After quickly skimming through the prologue, I can say your writing is pretty good, though a little inorganic. You should focus a bit more on actions, not just the dialogues and facts. Also, in my opinion you use a bit too little emotions for first person perspective.
For example, I would write character's thoughts like:
"How can he do that? My back was draped in cold sweat as the control over my body returned to me."
Instead of:
"I was terrified and draped in cold sweat."
It feels like someone was playing a video game and narrating everything calmly. I'm not saying what you have is wrong, but I'd expect a lot more emotions from first person perspective.
But honestly, the quality of your writing is already significantly better than what some people publish. Especially grammar, cause I didn't spot a single glaring mistake. I'm not sure what's the mark you're talking about, but you certainly won't ashame yourself posting it as is.
