Hello everyone,
I’ve just launched a new project, The Strongest Assassin & The Weakest Princess, and I’m looking for some honest feedback on the first two chapters (about 2k-3k words total).
www.scribblehub.com
The Concept:
I’m attempting to blend a classic Eastern Cultivation setting with a gritty, Western-style "Noir" narrative voice. Think The Witcher meets Xianxia. I want to avoid the "robotic" dialogue often seen in the genre and focus on character chemistry and subtext.
What I specifically need help with:
The POV Switch: Chapter 1 is from the Assassin’s POV (Deep Third Person), and Chapter 2 switches to the Princess. Does this transition feel jarring, or does it help build the world?
The Dialogue: I’m trying to make the banter between the "Cynical Assassin" and the "Dignified Princess" feel natural but sharp. Does their chemistry land in Chapter 2, or does it feel forced?
Pacing: I tried to pack a lot into Chapter 2 (The Coronation, The Assassination, and the Aftermath). Does it feel rushed, or does the pacing hold up?
I’m thick-skinned, so please don’t hold back. I’d rather know now if the tone is off before I write Chapter 3!
Thanks in advance!
I’ve just launched a new project, The Strongest Assassin & The Weakest Princess, and I’m looking for some honest feedback on the first two chapters (about 2k-3k words total).
The Strongest Assassin & The Weakest Princess
He is known as the strongest. She is labeled the weakest. Raikynn was trained solely for killing; every aspect of his humanity was erased along with the blood he shed, leaving behind nothing but a weapon; sharp, compliant, and devoid of emotion. When freedom finally arrives, it comes in the...
The Concept:
I’m attempting to blend a classic Eastern Cultivation setting with a gritty, Western-style "Noir" narrative voice. Think The Witcher meets Xianxia. I want to avoid the "robotic" dialogue often seen in the genre and focus on character chemistry and subtext.
What I specifically need help with:
The POV Switch: Chapter 1 is from the Assassin’s POV (Deep Third Person), and Chapter 2 switches to the Princess. Does this transition feel jarring, or does it help build the world?
The Dialogue: I’m trying to make the banter between the "Cynical Assassin" and the "Dignified Princess" feel natural but sharp. Does their chemistry land in Chapter 2, or does it feel forced?
Pacing: I tried to pack a lot into Chapter 2 (The Coronation, The Assassination, and the Aftermath). Does it feel rushed, or does the pacing hold up?
I’m thick-skinned, so please don’t hold back. I’d rather know now if the tone is off before I write Chapter 3!
Thanks in advance!
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