Writing Prompt the chosen idiot

[Racosharko]

You, a shapeshifting spirit of the lake.
You just got a new job gaving out swords to would be kings.

But the first guy you gave a sword to was playing around with the newly acquired magic sword, he slipped on the muddy banks of the lake and cut his own throat open.

Your first chosen would be king dying in moments of getting a sword. this was not something you want on your CV.

Just as you were deciding how to salvage the situation, you hear the retainer of your chosen idiot calling out, looking for the dead noble.
....

Write a little bit of what happens next.

 

[CinnaSloth]

I pull the dummy into the water to eat him later, and wait till the other dummy comes near.

I pop out of the water and ask, "Did you drop a golden axe, or a silver axe?"

If he says neither, I give him a sword.
If he said gold. I give him the 1st dummy.
If he said silver. I pull him into the water with the first dummy.

heh heh heh lol

 

[Juia_Darkcrest]

I would let the retainer arrive, then when he accosted me about the situation, I would use the deepest, most haughty tone I could manage and say something along the lines of. "Mortal, I provide you feeble-minded insects, weapons with extraordinary powers and abilities. It is up to you to dominate your blade and to prove yourself worthy of that power. That one, that one was judged by his blade and found wanting."

Then I would lean forward, looming over the retainer and trying to be as intimidating as possible, "Do you think you have what it takes to be a King puny one? If so, take up the blade and be gone from my sight!"

Meanwhile, inside, you are shaking that your boss was going to catch your bullshit from a mistake on your first day on the job.

 

[LeilaniOtter]

The Spirit of the Lake watched as the newcomer approached and cleared her throat. "I, um, offered him the sword with which he could rule. But, mortals cannot always handle the stress of being a ruler." She pointed to the corpse. "Sadly, this one has taken his own life."

The retainer gasped, "How horrible! That is so sad. He never told us he was depressed!" He bent down and examined the body. "Did he say anything?"

The Spirit stammered, toying with her long hair, "Uh, Oh! Um, w-well, he was v-very pleased at first about being a king and...and...then he was saying about how he wasn't worthy and just...sliced his throat with the sword."

"It's not a very deep cut..."

"Well, it was deep enough," she snapped back at him.

He looked at the sword, careful not to touch it. "The sword's edge is rather dull too."

"Well, what do you expect?" she replied haughtily with a shrug, folding her arms. "It's been lying in the lake all this time! it's not like I keep it in cold storage or something to maintain the sharpness, honestly!"

The retainer next knelt over the man's head and checked the wound carefully. "This just doesn't seem like a forced cut."

"Are you quite sure?" She daintily approached the bank, peering down. "He was bleeding like a stuck pig moments ago."

The retainer looked up at her. "This just doesn't seem self-inflicted. Look at the lay of the blood. There should be blood on his hands, his chemise-"

"R-Really?" The Spirit flushed, her sightless white eyes darting.

The retainer continued, "And the way the sword is laying near him. I've known him all my life and he was left-handed. He couldn't have killed himself, I'm telling you..."

"I-I see," the Spirit nodded quickly, licking her lips. She noticed the retainer had stood back up and was now looking back at the town. As quietly as she could, she bent down to pick up the sword.

"I'd better get some help," the retainer sighed. "We need to block this whole area. This is now a crime scene. I'll have to ask you to-"

He got no further. The Spirit of the Lake took a mighty swing and sliced through the retainer's neck, neatly separating his head from his body. She warily gazed up the pathway towards the town, then quickly kicked the retainer's head into the water. After dragging the headless body into the water next, making sure to weigh it down heavily with large rocks, she turned her attention to the first man.

"Clumsy idiot," she growled and carried him with her into the lake, disappearing just as guards on horseback arrived.

 

[Our_Lady_in_Twilight]

I'd probably write it off as a bad job. In any case, strange women in ponds distributing swords is no real basis for a system of government.

 

[LeilaniOtter]

I'd probably write it off as a bad job. In any case, strange women in ponds distributing swords is no real basis for a system of government.

Are you suggesting the Lady of the Lake mi-grates?!

 

[Racosharko]

One option is the spirit of the lake try to cover it up by impersonating the Nobel and try to be come a king of a few years.

 

[Juia_Darkcrest]

One option is the spirit of the lake try to cover it up by impersonating the Nobel and try to be come a king of a few years.

i kind of thought that was were you were going with this, but honestly I thought it would be funnier if it was like one of those weird Japanese animes with a long title.

I Reincarnated As A Spirit Whose Soul Job Is To Give Would Be Kings A Magic Weapon, But They All Keep Dying On Me, So I Decided To Do It Myself

 

[Racosharko]

But They All Keep Dying On Me

And strangely the only creature to not self destruct while holding the sword are raccoons.

But how can a raccon become a king? Ridiculous.

Unless...


I Reincarnated As A Spirit Whose Soul Job Is To Give Would Be Kings A Magic Weapon, But They All Keep Dying On Me, except raccons, So I Decided train three raccoons in a suit of armor to be king, while I secretly control the kingdom.

 

[Anonjohn20]

I simply bribe the retainer with another sword so he'll keep quiet.