Throwing in my novel for free review

[CamilleCrow]

Hello, it is i. I'm new to this site, and i was hoping to get some thoughts on a thing that im writing. I promise i have no ulterior motives :)

An Irregular World & The Girl from Another Place

A Fantasy World, Filled with Wonders and Life. And Somewhere in this world, A Girl from A Mysterious Place that seems to stand out, even amongst the crowd of beings that would only exist in fairy tales. Follow her journey as she travels to this Little World known as Hernliorn. [...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[Representing_Tromba]

Well, welcome to Scribblehub and I hope you enjoy it.

As for the story, I don't think you need to point out the POV as people will only point it out if it doesn't flow with the story. You can point out who is the focus with descriptions. The story could use some better descriptions but it seems interesting to read.

 

[CamilleCrow]

Well, welcome to Scribblehub and I hope you enjoy it.

As for the story, I don't think you need to point out the POV as people will only point it out if it doesn't flow with the story. You can point out who is the focus with descriptions. The story could use some better descriptions but it seems interesting to read.

The whole "pointing out who's pov it currently is" thing was more of a style thing more than anything, but i won't deny that i was kinda afraid that people wouldn't be able to know who's pov it currently was. Kind of.

Anyway, once i'm done with with my little break, i'll be doing a bit of experimentation on future chapters, so i'll be waiting to hear your thoughts in the future (if you decide to follow the series, that is. which is totally fine if you don't)

 

[Representing_Tromba]

The whole "pointing out who's pov it currently is" thing was more of a style thing more than anything, but i won't deny that i was kinda afraid that people wouldn't be able to know who's pov it currently was. Kind of.

Anyway, once i'm done with with my little break, i'll be doing a bit of experimentation on future chapters, so i'll be waiting to hear your thoughts in the future (if you decide to follow the series, that is. which is totally fine if you don't)

I see.

 

[Syringe]

Yay, more Gender Bender!

Seems good so far!

Just two points of improvement: Descriptions and capitalisation.
- Descriptions could do a little more work, since I had trouble figuring out where things were taking place.
- A lot of things are capitalised throughout the chapters. At first I thought they were unique objects, but I sadly realised that wasn't the case.
E.g 'Exploring Any New Dungeon' in the first chapter, right at the very top.

 

[CamilleCrow]

Yay, more Gender Bender!

Seems good so far!

Just two points of improvement: Descriptions and capitalisation.
- Descriptions could do a little more work, since I had trouble figuring out where things were taking place.
- A lot of things are capitalised throughout the chapters. At first I thought they were unique objects, but I sadly realised that wasn't the case.
E.g 'Exploring Any New Dungeon' in the first chapter, right at the very top.

I'll definitely try to make the descriptions better, but there's this really bad problem that i have when it comes to capitalisation

The random capitalisations are always out of instincts, but i try my best to atleast correct them. But sometimes i leave some unfixed because i thought they were right.

It is honestly a big problem that i have when writing things, and i might cry about it