ElijahRyne
A Hermit that’s NOT that Lazy, currentlycomplainen
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2021
- Messages
- 1,809
- Points
- 153
I was rereading my last publicly available story, and was quite gratified at its quality and amazed at its consistency. It definitely imo, seemed cliché at points, but was quite good nonetheless. The story however was clunky imo, it was interrupted by the so called timeline chapters way too often and the letters and entries were often too short and perfunctory imo. It also suffered from a lack of interaction, the secondary storyline in between the detectives and their bureau pretty much died in the cradle.
On the otherside the tone was consistent in its unsettling curiosity and uncaringness. Its language mostly kept to its setting in the vague pre/beginning enlightenment while still being easily readable nowadays, however one could definitely say it doesn’t go far enough in its antiquity. The story telling style also boosted both the story and the mystery, instead of being distracting imo. Having everything your reading being letters, diary entries, logs, etc. and that you could request information from past records made it really feel like a mystery that didn’t want to be solved. All in all a step up from Gullnain’s wishy-washyness in between being having a noir feeling and just feeling like reading bullet points, imo.
What I learned is 1- don’t tell a story driven interactive story unless you know you can get interaction. 2- Style can boost the story, yet, 3-there is a limit to it, and it is better to be more average if the style hampers readability. 4-Having chapters being as small/short as they were here was more annoying than helpful.
www.scribblehub.com
Anyways what are your thoughts and feedback on the story as a whole? It is ~10,000 words if you are on the fence. And I don’t mean grammatical/spelling mistakes, unless they are consistent, I mean the style and how the story feels as you read it. Is my retrospective accurate or do you have a completely different take?
More simply, what are your thoughts on the story?
On the otherside the tone was consistent in its unsettling curiosity and uncaringness. Its language mostly kept to its setting in the vague pre/beginning enlightenment while still being easily readable nowadays, however one could definitely say it doesn’t go far enough in its antiquity. The story telling style also boosted both the story and the mystery, instead of being distracting imo. Having everything your reading being letters, diary entries, logs, etc. and that you could request information from past records made it really feel like a mystery that didn’t want to be solved. All in all a step up from Gullnain’s wishy-washyness in between being having a noir feeling and just feeling like reading bullet points, imo.
What I learned is 1- don’t tell a story driven interactive story unless you know you can get interaction. 2- Style can boost the story, yet, 3-there is a limit to it, and it is better to be more average if the style hampers readability. 4-Having chapters being as small/short as they were here was more annoying than helpful.
The Thread Tree (Interactive Story)
An archive of the events surrounding the before, during, and after of the Thread Tree incident of 1547. You are part of the Detective department. You are looking into the Thread Tree incident of 1547. You can send memos to the archive department, the exorcist department, the monastic...
Anyways what are your thoughts and feedback on the story as a whole? It is ~10,000 words if you are on the fence. And I don’t mean grammatical/spelling mistakes, unless they are consistent, I mean the style and how the story feels as you read it. Is my retrospective accurate or do you have a completely different take?
More simply, what are your thoughts on the story?
