Feedback request (fanfic)

[ManwX]

i dont have any feedback to judge to what to improve. Please read the synopsis and the first chapter and tell me what you think. Is there anything i can improve or something?

Name is journey across the multiverse(litrpg).

 

[Notadate]

Hamza's life takes an unexpected turn when he receives a mysterious message on his phone, inviting him on a journey across infinite realms. Initially thinking it was a joke, Hamza responded with a chuckle and a sarcastic, "Sure." He soon finds himself jumping between fiction, accompanied by Yandere God that is obsessed with him for some reason. with a goal to stop something before it was too late.

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Hamza's life takes an unexpected turn when he receives a mysterious message on his phone, inviting him on a journey across infinite realms. Initially thinking it was a joke, Hamza responded with a chuckle and a sarcastic, "Sure." He soon finds himself jumping between fiction, accompanied by Yandere God that is obsessed with him for some reason. With a goal to stop something before it was too late.

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A spelling error in the synopsis
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Funny snark, but I skimmed it because I hate over explanation. But good overall

 

[ManwX]

Hamza's life takes an unexpected turn when he receives a mysterious message on his phone, inviting him on a journey across infinite realms. Initially thinking it was a joke, Hamza responded with a chuckle and a sarcastic, "Sure." He soon finds himself jumping between fiction, accompanied by Yandere God that is obsessed with him for some reason. with a goal to stop something before it was too late.

-

Hamza's life takes an unexpected turn when he receives a mysterious message on his phone, inviting him on a journey across infinite realms. Initially thinking it was a joke, Hamza responded with a chuckle and a sarcastic, "Sure." He soon finds himself jumping between fiction, accompanied by Yandere God that is obsessed with him for some reason. With a goal to stop something before it was too late.

-

A spelling error in the synopsis
-
Funny snark, but I skimmed it because I hate over explanation. But good overall

bruh thanks ill just correct this issue.

 

[Notadate]

bruh thanks ill just correct this issue.

You better, almost ruined the book for me

 

[ManwX]

You better, almost ruined the book for me

already done XD