Pepe: The Cowfrog

[Deleted member 54065]

Woah man, I was just being comedic. No need to hit me in the feels like that.

My bad, sorry. ?

 

[Deleted member 113259]

My bad, sorry. ?

Nothing to apologize for. Stop being sad!

 

[TheMonotonePuppet]

Pepe: The Cowfrog (A Short Story)
​

Narrator: The sun blazed a summer heat in the middle of the desert town. It was finally time for a western showdown. The people watched from the edge of the saloon, and the local sheriff simply tilted his hat. Two rough riders stood opposite each other on the dirt road. One was an internet troll, and the other was known far and wide as Pepe, The Cowfrog.

Pepe: I reckon you weren't to yella belly after all. I thought all yer kind were cowards....

Townsperson 1: It's really him! The rough ridin' meme shootin' killa. I heard he could shoot the wings off a fly from 50 yards with his meme iron...

Townsperson 2: look at the other fella... I heard he came outta nowhere. Rumor is 'e ain't lost a battle of words with his replies! Ain't that the one they call Ratio Bill?

Ratio Bill: It has been quite some time, Pepe. My boys called you out to settle the score. It's time to end this rodeo. You had your glory, and now you will be a dead meme.

Narrator: No more words were spoken as the church bell rang: high noon. The instant it did Ratio Bill couldn't respond fast enough to the meme iron on Pepe's hip. He was defeated faster than it took ol' Uganda Knuckles to die out. The ratio man was no more. Now he lay in a pool of his own blood. Pepe simply took a drag of his cigar with one last sentence spoken.

Pepe: Ya cain't challenge the greatest frog in the west.

I failed lots of times. I don't know what to fix in me anymore.

Any case, I'll avoid this topic while I can. I just got out from the hospital; I don't want to return again.

Hope you're doing ok. Just know that we don't want you to need to return to the hospital either. You're awesome!

My bad, sorry. ?

You don't need to apologize for that! It's not your fault! I can't offer much, given the digital screen, but here is cookie and hug.

 

[RepresentingWrath]

Where can I find her? I need some love advices...err, uh, for a friend.

I'm not sure. Onlyfans?

 

[OP1000]

Pepe: The Cowfrog (A Short Story)
​

Narrator: The sun blazed a summer heat in the middle of the desert town. It was finally time for a western showdown. The people watched from the edge of the saloon, and the local sheriff simply tilted his hat. Two rough riders stood opposite each other on the dirt road. One was an internet troll, and the other was known far and wide as Pepe, The Cowfrog.

Pepe: I reckon you weren't to yella belly after all. I thought all yer kind were cowards....

Townsperson 1: It's really him! The rough ridin' meme shootin' killa. I heard he could shoot the wings off a fly from 50 yards with his meme iron...

Townsperson 2: look at the other fella... I heard he came outta nowhere. Rumor is 'e ain't lost a battle of words with his replies! Ain't that the one they call Ratio Bill?

Ratio Bill: It has been quite some time, Pepe. My boys called you out to settle the score. It's time to end this rodeo. You had your glory, and now you will be a dead meme.

Narrator: No more words were spoken as the church bell rang: high noon. The instant it did Ratio Bill couldn't respond fast enough to the meme iron on Pepe's hip. He was defeated faster than it took ol' Uganda Knuckles to die out. The ratio man was no more. Now he lay in a pool of his own blood. Pepe simply took a drag of his cigar with one last sentence spoken.

Pepe: Ya cain't challenge the greatest frog in the west.

Bravo @RepresentingEnvy for this great short story! This was a fun read.

 

[Corty]

Narrator: The town was abandoned, half-eaten by the sand. The wooden houses creaked in the hot, searing wind, and the sun proudly looked down at them from its zenith, trying to burn everything. This place once was a town of legends, where Pepe, The Cowfrog, slain his enemy... Since then, a year has passed, but in online years, that counts as a century.

Necortymancer: Good... Its carcass is still here!

Narrator: The figure shrouded under a Shrek blankie and wearing a faded Me Gusta pajama arrived from old forgotten forums, the likes of YELP reviews, Yahoo Answers, and Ask Jeeves. In his search for forgotten tomes, he even ascended to our current reality, becoming a Discord Mod. With his newfound power, he finally located the ancient battlefield, prying its location from the mouth of the Enbiest of Vampires of them all. He did it for one thing... one thing only. To bring back the monster.

He laid down the Pentagram of AOL Discs, holding the sacred tome in his hands, the Floppy Disk of Forgotten Flame Wars.

Necortymancer:

"In the name of l33t sk1llz and flaming skillz, I summon thee, great Troll of Anon2023!"

"By the power of 56k and the lag that enraged, rise once more from the depths of the dark web!"

"Return to the forums where you once roamed, and may your sarcasm and wit again be known!"

"Lolz and ROFL, in caps lock scream, your words shall echo in every meme!"

Narrator: The hot wind blew, picking up speed, turning into a fiery hurricane as the sand got carried away, revealing the old street, the delipitated saloon, and the charred corpse that nobody dared to touch... It was a big mistake because a moment later... it twitched.

------------

I know I am necroing a thread, but it was worth it.

 

[AnonUnlimited]

Narrator: It had been a year. Frogs don't live long, they get old. Many have short life spans, but trolls... trolls live forever! At least that's what most people think since stuff on the internet lasts forever... also Necromancy doesn't bring things back the same.

Anon2024: "I'm back! I'm back! I can't believe I'm back! Wait... no... I'm not 2023 anymore...."

Narrator: Anon2024 was different. Being in the ground for a year changes someone.

Anon2024: Fuck... I feel like... I feel like... I can't... challenge...

Pepe was old, he had a cane but he looked at Anon2024.

Pepe: "You cain't challenge the greatest frog in the west... even if I'm old..."

Anon2024 took his troll stick and went to find a duck instead.

Narrator: Also, somehow Anon2024 ignored Necortymancer who then wondered why he resurrected Anon in the first place.