DaelyxLenAuphydas
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So I just thought of this because of my wanting to share some bits of writing in another thread. I ultimately decided not to since it was only somewhat on topic, and it felt kinda scummy to divert it with what might seem like self promotion. But I got to thinking; I often have bits of writing that are not part of my story 'proper' but instead are character interactions or bits displaced from the main story in some way. Sometimes these eventually find their way into the main narrative but more often they just linger around in my big ol' "inspiration document" to help me think about how to flesh out the characters and help keep in sights what their character arc is like.
The problem is, these are often some of my favorite bits of writing, and many of them never actually end up in a story! Or if they do, its so late that it feels so draining trying to wait for them! So I wondered. Does anyone else have sections of writing that they are proud of and want to talk to people about or share with the world, but generally don't because they dont wind up in the actual story? Maybe we could share those kinds of things around, if anyone else has a similar experience.
For my part, I was just talking about sibling relationships in that other thread I mentioned and started thinking about some of the 'inspiration' bits I wrote for my Generation C project which isn't live yet. Some of my favorite writing is in those sections but I dont get to share them around! Well. Here's my chance I'm giving myself, I guess. Have some sibling drama!
The problem is, these are often some of my favorite bits of writing, and many of them never actually end up in a story! Or if they do, its so late that it feels so draining trying to wait for them! So I wondered. Does anyone else have sections of writing that they are proud of and want to talk to people about or share with the world, but generally don't because they dont wind up in the actual story? Maybe we could share those kinds of things around, if anyone else has a similar experience.
For my part, I was just talking about sibling relationships in that other thread I mentioned and started thinking about some of the 'inspiration' bits I wrote for my Generation C project which isn't live yet. Some of my favorite writing is in those sections but I dont get to share them around! Well. Here's my chance I'm giving myself, I guess. Have some sibling drama!
“Why would you do something like that!? Did you even think of the consequences? If I hadn’t caught you, you could have… You’d have…” Ceridwen chokes up, unable to finish the statement as he jabs Seren in the chest with his hoof.
Seren bristles in response, glaring back. “And so what if I would have? My life is mine to spend as I wish. I won’t ever see the world I want to without taking risks.”
“That’s… You….” Ceridwen stammers out, staring into Seren’s eyes incredulously, before he finally stomps his hoof back onto the ground, fuming. “Fine. If that’s how it is. But just remember this; When you risk your life, you’re risking two ponies lives. We came into this world together, and I won’t suffer the indignity of lingering in it alone. If you go, I’ll be right behind you, and that’s a promise.”
Seren bristles in response, glaring back. “And so what if I would have? My life is mine to spend as I wish. I won’t ever see the world I want to without taking risks.”
“That’s… You….” Ceridwen stammers out, staring into Seren’s eyes incredulously, before he finally stomps his hoof back onto the ground, fuming. “Fine. If that’s how it is. But just remember this; When you risk your life, you’re risking two ponies lives. We came into this world together, and I won’t suffer the indignity of lingering in it alone. If you go, I’ll be right behind you, and that’s a promise.”
Seren gnashes her beak in frustration, finally stomping on the ground. “Open your eyes, Starhawk!” She finally shouts, shaking her dejected brother by the shoulder. “None of us would even be here if not for you! Back at Luddas, you were the one who protected me from our father. At Portslamb, you were the miracle that changed the tide of the battle! You found this place to build our new home. Even before the war, when I was wounded and weak when Torrent came for me, you kept him at bay. Hell’s teeth, even the Knights father sent out, you were the one who stopped them! I wouldn’t have even known where to look without your help, back in the archives, without you knowing why I wanted to know. None of us would even be here if not for you.”
Ceridwen shoots a dirty look back. “What, you mean when I betrayed our father’s servants, took advantage of their trust and stabbed them in the back? When I killed my own flesh and blood with my own four hooves? When I left our mother all alone with an army of vengeful revolutionaries?” He quips sardonically. “How about when I chased my own sister down, just to… Get these heavensforsaken feelings for her?”
“Because I keep putting you in these positions!” Seren shouts back. “You suffer the consequences of my actions, and then you’re left to carry all of their weight! When I left you alone back in Luddas, when you had to kill to escape, when I forced you to kill over and over again just to protect me! That was all me, but you’re still saddled with the guilt!” Seren’s voice breaks, as she winces, her heart rising in her throat making it harder to speak.
When she continues, her voice is quiet and unsteady. “Every time I thought my little escapade was at it's end, that I’d gotten as far as I could, you were there to bail me out. My stupid, shortsighted actions caused every problem you’ve ever had, and yet you’re still here with me. I love you, Starhawk, more than you could possibly know. To everypony else, you’re the miracle at Portslamb, who turned the tide when things looked hopeless. Who let us make this whole new world together! But to me, you were my miracle a long, long time before that. Because by our old faith, by the laws that governed our world, you shouldn’t have even been born at all. And yet…” Seren places one hoof below Ceridwen’s beak, steering his eyes to look into her own, brimming with tears. “You were anyways. And because of that, I didn’t have to be alone. And yet despite that, I tried to leave you alone. So please… stop blaming yourself for the fallout of my actions. You’re the only reason any of us are here at all. You’re… the reason I am who I am.”
Ceridwen shoots a dirty look back. “What, you mean when I betrayed our father’s servants, took advantage of their trust and stabbed them in the back? When I killed my own flesh and blood with my own four hooves? When I left our mother all alone with an army of vengeful revolutionaries?” He quips sardonically. “How about when I chased my own sister down, just to… Get these heavensforsaken feelings for her?”
“Because I keep putting you in these positions!” Seren shouts back. “You suffer the consequences of my actions, and then you’re left to carry all of their weight! When I left you alone back in Luddas, when you had to kill to escape, when I forced you to kill over and over again just to protect me! That was all me, but you’re still saddled with the guilt!” Seren’s voice breaks, as she winces, her heart rising in her throat making it harder to speak.
When she continues, her voice is quiet and unsteady. “Every time I thought my little escapade was at it's end, that I’d gotten as far as I could, you were there to bail me out. My stupid, shortsighted actions caused every problem you’ve ever had, and yet you’re still here with me. I love you, Starhawk, more than you could possibly know. To everypony else, you’re the miracle at Portslamb, who turned the tide when things looked hopeless. Who let us make this whole new world together! But to me, you were my miracle a long, long time before that. Because by our old faith, by the laws that governed our world, you shouldn’t have even been born at all. And yet…” Seren places one hoof below Ceridwen’s beak, steering his eyes to look into her own, brimming with tears. “You were anyways. And because of that, I didn’t have to be alone. And yet despite that, I tried to leave you alone. So please… stop blaming yourself for the fallout of my actions. You’re the only reason any of us are here at all. You’re… the reason I am who I am.”
She’d always believed in romance, never giving it a second thought nor doubt until the events of the promenade. But it wasn’t Rosewine that had made her second guess herself, or set her on this path; She’d always known there were those who would seek to take advantage of her. One stallion deceiving and taking advantage of her did not damn them all.
No, rather her current trajectory of thought was something that had been brewing underneath the surface for almost as long from a different source; her feelings for her brother, Starhawk.
Because she knew that it was wrong to have such attractions to her own flesh and blood. She knew it with a conviction which she had rarely felt for anything else in all of her life. She knew without a shadow of a doubt that those feelings were contradictory, blasphemous when put together. But if that was the case, which half was wrong?
If romance truly is the epitome of love, the highest ideal of attachment that she’d always believed it was, then how could it be that once it touched her family it became flawed? That connection with him struck her as so special. To know that they’d been together since before they were born, that the same blood swam in both their veins. That the same things that made her also made him, like they were two pieces that were only complete when together. How could love felt for the one she shared such a special connection with, the one she’d spent so much time with, the one she adored above all else, be so twisted?
There was only one explanation that could reconcile that dissonance for her. That the feeling she’d started to feel for him, which had poisoned the purity of their bond, was not love at all. How could it be? How could something which had driven her away out of terror that she would defile the perfection of their attachment, be the same thing as the affection she held in her heart for him?
No. That was not love, and never had been.
No, rather her current trajectory of thought was something that had been brewing underneath the surface for almost as long from a different source; her feelings for her brother, Starhawk.
Because she knew that it was wrong to have such attractions to her own flesh and blood. She knew it with a conviction which she had rarely felt for anything else in all of her life. She knew without a shadow of a doubt that those feelings were contradictory, blasphemous when put together. But if that was the case, which half was wrong?
If romance truly is the epitome of love, the highest ideal of attachment that she’d always believed it was, then how could it be that once it touched her family it became flawed? That connection with him struck her as so special. To know that they’d been together since before they were born, that the same blood swam in both their veins. That the same things that made her also made him, like they were two pieces that were only complete when together. How could love felt for the one she shared such a special connection with, the one she’d spent so much time with, the one she adored above all else, be so twisted?
There was only one explanation that could reconcile that dissonance for her. That the feeling she’d started to feel for him, which had poisoned the purity of their bond, was not love at all. How could it be? How could something which had driven her away out of terror that she would defile the perfection of their attachment, be the same thing as the affection she held in her heart for him?
No. That was not love, and never had been.
Seren blinks back tears, an overwhelming feeling of both remorse and joy filling her heart. Remorse at all the feelings she’d felt up to that point, all the things she’d done to keep them apart. And joy because, despite it all, despite what both of them had felt, despite years of silent distance and cruel yearning… They were both still here.
Ceridwen was looking at her unsurely, eyes wide with shock at the sight of her wings. Did he even realize what he’d become yet? It didn’t matter. Seren starts walking, then breaking into a trot, then a canter, and then a full on gallop, unfamiliar limbs spread wide for balance as she collides with him, throwing both forelimbs around his shoulders, embracing him more firmly than she had dared to in years.
“I swear, I must be the luckiest pony in the world.” Seren mutters, closing her eyes tightly. Because, despite everything, he was still her brother, her very flesh and blood. And to her, nothing could ever be more special than that. “Ceridwen Starhawk Llewelydd… I love you more than I thought a pony could ever love anything.”
Ceridwen was looking at her unsurely, eyes wide with shock at the sight of her wings. Did he even realize what he’d become yet? It didn’t matter. Seren starts walking, then breaking into a trot, then a canter, and then a full on gallop, unfamiliar limbs spread wide for balance as she collides with him, throwing both forelimbs around his shoulders, embracing him more firmly than she had dared to in years.
“I swear, I must be the luckiest pony in the world.” Seren mutters, closing her eyes tightly. Because, despite everything, he was still her brother, her very flesh and blood. And to her, nothing could ever be more special than that. “Ceridwen Starhawk Llewelydd… I love you more than I thought a pony could ever love anything.”
