresentingEnvy said:
I present to this thread a piece written by a subordinate titled How to Care for Humans on the Farm.

Before the court, let it be known that I am a Human Rights Activist.
Long since vampires have ruled over humans, there have been Countless atrocities. We vampires have slaughtered, turned, and purged many humans and their kingdoms. However, recently, our queen had been gracious enough to grant them salvation. Living on the Blood Farm means our need for sustenance is met, and their need for life is also met. There is but one issue.

This issue has prevailed even in these peaceful times. It is a concern of: How must one treat the humans on the farm? And that is what I am tackling today. Before mine seniors, I aim to provide a detailed response.

You see, in a way, our cattle are just like us. They must be treated with due respect, fitting their position as our sustenance. Humans require daily eating. Now, I know you all gasp, but listen! They also require daily drinking of water! This problem extends even further, as the eaten meals become thrice daily!

Yet, it's not enough! Now, I know it's preposterous for a lowly one such as me, but I aim to provide humans with more than simple necessities. They also need something called wi-fi! They need it to browse their "internet." It has come to my attention that, should we provide them with internet and free wi-fi, they will be loyal to us forever!

You might wonder whether that is really the case, but I swear it on my undead heart that it's true! Humans can even forgo food so long as they are entertained with 15 second clips of other humans and animals doing stupid things!!!

*The gasps echoed amongst the vampire council for the truth they all bore witness to. Humans spending hours of useless time on this so called "internet" and even reading long posts for no reason other than to sate their boredom.*

And so, my conclusion is that all humans should be fitted with high speed wi-fi!
Click to expand...

 
D

Deleted member 146224

Guest
RepresentingEnvy said:
Try it. I will professor your professor skills.
Click to expand...
5 years of experience with smol brats like you tell me that I'm going to be fine :blob_evil: You on the other hand... :blob_evil:

RepresentingEnvy said:
You call this bullying? I have seen worse in a kindergarten playground.
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Precisely. You have to deal with this every day in the playground so Danny onee-san doesn't want to be too harsh :blob_sir:
 
SsemouyOnan

SsemouyOnan

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