What do you think about Stoicisms? I found about it recently, and the idea that everything can be an opportunity for growth is neat. But is it realistic to expect that we always have control over ourselves? I find the teachings interesting. I don't know if I have what it takes to follow them, but I can try.
Anyway, any opinions on it?
I'm so stoic that you have more self-control just by me talking to you. Let me explain how being a man works. You have your three H's. Horny, Hatred, And Hungry. Personally, I find horny to just be a subset of hungry. Hatred is often a waste of time. So if you just control your appetites, you will be a better person.
Go watch Die Hard. That's Stoic. Work out a lot. Get Stronk. Go fight terrorists on Christmas eve barefoot. Run across broken glass because that rhymes with badass which is what you will be when you get your stoic on. Just remember, as a man, you are only allowed one manly tear per day. You cannot save them up. But you can cry one tear at 11:59:59 PM and a second at Midnight.
Practice chopping wood shirtless and then put one foot up on a log and drink a cup of black coffee while staring off into the middle distance while remembering past trauma. If anyone asks, you like your coffee the way you like your humor, BLACK AND BITTER. Chicks dig that shit. Also, learn to talk like your voice is an octave lower and imitate a vague Spanish accent. It helps if you learn how to waggle one eyebrow slightly while keeping your eyes half-closed all the time. Come up with some really bad pickup lines as well, but say them stoically, because if you play it straight, that'll work too.
Remember, everything a man learns is just something to help you get laid and that includes Stoic.
Be grim.
Be Gritty.
For breakfast, chew glass.
Maybe get a scar on your face that starts on your forehead, goes across your eye and down your cheek.
Grunt a lot.