Synopsis :
- I think spend some time to try to edit and improve your synopsis as it's the first thing readers read. Especially if you think you're not getting enough readers.
- Fix the grammar errors. Random capitalisation e.g., "In the year "2099", A series of..."
- Make it shorter, clearer, more concise. Make it more interesting to garner readers' attention immediately.
- Remove the unnecessary author notes. I think it bogs down the synopsis and deters any would-be readers from the get go to see a story with too lengthy of a synopsis.
- I like your cover art, and the general style of your writing. Especially once you improve on the above stuff.
Prologue :
- The prologue might be another factor deterring would-be readers. It's quite long, especially given the audience type of Scribblehub users who are just flicking through stories on their phone casually, looking for something to read.
- I like the spacing between paragraphs, helps to improve readability.
- Remove repetitive descriptions e.g., "dead, fish-like eyes", especially if you mentioned it in the previous paragraph. It makes the text boring to read to see the same description repeated.
- Fix spelling e.g., "jugle". Copy the text onto Word or use a spelling check online. Spelling mistakes, especially on chapter 1, will deter readers.
- Again, I like the general style of your writing. Quite concise, simple, and easy to read.
- I think the prologue should be more interesting though. Something explosive to capture attention and persuade readers to read on e.g., a traumatic/unexpected scene like brutality of the kills or something.
