Would Love Some Feedback! ☮️

[Cookiez_N_Potionz]

Hacking The System: KINGDOM OF STONE [LitRPG]

'Freedom. Peace. Hope.' It's 1979 and society has advanced thanks to the urban dungeons that sprouted throughout America. Inside these mazes are magical artifacts and treasures guarded by mythical monsters. To collect these spoils of war Guilds were established by the Radical Guilds...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Sunsetinapainting]

I'll check it out

 

[MFontana]

Hacking The System: KINGDOM OF STONE [LitRPG]

'Freedom. Peace. Hope.' It's 1979 and society has advanced thanks to the urban dungeons that sprouted throughout America. Inside these mazes are magical artifacts and treasures guarded by mythical monsters. To collect these spoils of war Guilds were established by the Radical Guilds...

www.scribblehub.com

Was there anything specific you wanted feedback on?
Or are you just looking for general critique?

 

[Cookiez_N_Potionz]

Was there anything specific you wanted feedback on?
Or are you just looking for general critique?

Just general feedback

 

[MFontana]

Just general feedback

Alright. I'll put it at the top of my list for when I'm feeling better.
Sick w/ Covid atm.

 

[Cookiez_N_Potionz]

Alright. I'll put it at the top of my list for when I'm feeling better.
Sick w/ Covid atm.

Yikes, get better Mike!

 

[Cookiez_N_Potionz]

I'll check it out

Thx

 

[K_Nishi]

I felt that this story skillfully transplants the Korean-origin dungeon genre format into 1979 American society, portraying the lives of women constrained and bound by social expectations with striking realism.

What is truly terrifying—monsters, or the system itself?

It is a story that confronts the reader head-on with fear rooted in reality, and one that strongly captures my interest.

 

[MFontana]

Hacking The System: KINGDOM OF STONE [LitRPG]

'Freedom. Peace. Hope.' It's 1979 and society has advanced thanks to the urban dungeons that sprouted throughout America. Inside these mazes are magical artifacts and treasures guarded by mythical monsters. To collect these spoils of war Guilds were established by the Radical Guilds...

www.scribblehub.com

Read the first chapter, and will try to type up the critique on it later tonight if I'm feeling up for it.
Been doing a bit better today (so far), so just let me know whether you'd like it here, or left in your inbox.

As is usually the case, I'll be focusing primarily on the technical aspects and execution of your authorial vision.

As for whether I liked it or not, I can safely say I rather enjoyed what I read of the story so far, and have every intention of continuing to read.

 

[MFontana]

Finished the Chapter 1 critique, and sent it (via private conversation). There's a lot there to digest and the forum thread just isn't the ideal place for it.
As I mentioned there, I genuinely hope it helps.

 

[Cookiez_N_Potionz]

Finished the Chapter 1 critique, and sent it (via private conversation). There's a lot there to digest and the forum thread just isn't the ideal place for it.
As I mentioned there, I genuinely hope it helps.

Your a cool guy, Mike.

 

[Yusrohemendator]

Hacking The System: KINGDOM OF STONE [LitRPG]

'Freedom. Peace. Hope.' It's 1979 and society has advanced thanks to the urban dungeons that sprouted throughout America. Inside these mazes are magical artifacts and treasures guarded by mythical monsters. To collect these spoils of war Guilds were established by the Radical Guilds...

www.scribblehub.com

I'm invested in the story already, is there specific aspect you would like me to focus on?

 

[Cookiez_N_Potionz]

I'm invested in the story already, is there specific aspect you would like me to focus on?

Not really.

I already know my grammar and atmosphere needs to be improved. But you can comment on anything you notice even if it's things I already mentioned.