An advertisement of Puppet Inc.

[TheMonotonePuppet]

“Since the RepresentingEnvy body pillow turned out to be so popular, we at Puppet Inc. have decided to take your unwitting feedback and mercilessly squeeze profit out of RepresentingEnvy’s image for all she js worth.
Citizens, pets, and outlaws of SH alike, be free to peruse our extensive catalog. Here we have:
RepresentingEnvy comfy sweater (Fall Witch edition)
RepresentingEnvy ugly home-knitted quality sweater (Christmas Mistletoe edition)
RepresentingEnvy artillery cannon*
RepresentingEnvy specialty cannonballs (SH Summoner themed)
“Endeed!” Poster
RepresentingEnvy body pillow’The Classic’
RepresentingEnvy body pillow ‘Smexy Style’
RepresentingEnvy bobble head (Bat Transformation edition)

*does not come with cannonballs”
‘Oddly enough, this poster of a store that does not exist was found sewn to the back of @CupcakeNinja , with “Kick Me!” scrawled on the back of it.’ Reporters say.

 

[RepresentingWrath]

 

[ThrillingHuman]

No

 

[dummycake]

I want a sweater of Tony with his face wrapped around the whole sweater like I'm that villain from Ninja Turtles

 

[LunaSoltaer]

Why hello I am Scrooge McLuna! I'm here to Not buy these adorable trinkets. Now if you don't mind I'll be driving this Truck Of Not Purchasing into your docking bay.

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

No

@TenderHuman This store does not exist. Please do not call the reporting station to relay your distaste towards their crude and altogether money-grubbing advertisement.

I want a sweater of Tony with his face wrapped around the whole sweater like I'm that villain from Ninja Turtles

@dummycake If you find this store to post this request, please call us and we will give you a bounty of 100$.

Why hello I am Scrooge McLuna! I'm here to Not buy these adorable trinkets. Now if you don't mind I'll be driving this Truck Of Not Purchasing into your docking bay.

@LunaSoltaer That is the station’s parking space. We will be forced to tow your car away if it is not removed promptly.

@SailusGebel We are not sure how you sent an emoji via phone call, but we do not appreciate your agression to your local news station.

 

[LunaSoltaer]

This store does not exist. Please do not call the reporting station to relay your distaste towards their crude and altogether money-grubbing advertisement.

If you find this store to post this request, please call us and we will give you a bounty of 100$.

That is the station’s parking space. We will be forced to tow your car away if it is not removed promptly.

*sliding a box into the truck and closing the door* Oh! Ill leave right away! *hops into drivers seat and vrooms* Sorry to occupy the space~

 

[RepresentingWrath]

‘Oddly enough, this poster of a store that does not exist was found sewn to the back of @CupcakeNinja , with “Kick Me!” scrawled on the back of it.’ Reporters say.

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

*sliding a box into the truck and closing the door* Oh! Ill leave right away! *hops into drivers seat and vrooms* Sorry to occupy the space~

Please bring our filming equipment back… please?

 

[LunaSoltaer]

Please bring our filming equipment back… please?

These weren't repres- i mean... *opens a spitefire portal, delivering the goods back to the front door with the most bitter of serene gentleness*

.... *realises she just teleported fragile equipment from a moving truck to a not moving store using spite and didn't break it* .... Aw heck yeah!

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

We are equally confused by the defacement of the city’s public property. Please direct your aggression to something else, however.

 

[georgelee5786]

Ok

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

Ok

We are confused as to what your assent of “Ok” is for.

 

[RepresentingWrath]

We are equally confused by the defacement of the city’s public property. Please direct your aggression to something else, however.

I will ask Stone Cold Enby-Chan to whoop yer ass.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

I will ask Stone Cold Enby-Chan to whoop yer ass.

Yea! Where is the magic staff of ass whoopin's?

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

We are currently unsure which individual is reacting to all of your phone calls with maniacal laughter, but we are currently working on this technical issue. We believe there to be a hole in our security procedures and we are doing our best to fix this.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

You should also add a title belt to the list. 'Cuz we all know that Paul ain't got what it takes.

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

You should also add a title belt to the list. 'Cuz we all know that Paul ain't got what it takes.

If the viewers of our station, like this one, could please stop making suggestions for a store that does not exist to your beleaguered news station media management, that would be greatly appreciated.
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
We apologize for the maniacal laughter. It seems to have only gotten worse. Rest assured, we are working on the issue.

 

[Rhaps]

does not come with cannonballs”

Aww don't worry, I have cannonballs in my room, somehow (don't ask questions about how I got cannonballs)

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

Aww don't worry, I have cannonballs in my room, somehow (don't ask questions about how I got cannonballs)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
As public servants of the truth, we would like to inquire whether your home of origin is aware as to your possession of artillery shells?
AHEHEHHEEHEEHEE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!