ElijahRyne
A Hermit that’s NOT that Lazy, currentlycomplainen
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- Aug 12, 2021
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This story will be a horror/mystery. Two weeks ago the MC’s friend/neighbor went missing. While searching for him, the MC finds an envelope in his friends house addressed to the MC. It tells the MC that their friend has been trying to negotiate with the Winter Eye and had found a suitable sacrifice. From here the MC gets enthralled with the secrets of their city.
Here is the intro,
Here is the intro,
I live in an old, small, and desolate city called, Gullnain. Gulnain sits with the mouth of the Lauin river to its south, the Great Yixlna lake to its west, and the forested Golden mountain to its North. All of which create a natural boundary which seems to isolate the city from the world. Yet, also give it a reason to exist. Despite the fact that almost half of the year is winter.
Gullnain seems to have always existed in some form or another. 1,000 years ago it was a city on the mouth of a gold mine. Before that it was a fishing and boating town, before that a trading nexus, and before that a yearly stop for the nomads that used to live here. Now it lives as an ever shrinking port city, as most similar cities who invested in industry a century ago do.
Cities like mine tend to have their own legends and taboos, quite unique to their surrounding areas. Mostly due to a mix of Gullnain’s size and solitude, these legends still exist. There have always been rumors of ghosts, sorcerers, strange creatures, and hidden religions. Yet everyone has a story about the Winter Eye.
In Gullnain, the sun in winter has always seemed like an alluring bait. The brighter it is the more hospitable the outside seems, but it is then, the second you bite it and go out, the facade crumbles. Here, just standing out there for a minute is enough for your body to go numb. The warm sun that you expect is not the one that you see. It is an Eye that illuminates an illusory playground that is cold enough to kill. Yet, the Eye hangs there waiting for a fish to take its bait and run. It doesn’t care how long it will take, because someone always does. When you bite you will never know how far you have gone. It is only when the Eye closes that you realize that you are lost. Then the net made by sharp wind and suffocating temperature encloses around you, taking something from your soul. Your only solace is that your sacrifice will not kill you by itself. If you find warmth you might survive.
You are wrong if you believe that ignoring the Winter Eye will keep you safe. Once you know of the warmth of the sun you have already unknowingly become its target. If you are lucky, you will die before your sacrifice.
Don, my best friend and neighbor, was a detective who was somewhat successful. He was best at working on the smaller, nonviolent, crimes, as well as thefts. This made him quite a few enemies, perhaps that is why he went missing.
Gullnain seems to have always existed in some form or another. 1,000 years ago it was a city on the mouth of a gold mine. Before that it was a fishing and boating town, before that a trading nexus, and before that a yearly stop for the nomads that used to live here. Now it lives as an ever shrinking port city, as most similar cities who invested in industry a century ago do.
Cities like mine tend to have their own legends and taboos, quite unique to their surrounding areas. Mostly due to a mix of Gullnain’s size and solitude, these legends still exist. There have always been rumors of ghosts, sorcerers, strange creatures, and hidden religions. Yet everyone has a story about the Winter Eye.
In Gullnain, the sun in winter has always seemed like an alluring bait. The brighter it is the more hospitable the outside seems, but it is then, the second you bite it and go out, the facade crumbles. Here, just standing out there for a minute is enough for your body to go numb. The warm sun that you expect is not the one that you see. It is an Eye that illuminates an illusory playground that is cold enough to kill. Yet, the Eye hangs there waiting for a fish to take its bait and run. It doesn’t care how long it will take, because someone always does. When you bite you will never know how far you have gone. It is only when the Eye closes that you realize that you are lost. Then the net made by sharp wind and suffocating temperature encloses around you, taking something from your soul. Your only solace is that your sacrifice will not kill you by itself. If you find warmth you might survive.
You are wrong if you believe that ignoring the Winter Eye will keep you safe. Once you know of the warmth of the sun you have already unknowingly become its target. If you are lucky, you will die before your sacrifice.
Don, my best friend and neighbor, was a detective who was somewhat successful. He was best at working on the smaller, nonviolent, crimes, as well as thefts. This made him quite a few enemies, perhaps that is why he went missing.
I would say you did a good job, but I can't properly judge since I'm a scaredy cat and avoid horror. It's a very good and spooky intro imo. Not too long, not too short. Basic information is there.