This daoist assumes your new novel is directly inspired from these two:
Ashlock awoke in the courtyard of a demonic sect... as a tree. A tree that eats people. And one that grows stronger over time due to a daily sign-in system and cultivation. ---- Chapters 12-90 had to be removed to satisfy Kindle Unlimited's exclusivity clause. You can find book one...
www.scribblehub.com
Story about Matt an OP tree in a fantasy world. Contains timeskips (lots of it), citybuilding/dungeonbuilding… Warning : Chapters 3 to 41 has been deleted as Tree of Aeons gets ready for it's amazon release. Thanks for your support. Chapters 42 to 81 has been deleted for the Book 2 Launch on...
www.scribblehub.com
I liked reading one. I did not like reading the other.
A strange insight. Cultivation is a genre that has been done to death, but some are interesting. Your gimmick is interesting, but it has also already been done, and suddenly, the gimmick becomes boring. Your novel will need something to make it different from the other tree novels, and it will need something to make it different from system novels.
I will only read and give feedback on chapter 1.
This daoist will be upfront. This daoist likes reading some system novels and hates most of them. This daoist likes reading some overpowered main character novels and hates most of them. This daoist likes reading half of the tree novels and disliked the other half. Understand that due to the nature of this novel, it
lowers my base opinion of it.
Your main character seems like he knows and doesn't know simultaneously. Choose one or the other. Does the tree know that flowers grow fruits or not? Does the tree know about
dantian or not?
From what is written, it introduces what actually is and what the system allows, but how it is written is like a sour note in a tea's sweet tone. It is possible to write it in a way that the main character "half-knows," but for the time being, this daoist can only describe it like reading the thoughts of a skilled professional who is confused about their own job.
This is an insignificant detail, but call it by an actual term (dantian, elixir field, energy core, core, etc.), or a custom term you will use for your own worldbuilding. Either use
dantian or never use it. Writing teasing jabs at cultivation tropes can add comedic value
justifiably because a lot of them are bad, but this one encroaches upon the border of making fun of the actual language.
This is also a reminder that "core" may be confusing if you also have plans for the main character to cultivate a "golden core."
Heh. ?
E = mc2
Use a comparison with a "spirit stone" or how many incense sticks it would take to generate this amount of energy instead, because this is not describing the energy it takes to form an ounce of mass.
Ten years lol.
This is an example of why this daoist despises system novels. Because I have to ask myself at the end of this chapter: did the power feel earned? The answer is no.
According to this daoist's insights, there only exist two stable paths, one where the system gives the main character everything needed to be overpowered at the start, or one where the system gives the main character everything needed to be overpowered as the story progresses. It is true that ten years have passed for the main character, but I also only read one chapter. Slow, yet not slow. In the continent this daoist practices cultivation, it is almost unheard of for a cultivator to improve the quality of their spiritual root. Most known methods were either fake, described in myth or forbidden texts, or only reserved for the most wealthy able to bear the absurdly high costs and low efficacy.
Why would they pay so much to use those methods? Because even with poor returns, it is the only known way. Do you think fifty-thousand year spirit ginseng roots grow everywhere? Let's not even discuss what demonic cultivators would do.
Coughs this daoist has gone off-topic.
The attained Heavenly Spiritual Root is neither earned nor gifted by the system. Instead, the main character "earned" the improvement through "pain and hard work." In a sense, this daoist feels bitter about the development, because it looks like chapter 1 had double-dipped in both the weak to strong and the suddenly overpowered paths.
There is more that this daoist wished to cover like potential plots and the main character's personality, but this has already taken rather long to write and must return to closed door seclusion
coughs.
This is also not a critique, but I recommend fellow daoist add the LitRPG genre and the Comedic Undertone tag to the novel.
