Your Worst Writing Moments (A Non-Depressing Thread)

[Moonpearl]

Note: To make it as clear as possible, don't give me copies of your most hated reviews or try to laugh about readers you don't like. That's the opposite of what this thread is for. Be humble and roast yourself, please.

As authors, it's really easy to get upset when something goes wrong with our writing and to hyperfocus on it and tell ourselves that we are failures. But failure is a requirement for art at all levels and learning to be comfortable with that is a core skill required to grow as a creator.

So, this thread is in celebration of when things go wrong. Please share your stories of messing up big time, You've Been Framed style.

I will start us off with a very small selection of the many, many, many times I have done the writing equivalent of trying to kick a ball and landing on my ass instead.

------------------------------------------------​

Story #1:
Back when I was 9 or younger, I wrote a 50 chapter novel for fun. It didn't actually conclude after 50 chapters, it's just that I gave it to my dad to read and he mocked it so much that I deleted it and gave up writing for a few years. To be fair to him, it was a masterpiece of comedy and should have been sent to a printer to be immortalised, so bad was it.

I was actually so young that I believed that thirteen year-olds were practically adults, so that's how I tried to write them. The whole "plot" was about an alien girl who was found out by her medieval village, chased into a modern-yet-not other world, briefly became a baker, found a boy who was being abused by his mother who then committed suicide and became a vampire to follow her back to the other world, and then...

Actually, there really was no coherent narrative. I also forgot that the village was angry at her, so they randomly welcomed them both back with open arms. Later two other kids committed suicide for no reason to join them as zombies too. There was a lot of unnecessary suicide. Apparently it was because I read a lot of edgy YA but didn't really understand what the edgy bits were supposed to be for.

The bit that really did it for my dad was when I forgot the word "priest" and thought that "pope" was a good substitute, which resulted in Pope John Paul II galavanting about a medieval village blessing thirteen year-old vampires and encouraging people to break the church windows with snowballs so they could be replaced yearly.


Story #2:
Does anyone remember songfic? Actually, do people still make songfic? That's the type of fanfiction where you take the lyrics of a song, use it to inspire a fanfiction, and then punctuate every part of your story with a line from the song, so everyone knows exactly what part you're on. Basically making a music video with writing, except cringy as hell and no one but you will ever like it.

Even as a kid, I really hated songfic. With a passion. But one day in primary school, we were given one of those "write your own creative story" tasks, and I really had no inspiration or desire to write that day.
To save my brain, I decided that I would challenge myself by writing a songfic with my OCs. It's a writer's privilege to try their hand at every type of story, is it not?
So I chose "Break Up" by Kim Sozzi (Cascada Remix). You know, "We should break up, 'cause baby I love when we kiss and make up (cue dance music for a minute)". This one:

This song is entirely about wanting hot make-up sex, but I was a kid and I just really liked the beat. Never mind the fact that there is 0 plot to this song: I just wrote about my male demon prince singing the lyrics from the top of a roof to his demon-hunting love interest and making her all confused and scared until he jumped down and forcefully stole a kiss from her. Sexual assault is hot guys - any little girl will tell you that!

It was so bad that the only feedback the teacher gave me was: "See me after class."
To this day, I really wonder what she was going to say to me. Was she angry that I didn't try? Confused that the "plot" made no narrative sense? Concerned that I clearly didn't understand the importance of consent?
I have no idea, because I was so cba that day that I walked out the door for break time instead and she never caught me or called me back, ever.


Story #3:
This one comes from when I was 14/15 and was playing a fantasy RPG that my friend and I made. (It's still going to this day and we're actually on the sequel, but this was really in its early days.)
At this point in my life, I was starting to unlearn all my internalised misogyny and I obviously wasn't that far along on my journey. I thought I was done, though - like, completely nailed it, no sexism from me ever again, I was the queen of unproblematic.
lol

Anyway, I really wanted to create a shamelessly crass, casual, sexually empowered woman - think a cross between Inuyasha and Miroku, but as a woman.
But I felt like I had to justify the fact that she "behaved like a man". So, I wrote that she was actually born a boy, but her parents lost a bet with a witch when she was a baby and the witch turned her into a girl. Her parents then died and she was raised by a distant aunt, so she grew up not knowing that she was "actually a man" until she was about twelve.
The worst part is that I was exactly the kind of tomboy I was trying to make this woman be, but the fact that my existence didn't need justified didn't occur to me at all.
To be clear, this was not my attempt to make commentary about trans people. It never even entered my mind. Maybe it could have been a "better" trainwreck if I was being willingly shit, because then my friend could have fought me about it, but I was just straight up hurting myself in my confusion.

Bless my friend, she tried. She gave me such a wtf look. She gently asked me if I didn't find that a bit weird. She really tried to express, without hurting my feelings, that I was writing utter baloney. I clearly cared a lot about this though, and she didn't want to risk a fight.

It was only after she was thoroughly written into the story and past the point of editing that I realised that I'd fucked up. To this day, she exists, being one of our best characters and yet a lasting testament to one of the stupidest moments in my life. I live daily with my mistakes.


Story #4:
Same game, same time period. I had a little prince who was a sorcerer (he's now a king with kids of his own). His teacher was the ghost of his ancestor who was killed by the goddess in this really dramatic, miserable way and, for extra tragedy, that was because a downside of magic is that the entity you contracted with would eventually get bored of you and lead you to your death for its own entertainment.

As a result of being a sorcerer, the boy was supposed to be more mature, extremely wise, and also have a strong intuition. He came to his knight one day and begged him not to leave him alone, because he felt that danger was coming and that he wasn't going to survive it. (Danger was coming. He was going to survive. This was just for drama.)

The knight (my friend's character) has no time for that nonsense (because I was always trying to create angsty shit) and puts him back to bed. But I wanted to make him feel guilty so, as he was closing the door, I hit him with this line:

"Night, Ankh." As you close the door behind you, he looks less like a child than ever, and more like a certain man in a tower watching the clock for his appointed death...

The "man in the tower" was supposed to be a reference to his teacher, who was put in the tower "for protection" and had to wait knowing that he was actually going to die there. I thought I was being really poetic. Super heartwrenching.

My friend stopped the game just to ask me if I could please not.

Jokes on her I killed him in a really dramatic way in the sequel and it was genuinely heartbreaking before I retconned it

-----------------------------------------------------​

So now you've heard four of my horror stories, it's time for your own. Don't be shy~! Better to laugh than cry.

 

[Maple-Leaf]

Dunno if this counts but, I once wrote an essay (benchmark test, I was like in third grade or something) about my favorite author. I didn't really like them that much, but they were the first author I could think of with off the tip of my tongue and I liked one of their book series. I wrote the whole thing like I was some super fan. It was a very exited page about everything I liked about them and filled with the childish naivete of a kid my age. If the author read it, they would probably feel moderately touched. But the whole time, I referred to the author as a she.

He's a guy.

I told my mom about this later and she was kinda proud because I assumed someone to be a girl, instead of automatically assuming it was a guy. I don't think it's admirable if he actually was a guy.

Needless to say, I pray that essay stays buried forever. I got a good grade for it though.



Oh and then there's the one I wrote that was addressed to Mr. Obama-

 

[DubstheDuke]

Oh I got one lemme see if I can find the thread

So basically I write a lot. Like, a lot. I write chapters daily, and each chapter has a minimum of 3k words. I write for my own personal enjoyment, and not for the purposes of making money or becoming popular, so I will be honest- I tend not to be very self conscious about my writing and perhaps this leads to it not being extremely good since I have no 'fear of releasing' so to speak.

Basically, someone left this review behind on my novel and it was such a big review that it was almost a joke.

"I dropped this here. Honestly, everything aside from the character creation has been a slog; I was hoping that nightmare mode might improve the story but.. whilst I like the weak to strong dynamic, it feels very poorly executed here to the point that the MCs are so weak that it's just frustrating to read. The only way for them to survive is to literally hope for luck as the author 'AuthorSME' wrote in his A Tail's Misfortune, "luck is for the weak and the strong make their own fate." The only way for them to get stronger is to rely purely on luck, there is no ability for them to be considered skilled or talented. I just can't respect or like characters who have no ability beyond pure chance (even the idea of dumping all points into luck stat is still a choice and not as bad as this.)

The only character I find remotely relatable is Ashley. Trevor and Garett come off like Robots and Samantha is just straight up annoying. I don't even want to know these characters.

The world setting doesn't interest me. The seeming lack of originality in the classes puts me off.

All in all this seems like a very boring, frustrating read. I can't help but feel you've wasted your time writing this (and mine reading it, but I only have myself and my stubborn attitude to keep reading hoping it'll get better for that.) Only 69 readers this far in. I wanted to like this, really I did. But it's just so.. bleh. It's like every terribly generic fantasy isekai JP web novel combined, taking away anything interesting or unique, throw in some random teeny bopper/child 'humour' (spikey hair gel? Really? That's funny to you?) and somehow came out as less than the sum of it's parts. And I'd know, I've read hundreds of them, from Death Mage who doesn't want a Fourth Time to Slime Datta Tensei and everything in between, for some reason my mind's drawing a blank on JP webnovel names because I've read thousands of novels by this point and most of them were a 6, maybe a 7 at best because of their generic (and thus forgettable) nature.

My point is; what is this man. What are you doing. Come on. This is like a bike with training wheels, the only people it appeals to are people who have never read anything before, your concepts are that basic. Though for such a person, you'd need to explain what the stats are etc, because they wouldn't know, so you don't even really hit that reader demographic.

It actually frustrates me to see that, you have the dedication to write hundreds of thousands of words; but THIS is what you do with it. It's like Thor using Mjolrnir to roast a chicken and just like said chicken after being hit by Godly Lightning, it's inedible.

Most authors write some 20k-30k words with an extremely interesting premise, but give up because they think they're not good enough writers or their story didn't go the way they wanted. I've read stories that have literally given me goosebumps and made my heart race, with less than 10k words before the author vanished; you have no idea how irritating, frustrating and all manner of negative emotions come to mind, it is when the novels that do get enough content to be at a point of binge reading, that this is what gets put out there. It's like going to a high class restaurant and they've hired a teenager from McDonalds to cook the meals. Your novel is the frozen, microwaved meal that's still cold in the middle; when there are Chefs who can blow people away with their cooking who are unemployed or working at a fucking Lobster Shack or Hooters just to make ends meet.

This is somewhat unfair to you, but you're part of a much larger problem and I'm so fucking fed up of the repeating cycle of somehow trash novels being the ones that could have provided days of entertainment, vs the actually good and unique novels that get dropped or go on Hiatus with an hour or two worth of binge reading.

It's like, you know when you go on Twitter and someone says something asinine like "we need to stop pollution!" and they somehow get thousands of retweets, but the guy with the tweet that actually proposes solutions and holds elected office where he can make an actual difference only gets like 80 retweets; it's exactly like that. It's like no one cares about anything real, with actual substance to it, they just want the basic platitudes, the surface level comments. Your novel is like the surface level comments with no real substance that somehow keeps getting retweeted and shared by people. And yeah, that's probably really harsh, but again, you're just part of a MUCH larger problem. I think what the problem really comes down to is like, a writer's form of Dunning-Kruger syndrome. Dumb people thinking they're smart and thus somehow succeeding in competition against actually intelligent people who second guess themselves and can actually analyze risk, so because the dumb people don't have any foresight for risk, they just go ahead and take reckless actions that somehow work out. Bad writers thinking they're great, whilst the great writers are too nervous and unwilling to get their works judged negatively so they just stop writing altogether to "rewrite" or go on "hiatus" and in the end, ALL OF US lose. The stories they keep in their minds are the ones we'll never get to read and I find it depressing and aggravating."

 

[Moonpearl]

Oh I got one lemme see if I can find the thread

So basically I write a lot. Like, a lot. I write chapters daily, and each chapter has a minimum of 3k words. I write for my own personal enjoyment, and not for the purposes of making money or becoming popular, so I will be honest- I tend not to be very self conscious about my writing and perhaps this leads to it not being extremely good since I have no 'fear of releasing' so to speak.

Basically, someone left this review behind on my novel and it was such a big review that it was almost a joke.

"I dropped this here. Honestly, everything aside from the character creation has been a slog; I was hoping that nightmare mode might improve the story but.. whilst I like the weak to strong dynamic, it feels very poorly executed here to the point that the MCs are so weak that it's just frustrating to read. The only way for them to survive is to literally hope for luck as the author 'AuthorSME' wrote in his A Tail's Misfortune, "luck is for the weak and the strong make their own fate." The only way for them to get stronger is to rely purely on luck, there is no ability for them to be considered skilled or talented. I just can't respect or like characters who have no ability beyond pure chance (even the idea of dumping all points into luck stat is still a choice and not as bad as this.)

The only character I find remotely relatable is Ashley. Trevor and Garett come off like Robots and Samantha is just straight up annoying. I don't even want to know these characters.

The world setting doesn't interest me. The seeming lack of originality in the classes puts me off.

All in all this seems like a very boring, frustrating read. I can't help but feel you've wasted your time writing this (and mine reading it, but I only have myself and my stubborn attitude to keep reading hoping it'll get better for that.) Only 69 readers this far in. I wanted to like this, really I did. But it's just so.. bleh. It's like every terribly generic fantasy isekai JP web novel combined, taking away anything interesting or unique, throw in some random teeny bopper/child 'humour' (spikey hair gel? Really? That's funny to you?) and somehow came out as less than the sum of it's parts. And I'd know, I've read hundreds of them, from Death Mage who doesn't want a Fourth Time to Slime Datta Tensei and everything in between, for some reason my mind's drawing a blank on JP webnovel names because I've read thousands of novels by this point and most of them were a 6, maybe a 7 at best because of their generic (and thus forgettable) nature.

My point is; what is this man. What are you doing. Come on. This is like a bike with training wheels, the only people it appeals to are people who have never read anything before, your concepts are that basic. Though for such a person, you'd need to explain what the stats are etc, because they wouldn't know, so you don't even really hit that reader demographic.

It actually frustrates me to see that, you have the dedication to write hundreds of thousands of words; but THIS is what you do with it. It's like Thor using Mjolrnir to roast a chicken and just like said chicken after being hit by Godly Lightning, it's inedible.

Most authors write some 20k-30k words with an extremely interesting premise, but give up because they think they're not good enough writers or their story didn't go the way they wanted. I've read stories that have literally given me goosebumps and made my heart race, with less than 10k words before the author vanished; you have no idea how irritating, frustrating and all manner of negative emotions come to mind, it is when the novels that do get enough content to be at a point of binge reading, that this is what gets put out there. It's like going to a high class restaurant and they've hired a teenager from McDonalds to cook the meals. Your novel is the frozen, microwaved meal that's still cold in the middle; when there are Chefs who can blow people away with their cooking who are unemployed or working at a fucking Lobster Shack or Hooters just to make ends meet.

This is somewhat unfair to you, but you're part of a much larger problem and I'm so fucking fed up of the repeating cycle of somehow trash novels being the ones that could have provided days of entertainment, vs the actually good and unique novels that get dropped or go on Hiatus with an hour or two worth of binge reading.

It's like, you know when you go on Twitter and someone says something asinine like "we need to stop pollution!" and they somehow get thousands of retweets, but the guy with the tweet that actually proposes solutions and holds elected office where he can make an actual difference only gets like 80 retweets; it's exactly like that. It's like no one cares about anything real, with actual substance to it, they just want the basic platitudes, the surface level comments. Your novel is like the surface level comments with no real substance that somehow keeps getting retweeted and shared by people. And yeah, that's probably really harsh, but again, you're just part of a MUCH larger problem. I think what the problem really comes down to is like, a writer's form of Dunning-Kruger syndrome. Dumb people thinking they're smart and thus somehow succeeding in competition against actually intelligent people who second guess themselves and can actually analyze risk, so because the dumb people don't have any foresight for risk, they just go ahead and take reckless actions that somehow work out. Bad writers thinking they're great, whilst the great writers are too nervous and unwilling to get their works judged negatively so they just stop writing altogether to "rewrite" or go on "hiatus" and in the end, ALL OF US lose. The stories they keep in their minds are the ones we'll never get to read and I find it depressing and aggravating."

Do you agree with the review, though?

 

[Draculus-del-Viafat]

As authors, it's really easy to get upset when something goes wrong with our writing and to hyperfocus on it and tell ourselves that we are failures. But failure is a requirement for art at all levels and learning to be comfortable with that is a core skill required to grow as a creator.

So, this thread is in celebration of when things go wrong. Please share your stories of messing up big time, You've Been Framed style.

I will start us off with a very small selection of the many, many, many times I have done the writing equivalent of trying to kick a ball and landing on my ass instead.

------------------------------------------------​

Story #1:
Back when I was 9 or younger, I wrote a 50 chapter novel for fun. It didn't actually conclude after 50 chapters, it's just that I gave it to my dad to read and he mocked it so much that I deleted it and gave up writing for a few years. To be fair to him, it was a masterpiece of comedy and should have been sent to a printer to be immortalised, so bad was it.

I was actually so young that I believed that thirteen year-olds were practically adults, so that's how I tried to write them. The whole "plot" was about an alien girl who was found out by her medieval village, chased into a modern-yet-not other world, briefly became a baker, found a boy who was being abused by his mother who then committed suicide and became a vampire to follow her back to the other world, and then...

Actually, there really was no coherent narrative. I also forgot that the village was angry at her, so they randomly welcomed them both back with open arms. Later two other kids committed suicide for no reason to join them as zombies too. There was a lot of unnecessary suicide. Apparently it was because I read a lot of edgy YA but didn't really understand what the edgy bits were supposed to be for.

The bit that really did it for my dad was when I forgot the word "priest" and thought that "pope" was a good substitute, which resulted in Pope John Paul II galavanting about a medieval village blessing thirteen year-old vampires and encouraging people to break the church windows with snowballs so they could be replaced yearly.


Story #2:
Does anyone remember songfic? Actually, do people still make songfic? That's the type of fanfiction where you take the lyrics of a song, use it to inspire a fanfiction, and then punctuate every part of your story with a line from the song, so everyone knows exactly what part you're on. Basically making a music video with writing, except cringy as hell and no one but you will ever like it.

Even as a kid, I really hated songfic. With a passion. But one day in primary school, we were given one of those "write your own creative story" tasks, and I really had no inspiration or desire to write that day.
To save my brain, I decided that I would challenge myself by writing a songfic with my OCs. It's a writer's privilege to try their hand at every type of story, is it not?
So I chose "Break Up" by Kim Sozzi (Cascada Remix). You know, "We should break up, 'cause baby I love when we kiss and make up (cue dance music for a minute)". This one:

This song is entirely about wanting hot make-up sex, but I was a kid and I just really liked the beat. Never mind the fact that there is 0 plot to this song: I just wrote about my male demon prince singing the lyrics from the top of a roof to his demon-hunting love interest and making her all confused and scared until he jumped down and forcefully stole a kiss from her. Sexual assault is hot guys - any little girl will tell you that!

It was so bad that the only feedback the teacher gave me was: "See me after class."
To this day, I really wonder what she was going to say to me. Was she angry that I didn't try? Confused that the "plot" made no narrative sense? Concerned that I clearly didn't understand the importance of consent?
I have no idea, because I was so cba that day that I walked out the door for break time instead and she never caught me or called me back, ever.


Story #3:
This one comes from when I was 14/15 and was playing a fantasy RPG that my friend and I made. (It's still going to this day and we're actually on the sequel, but this was really in its early days.)
At this point in my life, I was starting to unlearn all my internalised misogyny and I obviously wasn't that far along on my journey. I thought I was done, though - like, completely nailed it, no sexism from me ever again, I was the queen of unproblematic.
lol

Anyway, I really wanted to create a shamelessly crass, casual, sexually empowered woman - think a cross between Inuyasha and Miroku, but as a woman.
But I felt like I had to justify the fact that she "behaved like a man". So, I wrote that she was actually born a boy, but her parents lost a bet with a witch when she was a baby and the witch turned her into a girl. Her parents then died and she was raised by a distant aunt, so she grew up not knowing that she was "actually a man" until she was about twelve.
The worst part is that I was exactly the kind of tomboy I was trying to make this woman be, but the fact that my existence didn't need justified didn't occur to me at all.
To be clear, this was not my attempt to make commentary about trans people. It never even entered my mind. Maybe it could have been a "better" trainwreck if I was being willingly shit, because then my friend could have fought me about it, but I was just straight up hurting myself in my confusion.

Bless my friend, she tried. She gave me such a wtf look. She gently asked me if I didn't find that a bit weird. She really tried to express, without hurting my feelings, that I was writing utter baloney. I clearly cared a lot about this though, and she didn't want to risk a fight.

It was only after she was thoroughly written into the story and past the point of editing that I realised that I'd fucked up. To this day, she exists, being one of our best characters and yet a lasting testament to one of the stupidest moments in my life. I live daily with my mistakes.


Story #4:
Same game, same time period. I had a little prince who was a sorcerer (he's now a king with kids of his own). His teacher was the ghost of his ancestor who was killed by the goddess in this really dramatic, miserable way and, for extra tragedy, that was because a downside of magic is that the entity you contracted with would eventually get bored of you and lead you to your death for its own entertainment.

As a result of being a sorcerer, the boy was supposed to be more mature, extremely wise, and also have a strong intuition. He came to his knight one day and begged him not to leave him alone, because he felt that danger was coming and that he wasn't going to survive it. (Danger was coming. He was going to survive. This was just for drama.)

The knight (my friend's character) has no time for that nonsense (because I was always trying to create angsty shit) and puts him back to bed. But I wanted to make him feel guilty so, as he was closing the door, I hit him with this line:


The "man in the tower" was supposed to be a reference to his teacher, who was put in the tower "for protection" and had to wait knowing that he was actually going to die there. I thought I was being really poetic. Super heartwrenching.

My friend stopped the game just to ask me if I could please not.

Jokes on her I killed him in a really dramatic way in the sequel and it was genuinely heartbreaking before I rectonned it

-----------------------------------------------------​

So now you've heard four of my horror stories, it's time for your own. Don't be shy~! Better to laugh than cry.

There was a story I was so bloody serious about I wanted to finish and publish it, I was absolutely sure it'll be a success. But it was plagiarised from The Lion King 2, and the main characters were all wolves that had their own kingdoms and everything, there were even wolf pirates that I admired so much I didn't want to let go. But I was a kid at the time and wanted to write about animals only, being sure I'll never start writing about humans or even mentioning them in my novels. Huh. The main character's name was Ingrid. She was a kind of princess among wolves 'cause her father was a king or something. She was all perfection, so kind and smart and beautiful and everything. But once whe violated her father's rule and went somehwere she wasn't supposed to be and met a boy named Yan there. Yan was from another kingdom that only contained the exhiled criminals and their children as well, so it was forbidden for them to cross the border of another kingdom. The pups became friends, then lovers, but no one knew about that. Then Ingrid's father, the king, decides that their pack needs... something... And they form a team that was supposed to go and look for some treasures, probably legendary and unreal, but for some reason, they needed it urgently. Yan's mother, I don't remeber her name, was the antagonist who wanted to kill Ingrid's father and everyone in their pack, so she came up with an evil plan. She was going to follow their team with her own and then hunt them down when the time is right and no one is there to help. She sends Yan as a spy to join Ingrid's father pack, so the boy suffers of unsurity: whether he has to warn Ingrid and betray his family, or betray the girl he loves but help his poor mommy. The both teams leave for treasures and meet some wolf-pirates who agree to help on a term that the treasure will be shared with them. So everyone goes on their ship, including Yan's mother's team (they sneak onto the ship secretly and hide), and then the pirates' captain named Ravi tells everyone that the way to get to the treasure is difficult and dangerous and magical, actually. Then he does that thing from the Pirates of the Caribbean when the ship flips upside down and then back, appearing in abother world. The ship wrecks, half of the team dies, but the rest still goes for the treasure. They find an empty castle where the tresure is hidden, they go inside and realise there's a magical dragon who was created by a wolf-mage (who used to own the treasure before he died), and that dragon is bloody dangerous. That's the moment when Yan's mother reveals herself and tries to kill everyone, but then the dragon comes out and wants to kill absolutely everybody because he's supposed to protect the treasure. So everything goes amiss, chaotic, someone dies because the dragon has that kind of magical fire that doesn't burn to ashes but turns into stone. Yan sees that Ingrid and his mother are in danger, so he makes a decision in the last moment and protects Ingrid, sacrifying his life, and turns into stone. But the dragon's magic does something weird: it turns Yan into stone but jumps off him and strikes the dragon so it runs away. Yan dies slowly, not like everyone else, and his mother dies immediately. But then Ingrid starts crying over Yan and he comes back to life. Like in those memes. The reason of it is that he was ready to die for her so magic wasn't strong enough to kill him. Then everyone looks what the treasure is and find out that there're only two amulets, filled with magic, though I don't remember what they were for. Yan and Ingrid get married. The main idea was that friendship and true love and support are the most precious treasures anyone can ever posses.
I was bloody romantic.
~~~
Then I got inspired by the Twilight saga and started writing an obvious pragiarised thing about a boy who met a weird family at school. Its members turned out to suck human blood and have some magic, but no one knew except the boy, Antonio, so he became a kind of that family's friend. But there were also the evil vampires who wanted to kill Antonio even though the family trusted him and protected him. He's never told anyone their secret so why should he die? But the evil vampires (Volturi, as you could guess) had some werewolves-vampires who served them so they were bloody dangerous. I don't remember why but they agreed to leave the boy alive for some reason. Then Antonio grows up, something happens to him, and the family turns into a vampire.
What was I thinking about?..
~~~
Oh, and how could I forget the story about a flutter of freaking serious sparrows who almost killed a cat?.. My teachers were reading that stuff. I'm still humiliated by this. I was writing about those sparrows as if like they were a mighty eagle clan.

 

[Moonpearl]

[REDACTED]

Sorry to double post, but I saw this edit and I have to say this now:

This thread is NOT for complaining about the bad reviews you receive or the reader opinions that you don't like. There are a thousand threads in the forum like that and I'm a bit sick of them.

This thread is for genuinely acknowledging your mistakes and making fun of them. It's for light-hearted self-roasting, and it should be self-roasting.

If I go to sleep tonight and wake up to everyone bitching about their "haters" again, I'm sending you all to the naughty corner for all eternity.

 

[DubstheDuke]

Do you agree with the review, though?

Mmm good question.

There are parts I don't agree with, especially the part about it being my fault that good writers don't post. That isn't my fault at all.

The part about me being drunk on my own writing? Eh, I kinda agree with it. I mean, I understand that my story is the mcdonalds mass produced garbage as opposed to fine dining, but that doesn't mean it isn't good. I enjoy it just as much as the fine dining, so does that matter?

The actual complaints about the story itself? Haha. He only read the first 11 chapters. Out of over 200 posted. Many of the issues he discussed were resolved very quickly after he quit.

 

[Moonpearl]

Mmm good question.

There are parts I don't agree with, especially the part about it being my fault that good writers don't post. That isn't my fault at all.

The part about me being drunk on my own writing? Eh, I kinda agree with it. I mean, I understand that my story is the mcdonalds mass produced garbage as opposed to fine dining, but that doesn't mean it isn't good. I enjoy it just as much as the fine dining, so does that matter?

The actual complaints about the story itself? Haha. He only read the first 11 chapters. Out of over 200 posted. Many of the issues he discussed were resolved very quickly after he quit.

Then please see my above post. I don't want to laugh at a reviewer, I want to laugh with other authors about our cringy mistakes.

 

[Moonpearl]

Sorry bout' that . Just felt it fitting as a fellow bad author, I can delete it if you want

Can you? I can see people ignoring my warnings and starting a long discussion about that, and there are no mods here to contain the situation. (And thank you~!)

 

[Maple-Leaf]

Can you? I can see people ignoring my warnings and starting a long discussion about that, and there are no mods here to contain the situation. (And thank you~!)

Yes ma'am!

 

[ChubbyLiv]

I think I was in 7th grade when the language teacher gave us an assignment, "Caricature in descriptive writing."

I hated this particular teacher as much as I hated literature classes and essays. So yeah, while my classmates described their family members, I went all out and wrote a whole essay on how ugly the teacher was. I hid her identity under a facade of a nightmare that came to our class to be a new teacher, describing her as a molding alien with fake hair, a creature similar to an octopus. I poured my soul into it, so just imagine all the gross things a 7th grader could come up with.

The result...

I got the best grade...

I was forced to read that shameful piece of work before all my classmates...

So embarrassing...

As we often badmouthed the teacher behind her back, my classmates caught a few hints that I was writing about her, I also shared my essay with some kids to compare before classes...

And that's how I received my first sitting ovation with occasional whistling, and cheering.

When I saw that teacher's clueless and proud expression...

Pfft...

What came to my mind was... What if she got to know the truth one day? Would I lose all the benefits of being viewed as a good student? Ah, whatever, I regret nothing. It was the first time I felt proud of my essay.??

 

[TLCsDestiny]

I wrote a story in school and it was full of stuff I hadn't ever experienced.
When 2 people did the deed there was no explanation to how it might have happened, like perhaps did the girl initiate or boy?
I wrote like everyone was the same, not their own character, even though it was losely based on friends in the real world.
It didn't have much of a plot and to be honest I'm embarrassed about it lol.

Reading others mistakes has made me feel more normal. Thanks lol.

 

[JustLookingForSomeChange]

Hmm, the story that comes to mind is when I was in the tenth grade, in my first creative writing class. Our first assignment was to write a short story, so I went home and wrote a thirty-page draft and submitted it the next day, thinking Hell yeah, I definitely got the best mark in the class! A month later, I'd forgotten all about it and she starts to hand them back, but opens off by saying that several people went above the page limit, and they clearly didn't listen to her instructions. I'm sitting there like, Oh, shit, what was the limit? Twenty-five? What if it was like fifteen? Fuck! I was tripping because for every page a person was over the limit, they lost a letter grade. She laughs and says, "Don't worry, guys. I went easy on you this time around, at least you're not (my name), who submitted this"–and she slaps the huge booklet-like pile of papers onto her desk, all exasperated–"and kept me up all night because I'm a good teacher." Everyone looked at me and I just laughed, thinking Fuck me. She says, "I set a two page limit, and he writes me a novel." She wasn't too serious, and I got a B- in the end.

 

[Maple-Leaf]

Wait if I don't have very many of these, does that mean I'll experience this embarrassment again some day?

 

[Moonpearl]

Wait if I don't have very many of these, does that mean I'll experience this embarrassment again some day?

Maybe you just don't remember very many of them? I'm rememembering a lot more that I buried in my memory now that I'm reading everyone else's stories.

Although you'll definitely know this embarassment again~! It's our fate as writers. I know I'm going to live through it in a few months when I force my friend to do our "stuck in a musical" arc for one of our games.

 

[Nahrenne]

I had written a smutty scene for a story I scrapped about 3 years ago now.
I had been sending copies of my story to my family - via email - while I was at uni at the time.
At some point, I don't know how, I ended up getting a mini-email virus that sent out spam emails to anyone I'd sent an email to...
...Needless to say...about a day or two after this started, I received an email from my uni professor with a copy of the email he got from me containing parts of said smutty scene from my story.

He politely stated in the email that he thought I had a virus...and left it at that.

The worst part is that the majority of my lectures at the time were with him...
orz

X

 

[ChubbyLiv]

Oh, my goddess, I remember when I had no idea how to write smut scenes and decided to experiment my skills on a side virgin couple first before getting real with my main couple.

My hard work resulted in this shameful post: Me, asking people what pēnis synonyms they like the most. ?

Yep, I'm not kidding... ?‍

The proof is below. ?

A man's private area. (18+)

When readind/writing novels, what names do you prefer for a man's private area? :blob_hide: I feel awkard when I need to choose a correct form for smut scenes. I don't want my readers to be turned off. :blob_teary:

forum.scribblehub.com

To get a good laugh, I recommend you check it out; some comments are pure gold.??

 

[Maple-Leaf]

Oh, my goddess, I remember when I had no idea how to write smut scenes and decided to experiment my skills on a side virgin couple first before getting real with my main couple.

My hard work resulted in this shameful post: Me, asking people what pēnis synonyms they like the most. ?

Yep, I'm not kidding... ?‍

The proof is below. ?

A man's private area. (18+)

When readind/writing novels, what names do you prefer for a man's private area? :blob_hide: I feel awkard when I need to choose a correct form for smut scenes. I don't want my readers to be turned off. :blob_teary:

forum.scribblehub.com

To get a good laugh, I recommend you check it out; some comments are pure gold.??

I think I remember that! Was that the deleted chapter?
Also the replies were hilarious XD

 

[Moonpearl]

Here's one that I found out about quite recently~!

So, despite being the Yuri Garden creator, I wasn't much into yuri as a kid - I was a big BL fangirl. But I did write my first yuri story during my fanfiction writing days.
That's because I used to be really, really involved with the Princess Tutu fandom (you never really leave the fandom, just wave goodbye for a while), and I discovered one day while browsing around on Fanfiction.net that there was absolutely no Ahiru x Rue fanfiction. Not one bit. And, for some reason, that was like a personal offence to me.

So I wrote this so-so horror romance based on the story of Coppelia. In it, Rue was a star dancer at the academy, and she was upset that her partner/boyfriend, Mytho, had disappeared. She meets Ahiru, a very strange girl who loves dancing but dances really woodenly, and begins falling in love... But then it turned out that Ahiru was a doll who, with the help of her creator, was turning ballet dancers into dolls in order to steal their humanity for herself. She was attracted to Rue because she was walking around thanks to stealing Mytho's lifeforce. It ended with her stealing Rue's too.

I've always been proud that I wrote the first Ahiru x Rue fanfiction on that site.

Now, when I make feedback forms and the like for the Yuri Garden, I sometimes like to include little presents at the end to incentivise people to answer. And I thought that it might be fun to give a link to this story, as a little "let's roast Moonpearl's cringy teenage self".

But, when I tracked the story down, what did I find?

First, it was super short. I remember writing a whole lot more than that, but it's just a list of events you can speed through in like five minutes.

Secondly, there was no yuri. There wasn't even enough to call it borderline yuribait.

I remember writing these long, lingering looks, these intimate dances, these great fluttering feelings... But I read that thing five times and couldn't find a trace of any of it.
The only explanation that I can think of is that I, while writing it, spent all my time fantasising about how I was going to write these scenes - and then forgot to actually do it.

I ended up not sharing it with the Garden because it wasn't even worthy. fml

 

[Maple-Leaf]

Here's one that I found out about quite recently~!

So, despite being the Yuri Garden creator, I wasn't much into yuri as a kid - I was a big BL fangirl. But I did write my first yuri story during my fanfiction writing days.
That's because I used to be really, really involved with the Princess Tutu fandom (you never really leave the fandom, just wave goodbye for a while), and I discovered one day while browsing around on Fanfiction.net that there was absolutely no Ahiru x Rue fanfiction. Not one bit. And, for some reason, that was like a personal offence to me.

So I wrote this so-so horror romance based on the story of Coppelia. In it, Rue was a star dancer at the academy, and she was upset that her partner/boyfriend, Mytho, had disappeared. She meets Ahiru, a very strange girl who loves dancing but dances really woodenly, and begins falling in love... But then it turned out that Ahiru was a doll who, with the help of her creator, was turning ballet dancers into dolls in order to steal their humanity for herself. She was attracted to Rue because she was walking around thanks to stealing Mytho's lifeforce. It ended with her stealing Rue's too.

I've always been proud that I wrote the first Ahiru x Rue fanfiction on that site.

Now, when I make feedback forms and the like for the Yuri Garden, I sometimes like to include little presents at the end to incentivise people to answer. And I thought that it might be fun to give a link to this story, as a little "let's roast Moonpearl's cringy teenage self".

But, when I tracked the story down, what did I find?

First, it was super short. I remember writing a whole lot more than that, but it's just a list of events you can speed through in like five minutes.

Secondly, there was no yuri. There wasn't even enough to call it borderline yuribait.

I remember writing these long, lingering looks, these intimate dances, these great fluttering feelings... But I read that thing five times and couldn't find a trace of any of it.
The only explanation that I can think of is that I, while writing it, spent all my time fantasising about how I was going to write these scenes - and then forgot to actually do it.

I ended up not sharing it with the Garden because it wasn't even worthy. fml

I have a GL story hidden in the depths of my brain...

I wonder if it will ever make it out alive.
Then maybe I can include it in this thread.