Feedback For My Story

[jrise98]

Brand New Writer. I've written a 123k book over the last six weeks. It's an action fantasy novel and it's not very good. However I want to make it better. The first six chapters are posted here: https://www.scribblehub.com/series/513797/the-dream-carrier-an-american-isekai/
Please be as brutal as you want. I want a trial by fire.

 

[Macha]

Most readers on ScribbleHub are silent. For feedback, I recommend writing.com or WritersCafe. Both of those sites have point systems that carefully encourage users to leave reviews.

 

[Deleted member 68927]

Brand New Writer. I've written a 123k book over the last six weeks. It's an action fantasy novel and it's not very good. However I want to make it better. The first six chapters are posted here: https://www.scribblehub.com/series/513797/the-dream-carrier-an-american-isekai/
Please be as brutal as you want. I want a trial by fire.

Break the paragraphs. No one likes to read walls of text. You should fix up the paragraphs on your synopses as well. Three line paragraphs give the reader a bigger sense of accomplishment, and make them want to read more. To get more dopamine in their brains. The same goes for 1k word chapters.