How to write a certain scene?

[RepresentingWrath]

Ooh, I like this topic. There are many ways to make a dining scene disgusting.

You can make the food simply taste bad and inhuman. Describing how it make the character suffer. @TheMonotonePuppet did a great job in this sense, you can check out her Charisma.

I'm good at making a conversation flow, so to make a scene involving dining disgusting, I use a topic that would not only make the characters uncomfortable, but also the reader. Most of my knowledge in this field stem from otome isekai, some of the darker ones are truly sickening.

Yes, yes. But I want a simple meal to feel disgusting. Without bad tasting food or over the top bad table manners. And it's not the dialogue that should disgust the readers the most, but the act of eating. How to make a scene where a character with average table manners eats an average steak with some vegetables and sips on some beverage disgusting? In movies or cartoons, it's easy to do so. Just make some close-ups, tinker with the speed and volume of sounds, and you are good to go. But how the hell should I do it in a novel?

 

[TheKillingAlice]

First of all, it is first-person POV, while I might use a third-person POV. This doesn't mean I don't appreciate you taking your time, but it's an important note to remember. I can kinda understand how to make a character disgusted. But it's not the same to make readers disgusted since I can't control readers, while characters that I write are my own. I can change them however I want. Anyway, I didn't find anything disgusting with your example, nor does it helps me.

Moreover, you used a disgusting thing, rotting away from an open wound on its leg. This is an easy way, and no offence, but I can do it myself. What I don't know how to do, is how to make a normal meal feel disgusting? Without mentioning rotten stuff, excrements, cannibalism, and other similar stuff, without making a person disgusting both appearence and personality-wise. How to write it?

It always depends how I write, that's not the important part. It's not about making the character disgusted, but by extension, making the reader disgusted with the person eating. In this case, out of the feeling of sympathy to the dog.
Having the dog croak away like this, while eating fancily. Again, I'm a bit between running around and being bored here at work, but that was basically what I meant to say. Creating a context that will make the average reader feel disgusted for other reasons than those shown directly on screen. For reasons hate, for example.
"Average" is the magic word here, because you will never be able to disgust everyone the same or at all. I'm just talking about one possible approach.
Thia wasn't about the one "disgusting" word. I once saw an example like this, I believe it just mentioned the dog being starved, but I hardly remember. It was a long time ago. The approach is making the reader feel something for something else, projecting hate or disgust onto something normal, when taken out of context.

 

[RepresentingWrath]

Disgust is a feeling directed at something. What do you want your readers to be disgusted at?

A simple dining scene. A single person or a small group eats some steaks with vegetables and sip on some beverage(could be anything from water to aclohol).

The approach is making the reader feel something for something else, projecting hate or disgust onto something normal, when taken out of context.

I'm a bit slow when it comes to this, but with this sentence I finally understand what you meant. Yeah, I didn't think about this. Thank you.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

Yes, yes. But I want a simple meal to feel disgusting. Without bad tasting food or over the top bad table manners. And it's not the dialogue that should disgust the readers the most, but the act of eating. How to make a scene where a character with average table manners eats an average steak with some vegetables and sips on some beverage disgusting? In movies or cartoons, it's easy to do so. Just make some close-ups, tinker with the speed and volume of sounds, and you are good to go. But how the hell should I do it in a novel?

Example #2: Greg, George, and Johnny sat at the table. The dinner was nice, well-seasoned roasts graced their plates. Mashed potatoes adorned them as sides. They didn't wait for a prayer as was custom. They shoved their faces into the food, beards full of thick creamy potatoes. Drool and slobber came out of their mouths as they bantered, spittle flying everywhere. The roasts from their plates started to decorate their tattered clothing.

Grease spilled all over the place, and plates started flying.

(Hope this is a better example)

 

[RepresentingWrath]

Example #2: Greg, George, and Johnny sat at the table. The dinner was nice, well-seasoned roasts graced their plates. Mashed potatoes adorned them as sides. They didn't wait for a prayer as was custom. They shoved their faces into the food, beards full of thick creamy potatoes. Drool and slobber came out of their mouths as they bantered, spittle flying everywhere. The roasts from their plates started to decorate their tattered clothing.

Grease spilled all over the place, and plates started flying.

(Hope this is a better example)

Better, but the bad table manners are over the top.

 

[Prince_Azmiran_Myrian]

The reason the Denethor eating scene is disgusting is because of the context and implied meaning. He just sent his son out to die, the enemy is at the doorstep, everyone is panicked, and the ruler is feasting. Make the circumstances around the action inappropriate.

Maybe this isn't what you're asking for. Have you tried reading the book version of that scene?

 

[Rhaps]

Yes, yes. But I want a simple meal to feel disgusting. Without bad tasting food or over the top bad table manners. And it's not the dialogue that should disgust the readers the most, but the act of eating. How to make a scene where a character with average table manners eats an average steak with some vegetables and sips on some beverage disgusting? In movies or cartoons, it's easy to do so. Just make some close-ups, tinker with the speed and volume of sounds, and you are good to go. But how the hell should I do it in a novel?

Oh, I think I can apply something here. There was a time where I have episodes of very bad headache, during those time, every sound I hear was like nails scratching against a board.

I became hyperfocus on everything, making me lock into the sounds against my will. It got so bad to the point I can only eat soup and porridge, since even the sound of chewing triggered the episodes.

So you could try and make it similar to going into a warzone, having your characters stressed out and move erratically. Like the chewing sound could be compare to footsteps of incoming enemy, the snapping when you eat something crunchy can be compare to artillery fires, etc. Make sure to describe how those sounds trigger your characters, like flinching, feeling nausea, sweating, erratic breath.

The one thing you need to keep in mind: make sure your characters show something is wrong with them.

 

[RepresentingWrath]

Maybe this isn't what you're asking for. Have you tried reading the book version of that scene?

It's been a long time since the last reread. A good advice. However a question in return. Is this scene present in the book?

 

[TheKillingAlice]

I'm a bit slow when it comes to this, but with this sentence I finally understand what you meant. Yeah, I didn't think about this. Thank you.

That approach is also very versatile. You can either instill a sort of fear or disgust for the person eating on a personal level with the protagonist, or shave away at the foundation of the food itself, by bringing to light that the food that "we" had all been enjoying so far has been brought on by stealing money from farmers. Or the protagonist finding out their mother sold herself to give him food, while he had no idea. It will instill a bitter feeling rather than disgust, but depending on how the character views his own ignorance, it may as well turn into self-disgust and thus extend to the viewers (at least some of them).

 

[Prince_Azmiran_Myrian]

It's been a long time since the last reread. A good advice. However a question in return. Is this scene present in the book?

idk i haven't read it. lol

 

[RepresentingWrath]

Oh, I think I can apply something here. There was a time where I have episodes of very bad headache, during those time, every sound I hear was like nails scratching against a board.

I became hyperfocus on everything, making me lock into the sounds against my will. It got so bad to the point I can only eat soup and porridge, since even the sound of chewing triggered the episodes.

So you could try and make it similar to going into a warzone, having your characters stressed out and move erratically. Like the chewing sound could be compare to footsteps of incoming enemy, the snapping when you eat something crunchy can be compare to artillery fires, etc. Make sure to describe how those sounds trigger your characters, like flinching, feeling nausea, sweating, erratic breath.

The one thing you need to keep in mind: make sure your characters show something is wrong with them.

Again, this isn't what I'm looking for. Nothing is wrong with the character(s). No one is triggered. It is a simple meal.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

Better, but the bad table manners are over the top.

You can take only some of what I wrote as an example. Maybe have them eat with silverware, at least be that civilized. But make them chew loudly and annoyingly. Open mouthed chewing, and you can see the food inside of their mouths all mushy. ?

 

[SummerSweetTea]

I read through a few of the replies and I agree to describe the table manners and how they're eating.. tearing into it roughly so that pieces of spittle is flying out of their mouth, maybe eating things with their hands that should be with a utensil, licking their fingers clean or even using their clothes to wipe their hands... talk about the weird noises the food makes as they chew it... just be weirdly descriptive about things that are normal but when you draw attention to them, you realize that actually is gross

 

[Rhaps]

Again, this isn't what I'm looking for. Nothing is wrong with the character(s). No one is triggered. It is a simple meal.

Fuck... being simple is what I am bad at.

 

[RepresentingWrath]

@forli @Jemini Do you have anything to add to the topic that hasn't been already mentioned in other replies?

 

[RepresentingCaution]

Write it and then grab a thesaurus to find right words.

 

[RepresentingWrath]

Write it and then grab a thesaurus to find right words.

No carefully?

 

[RepresentingCaution]

No carefully?

It's been a rough morning for me.

 

[RepresentingWrath]

It's been a rough morning for me.

༼ つ◕_◕ ༽つK5 TAKE MY ENERGY ༼ つ◕_◕ ༽つ

 

[greyblob]

I'd write it from another person's POV. said person is watching the one eating. describe the very minute details and emphasize them:

chewing sounds
juggling food from one side of the mouth to the other
lips smacking
sucking on a bone or spoon or something
spit left after spoon leaves the mouth
spit coated spoon that's then dipped in shared sauce bowl
bits of food flying from talking/laughing while chewing
food stuck in teeth
fingers dipped in shared food
stain on glass after drinking from it
muted burp
etc etc..

the person eating is very normal, and what he's doing is perfectly acceptable, but when you're hyperfocused on every move, and you emphasize the smallest of gestures.