which is better sounding and clear?

[ManwX]

I got a scene that I wrote with two different styles. can you tell which one is better? More impactful with a better grasp on what happening? Don't worry about the terms like terra shard. etc just give me your opinions. Im thinking about how to approach this as I write it.

Scene 1
A little more complex.

Alex steeled himself for the task at hand, his breath steady but strained. The wind's relentless pressure and the cacophony of sounds it created were already getting on his nerves, yet he reached down, his fingers gently encircling the terra-shard embedded in his abdomen. He counted to one, then yanked it free. A scream tore from his throat as blood spurted from the wound. his body convulsing in agony as he gritted his teeth. his sapphire-blue eyes became bloodshot and swollen. Yet he didn't relent reflecting his determination. He hadn't come this far to surrender so easily.

"This is nothing, Alex," he told himself. The thoughts were a desperate attempt to bolster his flagging confidence. "You've endured far worse. This is child's play compared to the suffering you experienced as a child. You will survive. You have to."

From his limited perspective, as could not stand up. By the feeling of touch and his senses, he could tell the shard hadn't fully pierced him. Alex was fortunate, at least in that regard. Reaching into a pocket of his mechanic jumpsuit, retrieving a small container. Alex popped it open, revealing a substance that resembled white goo. With a grimace expression, he applied it to his wound.

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scene 2
Simplistic approach

As Alex braced himself for what he was about to do, he focused on steady breathing, attempting to calm himself. The wind's pressure and the intense sounds surrounding him already stressed him out, but he gently gripped the terra-shard that was lodged in his stomach. Counting to one, he pulled it out, letting out a scream as the pain surged, and blood gushed from the wound. Despite the agony, he hurried to the next step, his body twitching as he clenched his teeth. His once Safire blue eyes were now swollen and red, yet he persisted. Giving up easily was not an option; he hadn't come this far to give up.
"This is nothing, Alex. You have been through worse. This is child's play compared to the suffering you endured as a child. You will make it out, you have to," Alex thought, trying to muster confidence from within.
From what he could see, the shard hadn't pierced him completely, so he considered himself lucky.

From a pocket of his mechanic jumpsuit, he retrieved a small container. He opened it, revealing a chunk of white, goo-like substance. With a frown on his face, he took a chunk of it and applied it to his wound.

which one paints the better picture?

 

[Tempokai]

First scene shows more emotions and shows more gritty outlook. Second one shows the events, but doesn't enter the inner workings of the MC.
If the MC isn't the main focus of the story I'd chosen the second, but first is better overall.

P.S Try to somehow merge them? Idk, but I feel that it would help.

 

[ManwX]

First scene shows more emotions and shows more gritty outlook. Second one shows the events, but doesn't enter the inner workings of the MC.
If the MC isn't the main focus of the story I'd chosen the second, but first is better overall.

P.S Try to somehow merge them? Idk, but I feel that it would help.

ahh, thank you. This is a desperate struggle fo the mc. I think so as well the first scene captures ut better for the story.

 

[NotaNuffian]

The first. Because I am currently in the MC's shoes, not as one of the peanut gallery.

In fact, the second one lacks impact on my mood.

 

[Kenjona]

Simplistic is better and more concise, too wordy and you lose people. So #2. However your first one has less overall mistakes. Like Safire instead of sapphire. Or the separation in paragraphs in the first one to make it easier for the eyes to read. But more information on the MC's inner thoughts would be nice, its just almost no one I have ever heard of is that wordy when they are in anguish, from a lot of physical pain. At least I have never been nor have I known anyone else to mention it. A lot of shits and fucks were going through my head more than I can do this. Afterward though, yeah I got wordy in my head. But during it? No.

 

[NotaNuffian]

@ManwX Try to blend them for optimal wall of text?

 

[ACertainPassingUser]

Scene one all the way.