Verdante
Well-known member
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2023
- Messages
- 104
- Points
- 83
Hello! This excerpt is from chapter 7 of my story. I just wanted feedback from readers if you're able to feel the way I wanted to portray in the story. Thank you for your time <3
-----------------
Lily Bianca’s eyes fluttered open. Gentle rays of sunlight brushed across her face, waking her up for another exciting day. She stretched beneath the soft quilts, rubbing her eyes to shake off the drowsiness from sleep.
Out of habit, she rolled off her bed and twirled her finger. The silver-handled toothbrush swayed into her hand right when she entered her bathing room.
Strange. She obviously slept for hours, but her mind still remained cloudy.
She inspected her face in the water mirror, but nothing seemed to have changed. Her eyes remained the same shade of blue as they always had, yet she felt so dissonant.
Lily Bianca tapped the floating mirror at a certain spot. Her reflection rippled and warm rainwater trickled into the wash basin attached to it. The sound of liquid dripping against the basin muddled her senses.
When she reoriented her mind, she was already patting her face dry.
As she walked out of the bathing room and made another gesture, a delicate white cup floated to her, accompanied by a porcelain tea caddy.
Lily Bianca set the tea blend in her cup, the spoon occasionally grazing its patterned rim. Her forefinger danced above the teacup, and in an instant, it was filled with pure boiling water. A light aroma of roses slowly filled the room.
Soon after, her lady’s maids, the twins Anne and Jade came knocking at her door, holding a tray of fruits and light breakfast.
“Would you two like to join me?” As Lily Bianca posed the question, two cups emerged from the cabinet and spun around the maids.
The two politely declined and Lily Bianca sighed, already anticipating the rejection. The teacups disappeared and returned to their original position.
They used to drink tea with her, but once they discovered that she was brewing Timeless Rose for them, Chamillet’s staple tea blend among the nobles, they claimed that they were too ashamed to drink with Lily Bianca anymore.
She found it regrettable; this tea had an ability to store and recall memories from when a person was drinking it. It was best consumed with others.
“I’ve never set foot on a royal ball before. What do you suppose everyone would be like?” Lily Bianca asked.
Anne puffed her chest out proudly, “I am sure everyone would be in awe of the lady’s beauty and abilities!”
Lily Bianca chuckled. The room filled with chatter, their excitement about the ball palpable.
As Anne stepped away to prepare her bath, a distant fog engulfed Lily Bianca’s senses, the world blurry and muffled.
“Your bath is ready, miss.”
The voice cut through the haze, pulling her back to the present. It took her a moment to recognize Anne who just returned from the bathing room.
Nearby, Jade was clearing away the meal tray. She tried to muster a response, but Lily Bianca's smile formed naturally, as if she was a performer following a predetermined script.
“Thank you, Jade. Anne.”
~
Hours later, they were almost finished getting Lily Bianca ready for the Chamillet’s Winter ball. She was wearing a blue dress with a velvet top, adorned with white rose embroidery, finished by an airy white skirt and warm sleeves.
Her maids coexisted peacefully at first, but soon disagreed about which hairstyle she needed to wear. Anne wanted to make Lily Bianca look more extravagant since she was a special guest at the ball, but Jade insisted on a modest and classic look.
“A simple style will do. I don’t want to appear flashy,” Lily Bianca voiced and Jade happily started doing her hair.
Minutes later, they two were arguing again, this time about which accessory to put on her.
“Lady Bianca, what do you think?” Jade asked for her approval. To be honest, she just wanted both of them to stop talking.
However, unlike her inner thoughts, her body language suggested she found the maid’s quarrel endearing. She was sitting in front of her dressing mirror, her hands below her chin, with a smile so pure it melted people’s hearts.
-----------------
PHOENIX
Lily Bianca’s eyes fluttered open. Gentle rays of sunlight brushed across her face, waking her up for another exciting day. She stretched beneath the soft quilts, rubbing her eyes to shake off the drowsiness from sleep.
Out of habit, she rolled off her bed and twirled her finger. The silver-handled toothbrush swayed into her hand right when she entered her bathing room.
Strange. She obviously slept for hours, but her mind still remained cloudy.
She inspected her face in the water mirror, but nothing seemed to have changed. Her eyes remained the same shade of blue as they always had, yet she felt so dissonant.
Lily Bianca tapped the floating mirror at a certain spot. Her reflection rippled and warm rainwater trickled into the wash basin attached to it. The sound of liquid dripping against the basin muddled her senses.
When she reoriented her mind, she was already patting her face dry.
As she walked out of the bathing room and made another gesture, a delicate white cup floated to her, accompanied by a porcelain tea caddy.
Lily Bianca set the tea blend in her cup, the spoon occasionally grazing its patterned rim. Her forefinger danced above the teacup, and in an instant, it was filled with pure boiling water. A light aroma of roses slowly filled the room.
Soon after, her lady’s maids, the twins Anne and Jade came knocking at her door, holding a tray of fruits and light breakfast.
“Would you two like to join me?” As Lily Bianca posed the question, two cups emerged from the cabinet and spun around the maids.
The two politely declined and Lily Bianca sighed, already anticipating the rejection. The teacups disappeared and returned to their original position.
They used to drink tea with her, but once they discovered that she was brewing Timeless Rose for them, Chamillet’s staple tea blend among the nobles, they claimed that they were too ashamed to drink with Lily Bianca anymore.
She found it regrettable; this tea had an ability to store and recall memories from when a person was drinking it. It was best consumed with others.
“I’ve never set foot on a royal ball before. What do you suppose everyone would be like?” Lily Bianca asked.
Anne puffed her chest out proudly, “I am sure everyone would be in awe of the lady’s beauty and abilities!”
Lily Bianca chuckled. The room filled with chatter, their excitement about the ball palpable.
As Anne stepped away to prepare her bath, a distant fog engulfed Lily Bianca’s senses, the world blurry and muffled.
“Your bath is ready, miss.”
The voice cut through the haze, pulling her back to the present. It took her a moment to recognize Anne who just returned from the bathing room.
Nearby, Jade was clearing away the meal tray. She tried to muster a response, but Lily Bianca's smile formed naturally, as if she was a performer following a predetermined script.
“Thank you, Jade. Anne.”
~
Hours later, they were almost finished getting Lily Bianca ready for the Chamillet’s Winter ball. She was wearing a blue dress with a velvet top, adorned with white rose embroidery, finished by an airy white skirt and warm sleeves.
Her maids coexisted peacefully at first, but soon disagreed about which hairstyle she needed to wear. Anne wanted to make Lily Bianca look more extravagant since she was a special guest at the ball, but Jade insisted on a modest and classic look.
“A simple style will do. I don’t want to appear flashy,” Lily Bianca voiced and Jade happily started doing her hair.
Minutes later, they two were arguing again, this time about which accessory to put on her.
“Lady Bianca, what do you think?” Jade asked for her approval. To be honest, she just wanted both of them to stop talking.
However, unlike her inner thoughts, her body language suggested she found the maid’s quarrel endearing. She was sitting in front of her dressing mirror, her hands below her chin, with a smile so pure it melted people’s hearts.
