Show dont tell

HydraScribe_1

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Joined
Mar 11, 2026
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As the title say, am I doing too little of 'Show dont tell' ? I have been going over and over the first 20 chapters editing daily (yes, im that kind of person who gets the itch as soon as i feel something is wrong).
Can you please read however many paragraphs / chapters you want, and tell me if Im hallucinating, and that I should keep my edit itchiness controlled lmao.
Oh and if you end up reading please give me the examples where i am over doing of telling or too little of showing.
Thank you :giggle:
 

c37

Well-known member
Joined
May 13, 2025
Messages
335
Points
63
As the title say, am I doing too little of 'Show dont tell' ? I have been going over and over the first 20 chapters editing daily (yes, im that kind of person who gets the itch as soon as i feel something is wrong).
Can you please read however many paragraphs / chapters you want, and tell me if Im hallucinating, and that I should keep my edit itchiness controlled lmao.
Oh and if you end up reading please give me the examples where i am over doing of telling or too little of showing.
Thank you :giggle:
As @Eldoria once said to me, don't start with characters directly. Rather, set up the atmosphere with the room or environment the character is in. Then, sensory bits of the character. I'll be honest, the lack of a name for "she" in the beginning two to three lines is a little off-putting for me. So, if you can add a name in Chapter 1 itself. Add Lilithira in the beginning line itself, like "Lilithira woke up," and add the name for every second paragraph; this gets the reader to mark the name in their mind.
 
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