Would you rather me to sweat on you, lick you or pee on you?

[NotaNuffian]

For context, I was doing my clerical work, which sounded like I am a cleric, something cool and also disturbing, but I am just a plainass clerk doing paper counting.

So earlier on when I ran out of water for my thumb and index to count the stack, I decided to rub them on my forehead for some moisture to better count the paper. It happened to be a reflex action as I am the only one in office who can still sweat like a pig even in winter or icebox and I got the job done and proper.

Problem came when I had to deal with another stack and my manager who was watching at the side walked up to my cubicle and complained how disgusting it was that I used my sweat and should stop it. Then I asked whether I could get a cold drink (for the precipitate) or a cup of water to wet my fingers, no was my reply as he walked off. So then I decided to suck my fingers and started counting. He immediately rushed back and told me to stop that.

I gave him an ultimatum, either I go get something wet or I would use the damp spot on my crotch for wetting. I now got hold of a table cloth that is wet though.

Ps. While typing and yawning, I think I have a fourth option in tears, but I don't want to stick my fingers with moldy smell thanks to the aged paper into my oculars, so no.

 

[Amok]

shit modern workplaces sounds like gulags if the operaters aren't even willing to give their chattel water

 

[Sola-sama]

You should pee on your manager to show dominance

 

[KiraMinoru]

Male feral hogs pee on each other as a greeting.

 

[RepresentingCaution]

Sweat is annoying, but it's not a deal breaker.

 

[RepresentingWrath]

Is this a shitpost? I'm not sure. Anyway, everyone uses spit here and doesn't care. There is something like a wet sponge in shops, at home, or when you don't have access to moisturizer, people usually lick their finger slightly.

 

[NotaNuffian]

Is this a shitpost? I'm not sure. Anyway, everyone uses spit here and doesn't care. There is something like a wet sponge in shops, at home, or when you don't have access to moisturizer, people usually lick their finger slightly.

Yup, on the random things in my life that just popped up out of nowhere.

I get that licking had been a method, but thanks to the two years conditioning of mask and trying not to touch face, I derive my water source from somewhere else, ie my forehead.

 

[RepresentingWrath]

Yup, on the random things in my life that just popped up out of nowhere.

I get that licking had been a method, but thanks to the two years conditioning of mask and trying not to touch face, I derive my water source from somewhere else, ie my forehead.

Sweat stinks, unlike spit. Though, if you didn't brush your teeth or ate something and didn't wash it down with water, it won't be any better. And I always forget about masks. Probably because we heroically defeated covid in our country(sarcasm), and you shouldn't wear masks anymore.

 

[NotaNuffian]

Sweat stinks, unlike spit. Though, if you didn't brush your teeth or ate something and didn't wash it down with water, it won't be any better. And I always forget about masks. Probably because we heroically defeated covid in our country(sarcasm), and you shouldn't wear masks anymore.

Then the option of using my bodily fluid to do auditing should had never been on the table.

I blame the manager and my laziness to convenience.

 

[BenJepheneT]

I should shit directly into your lunch bowl that you even considered making this post holy fuck I want my 3 minutes' worth of reading comprehension back

 

[Representing_Tromba]

Spit has healing properties caused by a chemical our bodies produce. This chemical acts as a pain reliever that is several times more potent than morphine but because we produce so little of it we don't feel the affects. The chemical is called Opiorphin.