Monkey's Paw

[Deleted member 25151]

granted, your legs are then tied up to the first car, your arms to the other, and they drive in opposite directions

I wish for a bottle of 40% Finlandia vodka

Granted, its from China

I wish for a new good looking fur jacket

 

[SakeVision]

Granted, its from China

I wish for a new good looking fur jacket

Ah, what's wrong with chinese vodka? Anyway...

Granted, it's a fursuit. owo~

I wish for a psycho yandere gf

 

[Deleted member 25151]

Ah, what's wrong with chinese vodka? Anyway...

Granted, it's a fursuit. owo~

I wish for a psycho yandere gf

Granted, YandereDev is now your waifu.

I want Fortnite but with Marques Brownlee

 

[Reborn_Cat]

Granted, YandereDev is now your waifu.

I want Fortnite but with Marques Brownlee

Granted, but you are forced to remember every cringey or embarrassing thing you've ever done whenever you play

I wish for Chinese take-out

 

[Deleted member 25151]

Granted, but you are forced to remember every cringey or embarrassing thing you've ever done whenever you play

I wish for Chinese take-out

Granted, You are taken out by your local Chinese triad.

I wish for the next poster to have a happy day.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, You are taken out by your local Chinese triad.

I wish for the next poster to have a happy day.

Granted, I just received a new Himlayan child slave. Thanks.

I want a pencil.

 

[Reborn_Cat]

Granted, I just received a new Himlayan child slave. Thanks.

I want a pencil.

Granted, you kill john wicks dog and get a pencil in return

I wish for everyone to turn asexual, causing the end of humanity

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, you kill john wicks dog and get a pencil in return

I wish for everyone to turn asexual, causing the end of humanity

Granted, now everyone just reproduces via mitosis.

I wish for a creampie.

 

[furnace]

Granted, now everyone just reproduces via mitosis.

I wish for a creampie.

Granted, you get creamed in a pie.

I wish for all Hawaiian pizzas to disappear from this world.

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, you get creamed in a pie.

I wish for all Hawaiian pizzas to disappear from this world.

Granted, as equivalent exchange, every sandwich in the world is now made by Subway.

I wish to rule the world and see the seas rise when I give my words.

 

[furnace]

Granted, as equivalent exchange, every sandwich in the world is now made by Subway.

I wish to rule the world and see the seas rise when I give my words.

I don't dislike Subway's food. Just the over the top pricing.


Granted, you got it for a second. Now you sleep alone and sweep the streets you used to own


I wish that Viva la Vida is played at the start of every official function.




P.S. Thanks, I had almost forgotten about this gem of a song.

 

[BenJepheneT]

I don't dislike Subway's food. Just the over the top pricing.


Granted, you got it for a second. Now you sleep alone and sweep the streets you used to own


I wish that Viva la Vida is played at the start of every official function.




P.S. Thanks, I had almost forgotten about this gem of a song.

Granted, your country is now invaded by a patriotic fascist state and they have official functions every day, essentially watering the song down via repetition.

Unless you just REALLY like Coldplay, then shit, all the more power to you.

I wish to be hydrated moderately.

 

[furnace]

Granted, your country is now invaded by a patriotic fascist state and they have official functions every day, essentially watering the song down via repetition.

Unless you just REALLY like Coldplay, then shit, all the more power to you.

I wish to be hydrated moderately.

I can bear listening to it every day (I think).

Granted, you are 'moderately' hydrated every day through an injection to your prostate. You can never sit again.

I wish for a better mask. My current one is a little uncomfortable to wear.

 

[Reborn_Cat]

I can bear listening to it every day (I think).

Granted, you are 'moderately' hydrated every day through an injection to your prostate. You can never sit again.

I wish for a better mask. My current one is a little uncomfortable to wear.

Granted. but it has Shou Tucker on it

I wish for a nintendo switch console with a free copy of pokemon legends arceus

 

[furnace]

Granted. but it has Shou Tucker on it

I wish for a nintendo switch console with a free copy of pokemon legends arceus

I curse you!!!! I had forgotten about the piece of crap, and you had to remind me?

Granted, you get a Nintendo switch console picked up from a dumpyard. You also get the free trial version of Pokemon legends Arceus.

I wish for world peace.

 

[Reborn_Cat]

I curse you!!!! I had forgotten about the piece of crap, and you had to remind me?

Granted, you get a Nintendo switch console picked up from a dumpyard. You also get the free trial version of Pokemon legends Arceus.

I wish for world peace.

Granted, the world is united under the absolute dictatorship of our robotic overlords

I wish that akasaka aka didn't take a break every other week

 

[furnace]

Granted, the world is united under the absolute dictatorship of our robotic overlords

I wish that akasaka aka didn't take a break every other week

Granted, they take a break every other month.

I wish that I could skip classes without any consequences.

 

[Reborn_Cat]

Granted, they take a break every other month.

I wish that I could skip classes without any consequences.

Granted, you have dropped out and can skip without any consequences

I wish for pork dumplings

 

[BenJepheneT]

Granted, you have dropped out and can skip without any consequences

I wish for pork dumplings

Granted, they taste like ass.

I wish you can stop fucking my mom. I can hear you guys going every night. Last night, you somehow incorporated freeform jazz into it. Once I saw you go in the bedroom as a pair and walk out with acclaimed actor Jack Nicholson wearing blackface in the mix. How does that even happen? I remember hearing air sirens for an entire month from the room last summer. Please, just fucking stop already. At the very least, pick another house to fuck in, please.

 

[Reborn_Cat]

Granted, they taste like ass.

I wish you can stop fucking my mom. I can hear you guys going every night. Last night, you somehow incorporated freeform jazz into it. Once I saw you go in the bedroom as a pair and walk out with acclaimed actor Jack Nicholson wearing blackface in the mix. How does that even happen? I remember hearing air sirens for an entire month from the room last summer. Please, just fucking stop already. At the very least, pick another house to fuck in, please.

Hey!!!! don't shout at me I'm on the other side of the world and your mom is ugly. I wouldn't fuck her even if I was paid a zillion USD.

Anyway, Granted your mom is now only sexually attracted to plants

I wish for 1 billion USD.