Give me tips ans help for writing because i'm new

Erios909

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Read more by authors you enjoy in a subject you enjoy (and plan to write in.)
From a quick look at your story, I believe you need more experience and exposure to English grammar and story flow structure.
Someone once told me I'd need to read 10 million words and write a million before I'd start to improve, I believe they had undershot the mark by a huge margin.
Improving your writing is a marathon, not a sprint, you'll be improving (slowly) for years, so don't lose heart!
 

Shard

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I completely agree with reading more, I would say that probably 90% of my ability to write comes from having read so much throughout my life. Practices does help a great deal as well, but reading hundreds of books will do wonders for your ability to design things, and can help with not needing to go over the same thing repeatedly. I also recommend not starting with the story you care about most, because your first attempts will suck compared to what you manage in the future. Unfortunately, I didn't follow that advice, personally, I really care about my first story, and am going to have to rewrite it, probably multiple times.
 

RepresentingCaution

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Carlo.jpg
 

WingsOfPhantasy

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Take text, put in text to speech. Listen to it as a computer reads it EXACTLY AS YOU WROTE IT.

Cringe.

Fix it.

Dont read it outloud. You will skip of errors.
This. I second, if not third this message. The amount of errors I just go over when I read out loud vs put into text-to-speech is staggering!
 

RockiesRetriever

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My recommendation on getting better at writing - watch videos online on writing tips. There are a lot of great ones out there, but most of the recommendations I can offer are fantasy and sci fi centric, so they may not be as applicable to people on a site like this.

Aside from that, my main advice is just to write. Write a ton, as just like any skill, it takes practice, and the more you practice, the better you'll become. Your initial efforts will likely feel frustrating, and speedwriting through a draft and then rereading it will result in your draft looking awful - but then go into revision. Revise and then revise again. Over time, you'll slowly find your stories are getting better and better.
 

IsseiVeskitos

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Thank you yall for your advice, I write mostly for fun but I would like to be good at it
 

Premier

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"Su-Jong, you should go home... you’ve been working for 12 hours."

"Yes, Director, I’m coming home. Have a good night."

I’m Ari Su-Jong, a 29-year-old novel editor, I had a psychiatric disorder and I’m out currently of a psychiatric hospital for 6 months. I have already assaulted my brother because of my troubles. My girlfriend left me cause she scared of me.

Since my family no longer speaks to me, I have no reason to live apart Reading web novels and work

I’ve been reading a web novels called "Sous le Ciel Noir" for 12 years now. The last part was download today I think I’m addicted to this novel because I want to escape this harsh reality.

I get off the subway and walk home and then I fell asleep immediately after touching my bed...

First off there are some spelling mistakes that you should be able to pick up with a spell checker (psychiatrique, immediatly). You've also clipped some words ("currently t of a psychiatric") and aren't capitalizing correctly.

Here it is with all that fixed.


"Su-Jong, you should go home. You’ve been working for 12 hours."

"Yes, Director, I’m going home now. Have a good night."

I’m Ari Su-Jong, a 29-year-old novel editor. I had a psychiatric disorder and I’m out currently of a psychiatric hospital for 6 months. My troubles caused me to assault my brother and my girlfriend left me because she was scared of me.

Since my family no longer speaks to me, I have no reason to live apart from reading web novels and working.

I’ve been reading a web novel called "Sous le Ciel Noir" for 12 years now. I downloaded the last part today. I think I’m addicted to this novel because I want to escape this harsh reality.

I get off the subway and walk home and then I fell asleep immediately after touching my bed.


Like a lot of new writers, you use ellipses ("...") far too much. They should be very rarely used, if at all. Just use full stops. If you absolutely need to indicate a pause, break up the dialogue to describe the pausing.

You have a lot of sentences that begin with "I" or "I've" and this makes it read like a list. Just reordering the sentences can be enough to disguise this if you don't want to rewrite it.

There's also some cleaning up of grammar to do."My girlfriend left me cause she scared of me." reads very oddly.

Fixing all that up.

"Su-Jong, you should go home. You’ve been working for 12 hours."

"Yes, Director, I’m going home now. Have a good night."

I’m Ari Su-Jong, a 29-year-old novel editor. I had a psychiatric disorder and I’m out currently of a psychiatric hospital for 6 months. My troubles caused me to assault my brother and my girlfriend left me because she was scared of me.

Since my family no longer speaks to me, I have no reason to live apart from reading web novels and working.

I’ve been reading a web novel called "Sous le Ciel Noir" for 12 years now. I downloaded the last part today. I think I’m addicted to this novel because I want to escape this harsh reality.

I get off the subway and walk home and then I fell asleep immediately after touching my bed.

It's tidy now, but to improve on it we can trim some fat. The dialogue at the beginning is a bit pointless beyond getting across that Ari has been working late and he mentions again later he has no reason to live apart from reading and working.

The ending is a bit flat because all that's happened is he's walked home, a journey we aren't invested in that.

The paragraph that follows is a dream that's far more interesting and what probably should have been the start! But for the sake of keeping this intro, you want to lead on a good hook and end on something of interest. So reshaping it a bit.
My life is coming apart.

I assaulted my brother and my girlfriend left because she was terrified of me. I spent six months in a psychiatric hospital and when I got out, my family no longer wanted to speak to me.

All I do now is work myself to the bone until my boss forces me to go home. There's only one thing left waiting for me there now.

My name is Ari Su-Jong, a 29-year-old novel editor with nothing left in their life but a web novel called "Sous le Ciel Noir". I've been reading it for twelve years now and I downloaded the last part today. I'm addicted to this novel. It's the only escape that works for me from this harsh reality.

I want to read the last chapter as slowly as possible. Lying in bed, I try to savor the moment. I stare at the title of the last chapter, hands trembling as I realize I'm about to complete the one thing that's been keeping me going. I can't bring myself to read further, hours drag out as a pit forms in my stomach.

Exhaustion sets in and sleep takes me.

Maybe that helps? I hope so!
 

IsseiVeskitos

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Messages
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First off there are some spelling mistakes that you should be able to pick up with a spell checker (psychiatrique, immediatly). You've also clipped some words ("currently t of a psychiatric") and aren't capitalizing correctly.

Here it is with all that fixed.





Like a lot of new writers, you use ellipses ("...") far too much. They should be very rarely used, if at all. Just use full stops. If you absolutely need to indicate a pause, break up the dialogue to describe the pausing.

You have a lot of sentences that begin with "I" or "I've" and this makes it read like a list. Just reordering the sentences can be enough to disguise this if you don't want to rewrite it.

There's also some cleaning up of grammar to do."My girlfriend left me cause she scared of me." reads very oddly.

Fixing all that up.



It's tidy now, but to improve on it we can trim some fat. The dialogue at the beginning is a bit pointless beyond getting across that Ari has been working late and he mentions again later he has no reason to live apart from reading and working.

The ending is a bit flat because all that's happened is he's walked home, a journey we aren't invested in that.

The paragraph that follows is a dream that's far more interesting and what probably should have been the start! But for the sake of keeping this intro, you want to lead on a good hook and end on something of interest. So reshaping it a bit.


Maybe that helps? I hope so!
Thanks this help me
 

BearlyAlive

I'm not savage, you're just average
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Plan your stuff out.
Write down any and all ideas that sound cool or you want to see.

Let your characters influence the plot insted of just following it. I'll elaborate on this since almost no one (me totally included) ever does this right. If for example you have a fearful person that needs to enter a cave for plot to happen, you either ignore that the character never would enter said cave and break immersion for progression or let something happen that forces them to enter the cave, maybe in fear of something even more dangerous.
Characters also influence each other, and no, the isekai harem suddenly going bi does not count. If you have a policeperson and a thief working together on something for a long time chances are that either might adapt a bit of the others mindset.

But most importat just read and write. For everything else is the job of an editor!
 
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