Just some little rant, one I have to get off my chest.
Never before did I think this would happen to me, which I suppose everyone says about literally everything. This is something I promised myself I would never do for the simple fact it can snowball into damnation. And that, is dropping my story and hopefully rewriting at a different point in time.
Started as a random thought in my head. Popped up out the blue randomly. 'What if I dropped?' Of course I said to myself, what a fucking moron. This is a 3am thought off barely any sleep and therefore, mainly meaningless. Just take a day to think it over and you'll realize how big of a numbskull you are.
I swear this thought fucking spread like a plague. Consuming the few wrinkles I had in my brain and forcing the limited thinking power I had to go in this direction. Yet another thought came. If I drop, I won't have to write for this particular story any longer. That was it. Sealed my fate into a jar like a goddamn genie.
Because the relief which washed over me was both immense, and eye opening. Made me feel like a heavy ass stone was lifted off my shoulders by Zeus himself. That's a telling sign and an indicator that I probably should stop writing if I feel such a way. Sort of like if you're reading a story and start skimming. At that point why are you even bothering to continue?
Always believed that if I were to drop one day, it'd be because of my readers. Negative reviews, ratings, comments, nasty slurs. The usual. But I suppose I'm blessed in that regard since I only remember a single negative review and commenter, not even on this story mind you, which to this day infuriates me for the simple fact they're complaining about a tag. A tag, which is right fucking there you absolute red cheeked baboon. If he gave criticism on how to improve, I got nothing to say. Might even give him a footrub for his hard work.
I hate the idea of doing this though, mainly because of the amount of unique world building I put in. Not now since at the moment it's just this generic piece of fantasy dogshit. I'm taking about the future chapters and events. Problem is that'll take what, hundreds of chapters and millions of words at the current pace? Ain't gonna happen.
Those who have dropped before probably know that it's like gambling. Do it once and it'll happen again, and again, and again. Becomes easier and easier. Soon enough you make excuses, which spirals into even more excuses. Until suddenly there's ten stories racked up, not even a single one finished. It's super easy to fall into this type of mentality. Especially the 'I'll drop this, but next time will be different!'. It won't be.
I have resigned myself to this decision because it's for the best. I fully understand that if I were to forcefully continue writing, I'll end up hating it like my first story; which I'm bum rushing to an ending so it can fuck off from my life.
But there is good news to this. I recognize the mistakes I made and will try correcting them to the best of my abilities. Like uploading the chapters way too fucking early before having enougn of a back log, and veering off course of the original design. Can't forget also trying to make the story actually entertaining.
Then there's making better use of my word count. My second story, the one I'm dropping, has racked up 180,000 words. Nearly two hundred thosuand words! Stellar work! And it feels like I've done a grand total of jack diddly shit with it. So much of it just feels worthless and unneeded. First Arc was suppose to end in 50 chapters maximum. Well, it's almost 60 and at this rate; it'll take at least another thirty to reach a conclusion.
Now I have to go and write a YouTube Apology Chapter explaining why I'm dropping blah, blah, blah. But this is what I get for allowing things to reach this point.
It's not depressing or anything, just disappointing.
Never before did I think this would happen to me, which I suppose everyone says about literally everything. This is something I promised myself I would never do for the simple fact it can snowball into damnation. And that, is dropping my story and hopefully rewriting at a different point in time.
Started as a random thought in my head. Popped up out the blue randomly. 'What if I dropped?' Of course I said to myself, what a fucking moron. This is a 3am thought off barely any sleep and therefore, mainly meaningless. Just take a day to think it over and you'll realize how big of a numbskull you are.
I swear this thought fucking spread like a plague. Consuming the few wrinkles I had in my brain and forcing the limited thinking power I had to go in this direction. Yet another thought came. If I drop, I won't have to write for this particular story any longer. That was it. Sealed my fate into a jar like a goddamn genie.
Because the relief which washed over me was both immense, and eye opening. Made me feel like a heavy ass stone was lifted off my shoulders by Zeus himself. That's a telling sign and an indicator that I probably should stop writing if I feel such a way. Sort of like if you're reading a story and start skimming. At that point why are you even bothering to continue?
Always believed that if I were to drop one day, it'd be because of my readers. Negative reviews, ratings, comments, nasty slurs. The usual. But I suppose I'm blessed in that regard since I only remember a single negative review and commenter, not even on this story mind you, which to this day infuriates me for the simple fact they're complaining about a tag. A tag, which is right fucking there you absolute red cheeked baboon. If he gave criticism on how to improve, I got nothing to say. Might even give him a footrub for his hard work.
I hate the idea of doing this though, mainly because of the amount of unique world building I put in. Not now since at the moment it's just this generic piece of fantasy dogshit. I'm taking about the future chapters and events. Problem is that'll take what, hundreds of chapters and millions of words at the current pace? Ain't gonna happen.
Those who have dropped before probably know that it's like gambling. Do it once and it'll happen again, and again, and again. Becomes easier and easier. Soon enough you make excuses, which spirals into even more excuses. Until suddenly there's ten stories racked up, not even a single one finished. It's super easy to fall into this type of mentality. Especially the 'I'll drop this, but next time will be different!'. It won't be.
I have resigned myself to this decision because it's for the best. I fully understand that if I were to forcefully continue writing, I'll end up hating it like my first story; which I'm bum rushing to an ending so it can fuck off from my life.
But there is good news to this. I recognize the mistakes I made and will try correcting them to the best of my abilities. Like uploading the chapters way too fucking early before having enougn of a back log, and veering off course of the original design. Can't forget also trying to make the story actually entertaining.
Then there's making better use of my word count. My second story, the one I'm dropping, has racked up 180,000 words. Nearly two hundred thosuand words! Stellar work! And it feels like I've done a grand total of jack diddly shit with it. So much of it just feels worthless and unneeded. First Arc was suppose to end in 50 chapters maximum. Well, it's almost 60 and at this rate; it'll take at least another thirty to reach a conclusion.
Now I have to go and write a YouTube Apology Chapter explaining why I'm dropping blah, blah, blah. But this is what I get for allowing things to reach this point.
It's not depressing or anything, just disappointing.