Synopsis update.

[OscarTlau]

After much thinking, I have finally decided to rerelease my chapters. Starting with the synopsis, since it is the HARDEST part to write ngl.

Here is the updated synopsis, tmk if there are anythings to change or how I could improve it:

In the beginning, there was peace. Its Creator–The Word, created two sons, Caleon and Azarath. One to govern the heavenly realm and one to protect his creations.

Corrupted by sins, war tore the universe apart. And soon, their corruption spread, the universe believed them the true creators. Driven by pride and anger, the angels who refused to embrace these falsehoods scattered and become a self-proclaimed god over distant worlds.

In secret, The Word created a being—a weapon of divine wrath to bring truth and justice upon the false gods, his name—Minos.

Yet even he was outsmarted by Caleon, who imprisoned him in a realm of endless torture—Pandora’s box. With barely enough strength to create a spiritual body, Minos managed to escape the clutches of Celestia.

Meanwhile, Earth is on the brink of extinction, overran by demons in search for Minos, to use his powers for their god’s own gains.

Amidst the chaos, Minos reunites with his old friend, Victor—who remembers nothing of their past.

Now, alongside his old ally, Minos seeks to bring back Victor’s old memories. Battling through the unending demonic invasions, he wages war on distant worlds and seek the power to free himself, and reclaim what was taken.

I followed a tutorial I found on pinterest about how to split synopsis into parts.

Thanks in advance.
Much love <3

 

[CharlesEBrown]

In the beginning, there was peace. Its Creator–The Word, created two sons, Caleon and Azarath. One to govern the heavenly realm and one to protect his creations.

Corrupted by sin,, war tore the universe apart. And soon, the corruption spread, as the universe grew to believe them the true creators. Driven by pride and anger, the angels who refused to embrace these falsehoods scattered and become self-proclaimed gods over distant worlds.

In secret, The Word created a being—a weapon of divine wrath to bring truth and justice upon the false gods, named Minos.

Yet even he was outsmarted by Caleon, who imprisoned him in Pandora’s box, a realm of endless torture. With barely enough strength to create a spiritual body, Minos managed to escape the clutches of Celestia.

Meanwhile, Earth is on the brink of extinction, overran by demons in search for Minos, to use his powers for their god’s own gains.

Amidst the chaos, Minos reunites with his old friend, Victor—who remembers nothing of their past.

Now, alongside his old ally, Minos seeks to bring back Victor’s old memories. Battling through the unending demonic invasions, he wages war on distant worlds and seek the power to free himself, and reclaim what was taken.

The name in bold seems to appear out of nowhere - should it be mentioned before, omitted, or is it supposed to be Caleon?
And where do these "demons" come from - are they the servants of the angels who have claimed their own worlds, or have they been there all along? The line about Earth may not really be needed - just "Now war tears through the universe as various forces seek to find and recruit or enslave Minos"

Also you could easily combine the sections about Minos and Victor - something like "Now Minos has found his old ally Victor, who remembers nothing of their past. Together they seek to reclaim those memories" as a single statement.

 

[Dieter]

Don't think you've written a synopsis there OP. More like a creation myth summarized into a short-form prologue.

 

[K_Jira]

I think there's a bit too much names and jargons that distracts the focus from the actual story you want to hook

 

[Tempokai]

It is still an infodump about some creation myth that no one cares from the start. It's not about the prose, but about the ideas present. You're putting more weight on the world, not the characters, which the readers want more. Weigh the ideas properly.