Short story involving death, gore, pickle- yes pickles, and fun times all around!

[DarklyReadsBooks]

You're reincarnated as a pickle, you're stuck in the middle of no-where, in some weird forest. You hear growling all around you, what happens next?

This is an experiment, continue the story from where I started it, reply to the comment you're continuing, if we can form a somewhat, even just the slightest bit cohesive story, I will post it on Scribblehub.

 

[Anon_Y_Mousse]

My name is Rick, and I accidentally reincarnated as a pickle, you must be wondering how I got here...

 

[DarklyReadsBooks]

My name is Rick, and I accidentally reincarnated as a pickle, you must be wondering how I got here...

Shit! I was trying to avoid that!

 

[Vnator]

Shit! I was trying to avoid that!

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick & Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existential catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. ?

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Rick & Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid ?

 

[SakeVision]

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humour is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realise that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick & Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existential catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius wit unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools.. how I pity them. ?

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Rick & Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid ?

You say what. About Chaika? Chaika, graduated top of class. Chaika Seals. Involved, lots of raids. Secret raids! Hero-fighting! Over 300 exploded breads, confirmed! Chaika, trained in eyebrow warfare. Top wizard. Entire Chaika armed foces! You, nothing but another bread. Chaika, cook you out. Precision, never seen before! Mark Chaika's words. You, get away? Think you can? Say stuff over Internet. Think wrong! Secret saboteur network, contacting! Right now! Your house, being traced. Storm, coming! Brace! Storm, wipe out you! You, little. You, pathetic. You, dead. Kid! Chaika, anywhere! Everywhere! Can drive car, over 700 ways! Just with Chaika hands! Chaika, trained in unarmed cuteness. Also, access to entire coffin! All of Chaika's dad, parts. Chaika, use. Full extent! You, miserable! Wipe bum off face of continent! You, should have known. Unholy retribution! Clever comment, bring down. On you. Held your tongue, should have. But, couldn't. Didn't. Pay price. Baka. Chaika, super angry! All over you! You, drown in hugs! Kid. Smothered



(2nd post)
Let's see what the bot has to say about the story so far

 

[Okay]

Stuck in a jar of blood instead of a jar of pickle juice, and the pickle is mutated! It formed in the blood which is in the jar which is in the middle of the forest in the moonlight, and every full moon, the pickle monster emerges! MUAHAHAHA

 

[Deleted member 45782]

Stuck in a jar of blood instead of a jar of pickle juice, and the pickle is mutated! It formed in the blood which is in the jar which is in the middle of the forest in the moonlight, and every full moon, the pickle monster emerges! MUAHAHAHA

Well shit. Someone must have done a sassuage party and wanted to have some pickles to go along with their midnight snack afterwards. And I'm the pickle. Stuck. In this godforsaken blood jar. Prepared by no other than the one hannibal lecter.

No wonder its a bloody mess. And I think I just spotted some piece of an ear floating right next to me in this murky cramped jar.

Well damn fuck. How the hell am I gonna get out of this now? Can it get any worse?

Spoiler: Sasuage Party eh?