Insane hypothetical

[StaleRice]

You're going through your morning routine but suddenly hear a strange nasally moaning sound and scratching from the vents.
When you finally gather up the courage to look through the plastic protector thing on the vent shaft, you see a silly goblinesque little character (no bigger than a mouse) with a huge nose and he looks at you and says "nobody will believe you" before shrieking like a banshee and slinking deeper into the vents.
What would you do in this exact situation?

 

[Corty]

Start lying saw-like traps with half socks in them. Little fucker must be the one stealing only one sock out of my washing machine every. fucking. time! It is on you little bitch!

 

[ACertainPassingUser]

After I'm recovered from being shocked, I will take a shower to clean myself from the vents dirt and try to calm myself.

I will buy some kind of shortsword and chainmain from nearest shady online shop. For the time being, I will arm myself with a knock-off cheap chef knife in left hand and santoku in the right hand.

After taking face mask and transparent face protector, I will check the vents again

 

[StaleRice]

After I'm recovered from being shocked, I will take a shower to clean myself from the vents dirt and try to calm myself.

I will buy some kind of shortsword and chainmain from nearest shady online shop. For the time being, I will arm myself with a knock-off cheap chef knife in left hand and santoku in the right hand.

After taking face mask and transparent face protector, I will check the vents again

Chronicles of Narnia but strange, disgusting, and with 200% more felt

 

[BigBadBoi]

Fuck that I'm buying rats and training them to tear the smug little shits apart. Don't provoke me you little shit.

 

[Syringe]

I would post this online asking people for opinions before making the next move.

 

[NotaNuffian]

*unzips pants*

 

[StaleRice]

I would post this online asking people for opinions before making the next move.

me too

 

[Rhaps]

Not the weirdest roommate, I had a huge gecko living in my room for a while (I only knew it was there because it bit me in the middle of the night)

 

[Tyranomaster]

If no one will believe me, then it's time to start taking anti-psychotics.

 

[ThrillingHuman]

Check if I took my meds, duh

 

[Woolen_Monkey]

Buy a monkey and fully equip it. I'm talking leather armor, a blade, and a shield. Once you have all these materials you shall send it up after the goblinesque.

Now that you have made it that far either one of four things will happen.

1) The monkey will brutally murder the goblinesque.
2)The goblinesque will kill the monkey.
3)They will coexist with one another.
4)They will mate to form an even more frightening abomination.
?

 

[Deleted member 113259]

Shoot him.

 

[RepresentingSilence]

I'd open all the windows in my house, close off all of the vents except 1, turn the fan on max and spray powerful cleaning chemicals into the open vent

 

[HelloHound]

install new vent covers and consider calling an exterminator

 

[Sola-sama]

Starts looking up historical records about Holocaust's gas chamber designs.

 

[Succubiome]

Try to befriend them.